Shutterstock

When I first learned that I was going to be in New York the summer after my college graduation, I told myself that I wasn’t going to be a “Mary Tyler Moore” or a “Carrie Bradshaw.” I was not one of those small-town girls who made it out of the country, only to be seduced by the big city. I’d been to New York before…it didn’t impress me all that much.

Well, turns out visiting New York, experiencing the city in between conferences and plush hotel rooms is completely different from working in the city and living in Brooklyn. First I fell in love with Brooklyn and then I noticed that Manhattan, where I worked, had an energy that literally and figuratively propelled me to succeed. By the second month, of my three month internship, I was making plans to have a New York address before the year was out. Moving to New York, meant I would need to open a bank account somewhere in the city. Being that there was a Chase on every corner, that was the obvious choice. So one day, after work I walked a block or so to the nearest Chase to open up an account.

As a black woman, you always notice the other black people in the room. This person, I honestly can’t even remember his name at this point, was working at one of the desks. When he saw my “I need assistance” look, he jumped up to help me. I told him I needed to open up an account. We headed back to his desk where he set me up. In between the paperwork and the questions, there was small talk. What do you do for a living? I told him, so he knew my office was literally a block from his own. What do you do for fun? He told me that he was into racing cars. And that’s what he did on the weekend. He told me he knew Nicole Scherzinger’s boyfriend Lewis Hamilton.  At the time I was looking for a story about black people to pitch to a black publication and this seemed ideal.I mentioned that I would like to speak to he and Hamilton if possible. So when he suggested he and I grab lunch next week, I just knew it was because he wanted to talk to me about the racing. I wasn’t really opposed to going on a date with him, but he was too short and not attractive enough for it to be my first thought. Aside from the fact that he tried to tell me that the login I’d chosen for my bank account, should have been different, I didn’t get any seriously bad vibes from him, so I figured going out to lunch, wouldn’t be too bad. Still the day of the date, I gave my mom the address of the Chipotle we were going to just in case she needed to provide the authorities with the address of the last place I’d been seen alive.

He took me to the Chipotle, where his uncle, who worked there, hooked us up.

As soon as I sat down, he says, “Well, what do you want to talk about?” Hmm…nice way to break the ice there pal. I thought it was weird but I just assumed he meant, what questions did I have about racing. I turned away to get my notepad out. Yes, I’d prepared questions. He must have been looking at me funny or something because in the midst of my search, I asked him, “You mean about racing right?”

“No, about anything.”

“Oh.”

That’s when it hit me, he thought this was a date. I was immediately disgusted. At him for bamboozling me and at myself for falling for it. But I was already there, so I just needed to make the best of the situation.

Unfortunately, it was easier thought than done. Before our date ended, homeboy told me that he didn’t really get down with his family members and he didn’t believe in God. Now, I’d like to think I’m tolerate of religious beliefs and what not; but as someone who’s super close to their family and someone whose relationship with God is vitally important, I would never fool myself into believing that I could date someone who didn’t share my faith, or at least believe in a higher power. I had pretty much checked out. It was all just too much: the bamboozlement, the lack of faith and the struggle to converse were the three strikes I needed to be done. Thank God I had to get back to work.

I told him we had better be going. As he was walking back to my job, we saw some man, who looked the part of a stereotypical gay man. He was impeccably dressed, with vibrant colors, a man bag and a fresh fade. He looked good. My date didn’t seem to agree though. As soon as the man crossed his line of vision, he started clowning him. “Look at this dude. Walking around looking like a nerd!” I was silent. What was this high school? I told him I liked the brotha’s ensemble. That’s when my date said one of the saddest, most pathetic things I’d ever heard. “Well, you know sometimes you have to talk about people first before they can get a chance to talk about you.”

Huh?!

I scoffed, before I dropped just a little bit of knowledge on him, “I’m sure people aren’t looking at you as much as you think they are.”

It was at this point that I knew that this was the last time I would see dude. He was tragically insecure. Probably one of those kids who was a bully to his peers in high school. I was officially disgusted.

I thought that was the last time I’d see him; but lo and behold as I was walking down the stairs into the subway station, who do I see but my date. I tried to make myself small and take another staircase; but before I could turn and walk the other way, he’d spotted me.

“Veronica!”

Caught.

I walked down the stairs slowly. He was with one of his coworkers so I didn’t have to be too accommodating. Thankfully, my date wasn’t going too far on the train and I could get by with fake, close lipped smiles and “umm hmms.” Before he jumped off he said, “Veronica, have you ever been to Coney Island?” I hadn’t and, instead of lying, I told the truth.

“I should take you sometime.”

I just said “Hmm…”

Shutterstock

When it comes to dating, you’ll find that some dates are a hit and others are a complete miss (and mess). Even though you may get along with someone through emails and messages, you may find that in person, the two of you don’t click at all. This can easily make for an awkward date and during a bad date, you’ll want to stay calm and collected while trying not to make matters worse. If you find yourself in the position of an extremely awkward date, here are some tips to help you through it (or out of it).

Shutterstock.com

When it comes to the dating scene, you’ll find that there are certain guys you hit it off with right away, and then there are those dates that you’d love to just erase from your mind completely. Let’s say you’ve gone on this one date recently and you’re completely stuck as to what to do next. You like him but you aren’t sure if he’s worth a second date or if it’s best to just move on to another guy. Here are 14 behaviors to check for if you’re trying to figure out if you two should have another go ’round.

There has been a lot of talk of more and more men asking the women they take out to pay for their dates. Well, this struck us as a bit unbelievable so we took to our Facebook page to ask our readers if a man had ever asked them to pay and what they said in response to this request. See what they had to say.

Davina: Does hell go with no?!?!

Karen: Yes. I guess me still being Single answers my response.

Lydia: Told that nigha hell no if u ask me than that’s ur treat

Lloyd: I once had to pay for a lunch date we had at ihop, on top of that this broke bastard only left a $3, needless to say we never went out again. Every time I think about that mess I get heated.

Crystal: I looked at that fool like he had three heads, rolled my eyes and kept talking like he never asked.

Meshele: I paid his A$$ no attention and left !

Kristina: I went to dinner with a guy and he informed me that he found it Hot when a woman exudes her independence. I said watch me independently get a ride home and left!

Tiffany: I left him at the table

Noelle: yes and i told him no and told him to take me back home and i called him a bum

Rochelle: Yes. He was very late & then said he forgot his wallet. It was our 1 & only date.

Charmaine: Yes, on new years eve , all day we was talking about hanging out , then when I called and asked him when he wanted to hook up, said thAt he forgot to tell me he was low on money, I told him ok I will talk to him tomorrow, lol

Candice: Yes, and my response was, ”…and what would possess me to do that? ” We don’t speak anymore.

Tenee: Yeah, and he waited after we ordered food and drinks; When the bill came he came up with this lame A$$ story about not having enough money, so I kindly left my part of the bill and walked out of the restaurant. That’ll teach his A$$

Latanya: Yes, I’m married to him. We would go dutch throughout our dating status. It’s fine.

Anastasia: I went on a first date with this dude and when the check came this mofo was like oh your part is $$$. I was so shocked, never in my life has that happened to me. Oh and he didn’t have a car so I picked him up.I told him I needed to use the bathroom and I left. Needless to say I never spoke to him again.

Gennifer: Yes, a guy asked me to pay, but soon as the check came he said..”i was just testing you” and then he paid. What turned me off about him wasn’t the fact that he asked me to pay, but the fact that he was testing me…playing these mind games instead of just getting to know a sista…

More on Madame Noire!

• Did You Know They Dated!? 11 Celebrity Couples You Might Have Forgotten About
• What Makes Me A Hoe? And Other Questions About How Women Are Unfairly Labelled
• Is It Time To Call Tyrone? 14 Ways To Know Whether Your Relationship Is Worth Fixing Or Nixing
• Loose Lipped Lovers: 10 Celeb Men Who Kiss & Tell
• We Love You Essence, But We’re Going To Need You To Get Some New Cover Subjects
• There’s Just Something About R. Kelly: Can We Hate The Sin, And Not The Sinner?
• Caught Up In College: A Cuffing Season Tale

shutterstock.com

Have you ever been on a date with a guy and wondered “Where the hell did this guy pick up his dating etiquette from?” First dates are where the real first impressions are made and they can either make or break what could be a blossoming relationship. Sadly, many men don’t even realize where they go wrong. Check out this list of things that most women wish to communicate to their potential suitors prior to our first date.

Source: Your Tango.com

From Your Tango.com

Ever wonder why your initial dates rarely lead to a great dating relationship? Find out if you’re unknowingly doing or saying 10 things to turn off a potential love match and discover what to do instead if you want to find great love and create a great relationship. Below are ten warning signs that you are a rude date and a few suggestions on what to do instead!

1. You’re late! You arrive late for a date or change plans last minute instead of honoring your date’s feelings and your commitment to be together as planned.
2. You’re distracted! You stare at attractive people who pass by or allow distractions of cell phones, text messages and/or silent vibes to interrupt your dating conversation instead of devoting your full attention to your date. Remember, where your attention goes your affection grows!
3. You lie! You exaggerate your accomplishments and dating goals in hopes of getting laid instead of being honest about your life resume or your desire for a casual fling, so that your date can decide if your life experiences and dating goals are a good match.

 More on Madame Noire!

• Bad Never Looked So Good: Fine Fictional Characters That Scared Us For Real
• Does Your Life Revolve Around Men?
• Transgender Woman On Trial For Second-Degree Murder After Homophobic Attack
• Beyond Boycotting: Star Jones Calling High-Profile Women To Take A Stand Against ‘BBW’
• Kimora Lee Simmons Launches New Skin Care Line
• Skincare Q&A: Photo Sensitivity, Combination Skin and Dark Circles
• Hit or Ms.: Do We Really Need to Have Respect for Adults?

You spend hours choosing the perfect outfit so you can make the best first impression.  You spend the afternoon racking your brain for witty topics of conversation.  Let’s not forget the location and activity can make the difference between the night from hell and one hell of a night.  Dating someone new can be an uncomfortable process in itself, so there’s no need for you to add fuel to the inferno.  By avoiding the following scenarios, you’ll give yourself a better chance at landing date number two:

Now that Hurricane Irene has officially ushered in cuffing season (that time of the year when everyone is booed up) you may find yourself going out on a few extra dates because everyone is looking for the next best thing they will never marry. Now common sense tells us that a not so hot first date is a telltale sign that you need not bark up said tree. But let’s be real, “Common sense ain’t common.”

So ladies, let’s look at a few first date red flags that should cancel out some would-be suitors, no matter how picky your girls think you’re being.