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I admit I enjoy the soap opera that is Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. This series is far from a “reality” program; however there are scenes in the show that provoke thought when it comes to issues that plague men and women every day. This past Monday’s episode left me scratching my head yet again, this time wondering: Why do “baby mamas” have this false sense of entitlement?

Let me fill you in on the background. A local ATL radio personality, Traci Steele, has a son with Chris Brown’s DJ, DJ Babey Drew.  Apparently he travels a lot working, leaving little time for him to spend with his son. In order to stay local, he decides to open a sneaker store and convinces Traci to invest $25,000 into “their” business. Traci insists that she’s giving him the money for their “family” but makes it a point to say that she doesn’t want any “groupie h*es” to “benefit” from her money – whatever that means.

She decides to pop by Drew’s house unannounced in order to give him the check he’s been asking for. Well, to her surprise (not that the producer’s had anything to do with it), she finds him there with a “random” girl and goes ballistic. Even though Drew reminds Traci that they are no longer together, it seems she thought her “investment” would keep them together as a family. She goes off on him, and the poor girl who was sitting there, and storms out. As Drew follows behind her trying to understand why she’s ripping up the check, she tearfully proclaims that she never wanted to be a “baby mama,” and that he made that choice for her.

And that is where I begin scratching my head. Huh?

Let me first say this post is not to bash single mothers. I prefer to use that term rather than “baby mama,” but since Traci referred to herself as such, I’ll just go with it. There are plenty of women who never chose to be single mothers, but are holding it down nonetheless and they deserve to be respected if they’re doing it all alone.

But to say that someone made you a “baby mama” is a bit dramatic. If you are dating a man and not married to him and decide to engage in unprotected sex, there is a chance you could become pregnant. It is a woman’s choice to engage in that behavior and to deal with the consequences. Drew didn’t make her a baby mama, she chose to be one. I’m not saying that women should get abortions or give up their children for adoption so that they can’t be labeled as a “baby mama,” and I’m also not suggesting that people run out and get married in order to legitimize their children. All I’m saying is everyone has a choice when it comes to having sex and having babies. No one forces anyone to do anything.

Now Traci,  that poor girl has unresolved issues. And unfortunately she isn’t the only one.

There are many women who feel that giving birth to a man’s child entitles them to the man himself. While I understand that many of them felt that they would get married, or at the very least stay together, a woman needs to understand that her status as “mother” is very different from her status as “significant other.” Once the romantic relationship ends, a woman can’t expect her child’s father to show her the same love, affection, or consideration that he would show a new love interest. The feelings simply aren’t there anymore, and if a woman still feels that he should put her first, rather than the child, then she is delusional.

There are a lot of baby mamas out there who feel that she and the child are a package deal. She may determine that if he doesn’t want her, then he can’t see or be with the child either. It’s sad, but true. She doesn’t just want him to be a father to their child. She also wants him to be her lover, her husband, her bank…her everything, even when he isn’t obligated to be anything other than a father and provider to his child(ren). The child’s mother feels this man owes her his life, when in fact all she is entitled to is his respect, his financial support for the child if she is the custodial parent, and his commitment to co-parent.

Traci’s problem, like so many other women in her situation, is she hasn’t let go and moved on. She probably felt that baby Drew was her insurance policy to keep Big Drew around. But the fact of the matter is if he doesn’t want you, no baby is going to change that. His responsibility is to his son, not to make Traci an honest woman. He doesn’t belong to her, and he can’t be bought with $25K. Traci thought she could buy a false sense of security, therefore making him feel like he “owes” her his loyalty or that he “belongs” to her somehow. Poor girl was sadly mistaken.

Ladies, if you feel that having a man’s baby should automatically make you a priority in his life, think again. His child should be his priority, and he has the right to move on once you are broken up. Relationships can end, and breaking up is hard to do. Letting go can be even more difficult. But once it’s over, you can’t expect him to be the partner you wanted him to be as far as a romantic involvement is concerned. You won’t get the same treatment you did before the relationship ended, and you shouldn’t expect it or “guilt” him into loving you the way he once did – if he ever did. It’s a hard pill to swallow I’m sure, but it’s time to grow up, move on and let go. He should be civil and respectful to you, and be willing to work with you to be a good parent – nothing more, nothing less. He can’t live his life tip toeing around you hoping that you won’t get hurt or angry. Put your big girl panties on, gain some closure and get over him. It’s a simple choice and not one that someone has to make for you.

Lil Wayne is a walking, talking, breathing baby factory. Well, not really. He only has four children. But when you take he fact that all four children are by different women into consideration, it just seems like he’s reproduced way more times than he actually has. One thing most people have to admit about the “High School” rapper is that he doesn’t make headlines to often for having “baby mama drama.” Instead he attracts media attention for how well his children’s mothers get along. Lauren London, however, says that she’s sick of talking about it because it’s not as big of a deal as people make it out to be. The Game actress the cover girl for an upcoming issue of Jet and during her interview, with the mag, she expressed her frustration over people’s infatuation with the relationships she has with her son’s siblings and their mothers.

“People like to make it into this big thing, but it’s really not. There’s peace and love and my son knows his siblings. We all get along. We all clearly keep getting along. I’m tired of talking about it. What else do you want me to say?” The Game actress told the magazine.

She also says she’s pretty “blunt” when it comes to untrue things being said about her.

“I’m very blunt and honest. I have a very loyal heart. If I love you, I ride for you if I don’t f*** with you, I don’t f*** with you…If you want the truth, call me.”

What do you think? Are people making a big deal about all of this?

Source(s): News One, KHOU

It’s never a good thing when two women who mother children by the same man have it out for one another, but when both women are pregnant, it’s an absolute recipe for disaster. An expectant mom, who is four months into her pregnancy, Alise Kelly has suffered two broken legs and a foot amputation allegedly at the hands of her boyfriend Christopher Chaney’s ex-girlfriend , Sharyell Hunter, who is also five months pregnant with Chaney’s child, reports KHOU.

21-year-old Kelly was at home with Chaney when 26-year-old Hunter showed up at the couple’s Houston home. Kelly is said to have approached Hunter, which resulted in an explosive argument outside of the home. Chaney is said to have been asleep at the time of Hunter’s pop-up visit, but claims that he was awakened by the loud commotion coming from outside.

When police later arrived on the scene, Chaney told police that he saw Kelly punch Hunter’s car window as she was seated inside. Chaney says Hunter then put her foot on the gas, hitting Kelly with the car and  pinning her between the vehicle and the house. Eyewitnesses say 21-year-old Kelly cried out in pain, expressing that she felt a burning sensation.

“[She was screaming] ‘It hurts, it’s burning and her baby,’” a neighbor expressed.

“And I was like, ‘She’s pregnant,’ and that’s when I seen her leg twisted.”

Kelly was treated at a nearby hospital for two broken legs. She also had to have one of her feet amputated as a result of her injury. Thankfully, Kelly’s baby is expected to be okay. Chaney, however, appears to have found amusement in the violent occurrence.

“They just don’t like each other. I don’t know if it’s because of me or what,” Chaney told KHOU.

When asked by a reporter “Do you think it’s because of you getting them pregnant?” Chaney responded:

“I mean, I am handsome,” before releasing a slight grin, as if the thought of two women fighting over him was something to be proud of.

Did I mention that he was on his cell phone while he was being interviewed by reporters? To make matters worse, Chaney already fathers four children by two other women. The birth of Hunter’s child will make five and Kelly’s will make six.

Hunter is currently on the run from Houston police.

Absolutely disgraceful.

Turn the page to watch news footage of the incident.

Source: Twitter

Brittni Mealy, model, business owner and alleged mother of rapper Future’s 2-month-old son recently sat down with the YBF to discuss the difficult time that  the rapper has given her since he signed his record deal, in addition to his refusal to assist in the co-parenting of their son. During her interview, she also revealed some rather interesting details about the rapper, including how he disconnects from his babies’ mothers after the child is born and why she thinks Ciara should watch her back. Check out some of what she had to say.

On Future turning into a different person after he got signed:

 ”I even remember the day he got signed, he called so excited and said “Bae my dream just came true!” But, of course, his dream became my nightmare. With his success, came the lies, the cheating, the deceit. He stopped coming home every night. The more successful he got, the more comfortable he was with mistreating me and disrespecting our home. I even found out he had another family 4 miles away on the same street we had moved on! I didn’t end the relationship when I found out, because I was in too deep in love and he promised he was getting rid of the other “situation” as he called it…when the time was right. ”

“I know the real “him”, the part she [Ciara]  doesn’t know. They are just “honeymooning” right now. Everything always seems perfect in the beginning.”

On Future fathering 3 children by 3 different women:

“I knew about his kids, he has never disowned any of them. But, I do think 3 kids by 3 different women is a pattern of some sort. He obviously loves the mothers, but something about adding a kid to the equation changes things for him.”

On being able to support her son on her own:

“Yes, I am perfectly capable of taking care of my son by myself but, why should I have to?? He is OUR son and Future should do his part! We were together when we conceived our child. And, although we aren’t now, I feel like we can co-parent, live our lives apart and take care of our child without there being any “BEEF”.”

On Future cursing out her mother:

“He made a phone call to my mom (obviously feeling like he can still control what I do, even though we are not together anymore ). My mom has always been kind to him and usually defends him. Because, I refused to speak to him…he proceeded to curse at my mother and call her out of her name! I was upset and emotional because, I am raising our newborn son and he has stopped assisting me with his care and now, he thinks he can disrespect my mother. It was too much. My son and my mother are dear to me. And, he crossed the line. We simply don’t deserve to be treated that way. “

On subliminal Twitter “beef” with Ciara:

“No! No twitter beef!  I tweeted two words HAS BEEN and the world and the media took it and ran with it! Apparently, they wanted to associate her with being a has been. That is NOT what I said. I think she subliminally replied, feeding into their negative energy. I stopped tweeting because, I don’t have the time or energy to entertain an imaginary “beef”. Bye to all that!”

What is your take on all of this?

Jazmine Denise is a news writer for Madame Noire. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise.

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Not long ago, MN posted a piece on things to look for in a man to determine if he’d make a good father. Well ladies, it’s your turn. Most men with baby mama drama are baffled when they procreate with the bride of Satan, claiming they had no idea she was crazy and deranged. Just like us, men can be blind to the crazy when they’re in love or most likely, lust. Maybe he would notice the red flags if he wasn’t so busy looking at the big butt and a smile. If you’re seeing a woman who has any of the following traits, make sure to wrap it up because she just might turn out to be a crazy baby mama.

Source: WENN

Being dragged to court by baby mamas is no strange occurence to men in the entertainment industry. In fact, it almost seems as if having baby mama drama is some type of clause that is built into their talent contracts. But, having drama with an almost baby mama? Well, that’s something new; something that singer and songwriter Ne-Yo can tell us all about.

TMZ is reporting that a woman named Jesseca White is threatening to sue her ex-boyfriend, Ne-Yo due to issues relating to a child that the two almost had together. How do two people almost have a child you ask? Well it seems that back when Jesseca and Ne-Yo were an item, Jesseca gave birth to a child whom Ne-Yo believed was his. In 2009 he found out that it wasn’t, but only after paying Jesseca $575,000 in a settlement agreement and signing the baby’s birth certificate did she confess that the child wasn’t his.

Considering how ugly the situation was they both agreed to a confidentiality clause, which prohibited them from ever publicly discussing what happened. They both did a pretty decent job upholding their ends of the bargain, until now that is. Ne-Yo recently opened up regarding his bout with baby mama drama during his September 2012 VH1 Behind The Music special where he expressed how distraught and heartbroken he was over the paternity nightmare.

Since the airing of the show, Jesseca has hired high-profile attorney Gloria Allred and is threatening to file a lawsuit against the singer claiming that his revelation during the special was defaming to her because it depicted her as “a harlot who lied, broke his heart and then vanished” and has subjected her to much ridicule and harassment. A letter from the attorney also claims that Jesseca has been so distraught and mentally tortured over Ne-Yo’s comments that she has been unable to work, had to file for state aid and is even suffering from intense “nausea, vomiting and hair loss”.

Catch this though, she’s claiming that she hopes she and Ne-Yo can settle things amicably in court, otherwise she has no choice but to sue him.

This is probably one of the most off-the-wall things I’ve ever heard, but I’m sure it isn’t the first time something like this has happened. Honestly, it seems like she should be the one paying Ne-Yo, not the other way around. But, a binding contract is a binding contract and if Ne-Yo actually agreed to never go public with the information, then he just may have to pay up.

What do you think? Is Jesseca completely delusional and looking for another come-up or was Ne-Yo wrong for publicly discussing the situation after he agreed not to?

Jazmine Denise is a news writer for madamenoire.com. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise

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Being in a relationship with a man who has children with another woman may not be an easy thing to navigate, especially if there’s baby mama drama involved. If you have no children of your own, you could feel isolated in your interactions between him, his children and his ex. While this may not be a perfect or ideal situation or you never thought you’d find yourself in this type of relationship, there are ways to make it work, even if there’s conflict involved. If you want the drama to be kept to a minimum, even if the baby’s mama hates you, here are some things to try to keep your relationship strong and your sanity in tact.

Read the rest of this entry »

ubnation.com

Ladies, have you ever met a guy who you thought to be the man of your dreams until he dropped a load on you such as “I have five kids” or “My wife and I are separated, but we still live together”? Did you take the optimistic route and say to yourself, “Hey, no one is perfect,” or did you politely excuse yourself and save his number under “Don’t Answer”? Almost every woman has a list of deal breakers that she vows to never ever tolerate from a man. But, what if the guy is rich, I mean racks on racks on racks rich, or famous? Do those rules still apply? The following men seem to keep drama, a load of women, baby mothers and craziness in their lifestyle, but women still flock to be with them. Could you date them?

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Eddie Murphy

One can’t mention comedy without the great Eddie Murphy coming to mind. This funny man has been responsible for having us doubled over in stitches for ages. What has many giggling these days, however, is his up and down love life. His first marriage ended in divorce, but resulted in five children. In addition to the five children that he had with his wife, he also fathered two other children, not to mention a daughter with former Spice Girl, Mel B (a little girl he denied for a long while). While we’re on the subject, we can’t forget about his fake “symbolic” marriage to Tracy Edmonds that lasted all of 16 days. Murphy is now said to be dating “106 & Park” host Rosci. Ladies, could you date a guy with 8 kids, 4 baby mamas, and a turbulent dating history such as this one?

msdramatv.com

Chris Bosh may be a member of a championship basketball team but his ex-girlfriend and mother of his child is dead set on exposing him as somewhat of a deadbeat dad.

The initial battle began earlier in the year when Chris took his ex, Allison Mathis, to court in an attempt to have the courts allow their daughter Trinity to attend the All-Star Weekend festivities with him.  Mathis responded by saying that at just three years old, there was no need to be around that environment; a judge agreed with her. Most recently, they were in court again because Bosh wanted to be allowed to take Trinity with him to London during the Summer Olympics to see him play, as he is a member of the U.S. team.  Alexis felt that because of the heightened security alert and threats of terrorism, it would not be smart for Trinity to be there.  After hearing both sides of the argument, a judge ruled in favor of Allison, citing that there would not be anyone there to really watch her (Bosh actually just pulled out of the Olympics due to a rehab injury).

Now, Allison has taken to digital media.  She recently spoke on camera to Rhymes With Snitch about all the trouble she’s been having with Bosh as it pertains to their daughter. She states that since losing her job due to layoffs, she is about to lose her home and has also applied for government assistance. Mathis says she cannot understand why she only receives $2.700 per month in child support when Chris makes $18 million per year as a member of the Miami Heat.

For his part, Bosh’s attorneys have responded to this video in a letter to Mathis’ attorney stating that what she failed to also mention was that Bosh pays for all of Trinity’s medical and dental bills, all preschool expenses as well as developmental and extracurricular activities and finally, he’s set up a college trust fund for their daughter.  None of these things were mandated by the court when he was ordered to pay $2,7oo month. Additionally, his lawyers said she failed to mention that he gave her $250,000 in 2010.  They go on to say that Bosh will not be intimidated by her campaign to extort him and that his efforts are to provide for his child, not her mother.  They requested that she have any videos taken down immediately and are also threatening to sue her for invasion of privacy because in the video she added a personal moment between she and Chris when he learned she was pregnant.

This is messy.  On one hand, you can see why Allison feels she should have better in this situation since Chris makes so much money. Oh, I failed to mention that Allison said Chris asked her to have a baby when they were together and the proposal would soon follow.  However, on Chris’ side of things, the courts have spoken and he’s paying the amount they ordered him to pay.  But when you add in everything else he’s paying for, that racks up to way more than $2,700 a month.

What do you think? Should Chris, as the father, help Allison find proper housing and give more money so that they won’t have to be on public assistance?  Should Allison just find a job and be content with what she’s already being given?

stylebistro.com

Hey loves!  The celebs left me with some nice tidbits to share with you guys: there’s movie news, wedding bells, baby news and more! The wrap-up wouldn’t be complete without a little drama, right? Right. Check it out!