All Articles Tagged "babies"
Dear Dr. Sherry,
My father is very excited because I’m eight months pregnant with his first grandchild, a baby girl. He’s already making plans to babysit and spend time with her. While I appreciate his enthusiasm, my issue is that I don’t have a relationship with my stepmother—it doesn’t go beyond pleasantries whenever were see each other. My dad cheated on my mom with her and subsequently married her years later when I was a teenager. My mom passed away last year. I know of many paternal relatives who would expect me to see my stepmother as my child’s grandmother, but I just don’t feel it’s right. After all, they always told me to accept her as my own mother even when my own was alive. I don’t trust her because she and my dad caused my family so much pain. My dad will always be my dad so I must strive to maintain a relationship with him. I’d prefer my dad to interact with my child in my territory because I don’t want a bond to form between my child and his wife. If anyone will be called “grandma” on my side, it will be my maternal aunts. I don’t know how to explain this to my dad, and my husband thinks I’m being too strict. If we happen to visit my dad, his wife may interact with the child some, but I’d never want to leave my daughter with both of them because knowing their dynamic, she would provide most of the care and have influence over her. If it’s just my dad, it’s a different case.
Am I overreacting?
Protective Mother, Cautious Daughter
Read Dr.Sherry’s response at Essence.com
Everybody loves a cute kid and there’s no shortage of those on the Internet. Check out a roundup of our favorites!
“Oh That’s Vine!”
Like this little girl who is super excited to be on social media.
Raising children isn’t child’s play but being one is. Children experience their world through play. Play is the basis of learning in the primary years of life. Play stimulates healthy brain development, language skills, emotional expression, physical and cognitive ability. Cognitive development is the brain’s ability to process new information, think reasonably, problem solve, remember and relate what you learned to what you know about the world.
Letting our children go wild with playing can mean a messier home, spills, more dirty clothes to clean and sometimes even cut knees and scraped chins we need to tend to. All of that sounds like more work for moms and it is. But it is essential to allow our children to play and to join them in their play sometimes. If your child is not naturally motivated to play or you find yourself constantly discouraging playtime, you have a problem. When parents understand what play means to children and what it looks like, they become more inclined to support the playing process. So, here is a guide to help you help them.
Newborns and Infants: The youngest of babies experience everything as play. Changing diapers, smiling at family, being fed and carried, holding a small toy, being sung to, watching mom move around the room–it’s all play to them. When you see your baby staring at you or grabbing or throwing an object, that’s play too! Join in the fun, follow their lead and copy their actions. Be sure to offer sound, space (to lay, roll, kick and throw), diverse environments (home, park, bus, store, sunshine) and varied texture (carpet vs. wood floors, hard vs. plush toys, bath water vs. raindrops).
Crawling and Cruising Toddlers: These almost-walking children are mastering physical control as they learn balance, coordination and muscle control. It is a very exciting time because they are becoming confident explorers! They are now interested in toys that have many possibilities like big chunky stacking toys, wooden blocks, nesting cups, shape sorters and toys for water and sand play. These are all toys that will keep your toddler engaged in creative imaginative play for hours a day.
Walking and Talking Toddlers: Items that promote imagination and imitation like cellphones, TV remotes, keys and your high-heeled shoes become their toys of choice. Now is the time to put all important items in the house away and turn your home into one big child’s playroom. Let them play themselves into exhaustion. This is the perfect time to add things Play-Doh, scooters, crayons, finger paints, mini basketball hoops, dress up clothes and little tents to their toy chest. It is good to allow your children to play with toys across genders and generations. Rotary telephones, astronaut suits and feather boas are good for the imagination of both boys and girls, so try not to restrict them.
All of this play can feel like work to moms but it is worth it to try and be creative about how you make time to get involved in your child’s play. You and your child can play clean-up games while you are actually cleaning or let them help you cook and have a picnic in their room at dinnertime.
There will come a time when schoolwork, practicing a craft and writing a top-notch essay for college take precedence over play but early childhood is now is not that time. The first few years of life are essential to who your child will become and how they will get there. Supporting and encouraging play is the single most important gift you can give your child.
Gosh, there are just as many fashionable choices in baby booties as there are in adult shoes. Whoa! Get ready to gush over these utterly adorable shoes ranging from Mini Mouse themes to rainbow colors.
You spot a cute baby on the train, and you simply can’t keep your cool. You lean toward the stroller, you ask the mother inane questions, you gibber at the child, and then you touch on that child’s hands as if your hands are clean (or as if their hands aren’t covered in stickiness). You’re crazy…baby crazy. The child’s mother can see it and so can everyone else. Before you take that baby fever home, consider the consequences of “forgetting” to take your pill, or deciding that you wouldn’t really mind being a mom sooner than later.
So much ought to be mulled over before making the leap towards parenthood. You have to consider your finances, your relationship, your support network, your mental health, your job, your social life, and also your body. Yes, lots of people begin a family with a ‘surprise’ child or ‘love’ child, but that doesn’t make it an ideal situation, especially when you consider the financial state that most people are in nowadays. Likewise, planning to get pregnant without making any actual plans for after your pregnancy is far worse than an unexpected pregnancy because it reads as irresponsible; ironic because of the stellar amount of responsibilities being introduced. And this is sometimes done haplessly because of fear or expectations. Individuals place a well of responsibility on an unborn child, expecting that having a baby will fix their relationships, will make them feel loved, or give them something that they’ve been missing in their lives.
Before you and your boyfriend (or whoever the guy who may be) make the decision to have children of your own, commit yourself to spending time with other people’s children. As a running experiment, try to spend time with children of different age groups at that, from infant to pre-teen. The mistake that a lot of women/couples make is that they seem to think that their child is going to be a baby forever, when the truth is that children sprout up faster than you could ever expect. Preparing for a baby when you should be preparing for a growing child is a sure way to get in over your head rather quickly. Babies just don’t sit and sleep. They cry, they grow up, and they possibly become like those “other” kids you find on the train…
And perhaps you’re like me: Suddenly, half of the people that you attended college, high school, or even grade school with, have married and/or had a baby as recently as yesterday. To top that off, their Facebook pages seem to indicate that they’re living the ideal life. Their job is on point, living situation is on point, health is in check, and obviously their love life seems to echo the same sentiments. Nonetheless, while it isn’t to say that their lives are a farce, they’re usually exaggerated for mass consumption (aka, social media bragging), so don’t let anyone’s apparent successes hurt your self-esteem or fool you. This is chiefly because emotionally, financially, and physically, you may be in a completely different place, and not necessarily prepared to have a child in your life, a marriage, or more responsibilities than the ones already on your plate.
Let the merging of you and your boyfriend’s image on the screen of your laptop as it morphs into a conceptual illustration of your child satisfy you in the meantime. While you’re lucky enough to have time to plan for the child you want, plan for that child. Put money aside for when that day comes, and also, put together a “Pre-pregnancy” fund to help with financial responsibilities before and after the child is born. And because there are plenty of things that you won’t be able to do when that child finally does comes along, enjoy your time with your partner, or better yet, with yourself, while you can.
Is there something in Europe’s water? Last month an enormous baby was born in Germany, and now Maria Lorena Marin is tipping the scales and almost 14 pounds. And this Spanish baby arrived the natural way. Yikes.
The Huffington Post reports mom Maxime and her doctors at Hospital Marina Salud knew her baby would be big but she wasn’t expecting her new arrival to be quite so big. And at 13.67 pounds, she was definitely big. Amazingly, Maxime delivered her daughter with no help at all–not even an epidural.
Photo: Hospital Marina Salud
Your bundle of joy, your little sweetheart is healthy, has all his fingers and toes–and is busted. At least, that’s what the Daily Mail says a fifth of new parents think. That’s right. That wrinkled, purple little face doesn’t immediately make parents’ hearts sing for joy and friends kinda think the same thing, though only about 10 percent would actually say that out loud. Does this sound like you? It’s okay. No one wants to admit that, and only 8 percent of new mothers actually discuss their disappointment with their partners.
In a poll of 1,000 users, PromotionalCodes.org.uk got down to how parents really feel about their new babies’ looks, and the truth? Well, it wasn’t pretty. An anonymous dad said,
“Everyone seems to think they have the most beautiful baby on earth and as a new parent you feel you have to say the same even if you privately believe your baby is ugly.
My daughter is three now and she is gorgeous but when she arrived she was the most disgusting little thing I’d ever seen. She had a face only a mother could love, but even my wife admitted she was ugly.”
Both a spokesman for the website and the anonymous father wanted to stress, however, that loving your baby is very, very different from thinking she’s beautiful. She may not be ready for a Huggies commercial (yet) but that doesn’t mean you don’t want to love and protect that little thing more than you ever thought possible.
As for the 82 percent of you that said your newborn was the cutest thing you’d ever seen? Some of you are probably lying.
Yesterday we reported on the latest baby fashion craze, baby wigs, designed to provide a head full of hair to babies up to nine months old, in keeping with the product creator’s philosophy that they “believe in the beauty of childhood.” But if you are not about your baby’s hair being laid, fear not, you can still keep up with the Jones! Your daughter or son will be the most gangsta baby at playtime with grillz pacifiers. Yes, you read that right.
The creator of Grillz Pacifer, Billy-Bob Products, states:
” Don’t let the fact that your baby has no teeth hold it back from expressing its inner balla’! So maybe he or she can’t even walk yet, but your baby was born to be iced out! So give your little one a Grillz Pacifier! “
Trust us, we wish we were joking about this.
The product can be found on the internet only (no surprise) and the price ranges from seven to ten dollars. While the product is certainly silly at the very least, it also represents a misappropriation of black culture. On one vendor’s website, a commenter posted: “Hey, something is wrong. The baby is not black” regarding the child who is modeling the grillz pacifier. This type of comment stems from the media based images that are projected through hip-hop. Although grillz are a popular accessory for adults of a certain ilk, it should not be for babies under any circumstances. This not only is not funny, it’s just not cute. There are plenty of more important accessories babies need in their lives, like diapers and bottles. Let’s work on providing those.
Will you be purchasing grillz pacifiers for your child or the next baby shower? Let us know!
Maybe it’s more economical to move to South Africa if you’re expecting a bundle of joy. Statistics show that South African mothers pay $2,035 for delivering a child while U.S. mothers spend $9,755 for childbirth. Americans, according to the Seattle Times, spend the most on newborn care than any other nation in the world.
Expenses for delivering children have tripled over the last 20 years, says a study by Truven Health Analytics. With the hefty costs of pregnancy, childbirth, and infant care, the bill accumulates to more than $50 million for all U.S. deliveries. Medicaid programs and most insurers disburse the most cash for “maternity and newborn care”, added Seattle Times.
You would think that with such a high price tag on maternity care, American mothers would have access to advanced technological services than other nations, but this does not seem to be the case. Studies have shown that citizens of other developed countries “do not have less access to care or to high-tech care during the pregnancy than Americans do,” it added.
Compared to other countries, the average American woman pays more for childbirth because they undergo the same hospital services more often. Women in the U.S. “tend to get more of everything, necessary or not, from blood tests to ultrasound scans”, said Katy Kozhimannil, a professor who studies the cost of women’s health care at the University of Minnesota.
Obstetricians once performed ultrasounds for patients in their office for a flat fee. Currently, they charge extra for the service or refer clients to radiologists who have much higher rates. (The New York Times did a big story last month about what drives up the pricing for procedures in the US, in that case, a colonoscopy.)
Studies show that in 2011, 62 percent of women in the U.S. who had private insurance plans — not sponsored by an employer — did not have coverage for pregnancy and newborn care. Even women who did have plans that covered their maternity needs were swamped by demands for higher co-pays and deductibles. According to a survey conducted by Childbirth Connection, expecting mothers pay an average of $3,400 in out-of-pocket costs.
From 2004 to 2010, the Truven study found that the out-of-pocket expenses quadrupled.
“In most other developed countries, comprehensive maternity care is free or cheap”, Seattle added. “Ireland for example, guarantees free maternity care at public hospitals, though women can opt for private deliveries for a fee.”
Pervasive use of midwives in Europe is another reason why other developed countries are not breaking the bank to deliver children. In America, obstetricians are seen as more of a necessity, but in Europe they are seen as specialists “who step in only when there is a risk or need,” Seattle Times added.
Midwives deliver 68 percent of British births; only eight percent of midwives deliver babies in the U.S.
Earlier we posted photos of how some celeb fathers spent their Sunday kicking it with the kids or honoring their own fathers. But a little later we discovered this little gem.
Marilee Holmes, TJ Holmes’ wife, posted this picture of he and their daughter Sabine. When she posted the pic, she included this caption.
“Happy Father’s Day…I will never grow tired of watching @tjholmes share moments with our daughter.”
Isn’t this little girl the cutest?! With her long eyelashes. Adorable!
If you just can’t get enough of this little one, check out the second image on the next page.