All Articles Tagged "Attitude"
When you open the gates of conversation with Denzel Washington, there’s a chance he might say something that’ll make you say, “Well, alright now!”
During a recent trip to London to promote his most recent film, Flight, Denzel spoke with The Guardian about his role and how he got into the business. As they further discussed his character and his relationship with God, the reporter noted that it must be interesting to be a Christian actor (as Denzels says he is) living in a place like Hollywood. That clearly piqued his interest because he told the reporter he was confusing the glitz and glamour ( and bs) of Hollywood with the city of Los Angeles. He continued:
“But actually, even within the industry, I don’t have any actor friends. My friends are old friends. One’s an ex-music guy, the other’s a restaurant owner and the other’s an ex-pro ballplayer.”
That’s not even the good part. Here’s what he had to say about why he doesn’t have any actor friends:
“Because I don’t make friends! Maybe I’m not a butt-kisser, maybe I’m not a schmoozer. I’m not about to go to a party to try to get a job. And then when you have children, the other friends become other parents. We’d coach baseball or basketball. My wife and I were raised right. I don’t want movie-star friends. And being African American, there were no big movie stars to hang out with anyway, not when I was starting out, they were just the third guy from the back! For whatever reason, I never befriended any white actors.”
Listen, when you’re an actor’s actor and can transform yourself into any role given to you, it seems you are able to fully be yourself when you’re not working and everyone will just deal with it. He is not here for the shenanigans that he’s known since the 80s that the entertainment industry brings. He wants no parts of it and it clearly hasn’t bothered any directors because he’s held down a job since about 1983.
But Denzel knows that he’s major…right? I mean, the ladies have been loving him since…maybe A Soldier’s Story? Well, he doesn’t subscribe to the whole celebrity thing either:
“I’m a working actor! What’s a celebrity anyway? Paris Hilton’s a celebrity. I’m just a working actor.”
Indeed. I wonder will his daughter Olivia, who he took as his date to the Golden Globes Awards to seemingly introduce her to the other movers and shakers of the industry, have the same attitude if she reaches a certain level of success.
What do you think of Denzel’s comments?
It’s a tough economy, so everyone who has a job is trying to hold on to it. (At least until they can find something better.) Business Insider has outlined “three types of people you should fire right away” and at the top of the list is, naturally, the person who doesn’t give a hoot about the job. That’s a no-brainer.
Number two is what the writer calls “all effort, no results.” This is an unfortunate situation. “They are totally sincere, but incapable (or no longer capable) of doing the job that needs to get done,” says Business Insider.
Alternatively, when someone is trying but failing, there could be something else going on that has nothing to do with the employee. For instance, if you’re in sales where hard numbers are all that matter, poor results could be the result of a territory or business category that isn’t a good fit for the company. If you’re selling coats and your territory is Southern California, you’ve been set up for failure. In that case, it’s important to keep the lines of communication open with managers and executives. When you sense that things are going south, share ideas for turning things around. In that case, you may even have the opportunity to create a new and enjoyable opportunity for yourself.
The final type is the “poor fit.” This is the person whose style or manner of working isn’t in keeping with the way the business operates. Most people, sensing that they’re in the wrong environment, will usually seek out a new job rather than wait around to get fired. If you’re in a job where you get the feeling everyone knows what time it is and you’re consistently an hour late, it’s likely a cultural problem. And this is not to be taken lightly. We spend 40-plus hours with our colleagues each week. No one wants to be around someone they don’t get along with, can’t work with, or seems awkward and out of place. It’s important to go with your gut and get out while the gettings good if necessary.
Another person that we would add to the list of those who will get the heave-ho: the person with the attitude problem. This person comes to work with an attitude, grumbles while they eat their lunch, and then mumbles a harsh “good-bye” on their way out the door in the evening. All of this for seemingly no reason. Again, no one wants to work with someone they don’t like. Moreover, if a person isn’t happy, the company is of the mind that that person isn’t really doing their best. You don’t have to walk around with a silly grin on your face, but you can’t be perpetually angry either.
And finally, there’s the person who has memorized their job description and follows it to the letter. This person won’t do anything that isn’t outlined on the HR document they signed the day they accepted their position. If they do, it’s only after a long and difficult conversation in which they’ve been told that no one else is available to take care of this task.
The problem with this attitude, especially now, is that companies are working with smaller staffs. Positions are being eliminated, severe cuts are being made. It’s a given that workers are being called upon to do more because there are fewer hands. In the end, these added tasks are the things you add to the list you bring in to your manager when you’re ready to ask for a promotion or a raise. If it’s gets out of hand and you feel you’re being taken advantage of, start sending out your resume.
What other type of worker would you add to this list?
It’s that time of year, again. Cool air mixing in with summer heat and the flock of yellow school buses clogging up your morning commute can only mean one thing: back-to-school season is upon us.
One of the drawbacks of adulthood (right below not having a summer vacation) is missing out on the fresh start that comes with a new school year. But just because you’re all grown up doesn’t mean you can’t take advantage of the new energy this time of year gives students. Reliving these childhood rituals can give you the fresh start going back to school brings.
1. New Clothes
Back to school shopping takes on a whole new meaning when you’re a teenager. It wasn’t just about buying clothes; it was about creating an image. Clothes change how others view you and how you view yourself. It’s as true today as it was in high school. The stores are already rolling out fall fashions. Splurge on a new jacket or a versatile outfit that captures your vision for fall.
2. New Lunchbox… And Diet to Match
Take it back to elementary school and ditch the grocery bag for a cute lunchbox your younger self would be proud of. While you’re at, take the time to reevaluate what you put in it. There’s no need to wait until New Year’s to start eating right. There are all types of bags and containers to accommodate healthier food options.
3. New Office Supplies
Something about a fresh notebook sets my heart aflutter. It may sound kooky, but a blank notebook always makes me optimistic; it’s a literal blank slate. Get rid of the baggage from this summer’s workload by replacing dried out ink pens, messy notebooks, and broken supplies with new tools for your trade. Have a little fun with bright colors and designs that perk up your workspace.
4. Decorate Your Space
The holy grail of high school was getting your own locker, and decorating your space was not to be half-stepped. Apply that sense of pride to your office. You spend most of your day there, anyway. Decorate your workspace with images that inspire and energize you.
5. New Schedule
You may not be able to switch homerooms anymore, but you can spice up your routine. Try taking a later lunch to miss the midday rush. Or institute your own free period. A quick walk around the block during the second half the day can do wonders for your mood.
Sometimes, I wonder if I would lead a much more satisfied life if I deactivated my social media accounts — Twitter and Facebook especially.
Don’t get me wrong, I love social media. What I don’t love is the power it can wield over my mood when I least expect it.
I first noticed this phenomena during my Senior year of college. I was having a great day, rushing through classes and looking forward to meeting my best friend for lunch. I stopped by the school library to print off a term paper and mindlessly clicked through Facebook. There on my newsfeed was an old classmate posing in a picture with a guy I had recently stopped dating. I could tell from the background that they were at a popular mall in my hometown and I was absolutely devastated. The picture was nothing in and of itself – just two people standing side-by-side smiling. It wasn’t clear why they were taking a picture, when the picture was taken or who took it. Unfortunately for me, the facts surrounding the photo were largely left up to my wild speculations. Obviously, I could have assumed they were old friends who bumped into each other at the mall and decided to take a picture. Instead, I decided they were on a date, probably one of many, and that he was in love with her and not thinking about me anymore. My mood went from 100 to 0 in about 45 seconds and whatever conversations I’d planned to have with my best friend at lunch that day were totally eclipsed by my need to talk about the picture and figure out what it meant.
Another (decidedly less emotional) instance happened only a few months ago. I had just run four miles straight – my longest distance ever. Breathless and excited, I shared my feat with my Twitter followers. As soon as I pressed send, I scrolled through my Timeline and came across another Tweeps status announcing: “Just ran 10 miles. Easy Saturday” and my entire countenance fell.
Those instances are only two of the (way too many) times I’ve allowed what I read on social media to make me feel bad about my own life. Enamored by other’s success and blessings, I either minimize or completely forget about my own.
Twitter and Facebook are great tools to keep up with friends, hear about the news, complain about poor customer service and talk to the occasional celebrity who tweets or Facebooks back, but it can also be detrimental to self-esteem and personal satisfaction. At least, this is true in my case. Some days, I find myself scrolling through my Timeline or looking at my Facebook newsfeed and playing the comparison game: I just got married, but she passed the bar; or she got a promotion at work, but I lost ten pounds; or I got an iPhone but he got an iPad, the list goes on and on. Of course, there are no winners in the comparison game. The only result is to be repulsively bitter or impossibly vain…or both at the same time. Still, it is a constant struggle to keep from playing this lose-lose game.
The thing is, Facebook and Twitter are basically platforms for everyone you care about (and don’t care about) to broadcast their lives. And, besides those people who don’t seem to have a single good thing to say about themselves, most people only announce the positive. The amount of grandstanding on these sites is incredible. Everyone does it though, including me. I get annoyed by all the “I just got my Master’s/JD/Doctorate!!!” shrill graduation posts, but have no problem tweeting about having #TheBestHusbandEver. I don’t Tweet or Facebook to promote envy in anyone else, but it can be hard for me not to let other’s posts promote envy in me…even when (especially when) I don’t know the Facebook friends or Twitter followers in real life.
I think the key to not letting social media get the best of me is to use it in moderation. When I do use it, I need to practice self-awareness and resist viewing everyone as some sort of competitor in the “Who’s Happier, More Accomplished, and More Likely to Succeed in Life” contest. Just as I know that I tend to post positive things and glaze over the negative, others tend to do the same thing and just because someone is having a great day doesn’t mean I’m having a horrible life. Further, I’ve found that if I am focusing on the things in my life that I want to improve and taking the necessary steps to improve them, then I will be less inclined (and have less time) to look around on social media to see what everyone else is doing.
What do you think? Do you compare your life to those you follow on Twitter or friend on Facebook?
Alissa Henry is a freelance writer living in Columbus, OH. Follow her on Twitter @AlissaInPink
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When we see some people play a character in movies or television shows we think, “They’re really good at what they do.” But then there are others who might also be good at what they do because they tend to always play similar roles or they have similar character traits that make us say, “I wonder if this is how they are in real life.”
Check out these actors who seem to put a dose of their true selves into their work…
So in typical Wendy Williams fashion, she threw a little shade at Sherri Shepherd and her “Dancing with the Stars” performance yesterday, except Wendy didn’t really have anything to say about how Sherri danced, she was more concerned with how she acted.
After questioning why Sherri “let them [put] you in all that material,” referring to her dress for Monday night’s competition, and saying Sherri absolutely will not win the competition, Wendy decided to drop a little advice, being an ex-DWTS cast member herself. Here’s what she said:
“I have to say, Sherri, You know when you’re talking to the camera and not doing the dancing…Sherri, you were giving them everything they want to see from us black girls—that loud talk, the gaping laugh…don’t let them do that to you, Sherri.”
Wendy added that the producers of the show tried to pressure her to act like that when she was a contestant.
“I explained to you guys what they actually wanted from me. They wanted me to be all black girl—’oh no she did, oh yes she, oh no. Tony—you is not going to make me dance like that no mo!’ Really? I’m not that girl.”
Since I don’t watch Dancing with the Stars, I tried to find to find a clip to prove Wendy’s point, and while I kind of see where she’s coming from, I honestly don’t think Sherri seems any different from how she is on “The View.” I don’t know what that means exactly, but I’m thinking Wendy might just be hatin’ (again).
Check out this clip of Sherri’s interview after her performance and tell us what you think. Does Wendy have a point?
Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.
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We’ve all had that moment where we were having a bad day (or week) and lost our marbles on somebody on the train, somebody at work, or sadly, somebody at home (actually, all cases are pretty sad). It might have even been a whole lot of attitude that happened to show up when your mother asked you to do something–I’m sure she set you straight. However, if you lose your marbles with people like this on the regular and that’s the reputation attached to you, then that’s a problem. Nobody likes nor cares for the “angry black woman” stereotype, but rage is real, and you can’t be out on the streets releasing it on any ‘ol body who looks at you cross, steps on your shoe, or happens to wheel into the long a** checkout line at Target with a cart full of mess right as you were trying to get in it with two items. If you don’t get your temper in order, believe me, you’ll be doing more damage to yourself than the people you’re losing your mind over.
The word victim has a unique connotation to it. In some ways it places total blame on an outside source for one’s circumstances while in others it implies weakness—something no black woman wants to be associated with. When we look at the headlines about black women that catch our attention, they’re often sensational and allow little room for understanding—like Amber Cole. Or we’re not present at all because we seemingly don’t matter—these are the countless black women you don’t hear went missing until their bodies pop up and the case turns from missing person to homicide.
But do we allow any room for black women as victims ourselves? In many comments overheard in public or read online, there’s usually an attitude of “what is she crying about,” or “girl, get over it,” “move on,” “let it go,” “It’s not that serious,” attached to stories about black women who are facing circumstances that may seem trivial to us but are overbearing to them, and deserve some ounce of sympathy.
It’s never good to portray yourself as a victim for the sake of pity but it’s also not healthy to not allow yourself to have weak moments. As much as we say we hate the “strong black woman” stereotype, we sometimes enforce it ourselves by not allowing any explanation for our circumstances other than “why did you let that happen to yourself.” Wallowing in sorrow with a “the world is against me” type attitude doesn’t do you any favors either, but it’s important to find a space somewhere in the middle where you don’t beat yourself or every other women up for moments of weakness without shifting to the other end of the spectrum and feeling like you’re on the verge of self-destruction.
I can remember talking to a woman about some issues I was having once while holding back tears, and as she talked to me about how I shouldn’t be ashamed to cry and asked why I was forcing myself not to, and telling me X, Y, and Z wasn’t my fault, all I could think was, I wish she would stop talking to me like some stay-at-home white mother crying in the middle of her living room surrounded by toys because she can’t clean up the house and cook dinner all before her husband comes home from work. In other words, I didn’t want to be seen as helpless and weak because that’s what crying and admission of feeling defeated meant to me.
White women pretty much have that whole victim thing figured out quite well no matter what position they’re in in society and what circumstances they’re facing. While I don’t think black women want to be seen in that way by any means, I do think we have to cut ourselves a little slack because that’s they only way the rest of society will begin to. It’s also part of helping the rest of the world see that, yes our stories are that serious, and no, we can’t just move on. The world needs to recognize that we don’t bring every hardship in our lives on ourselves, and that we deserve compassion too, and I think that attitude shift has to start with us.
Do you think society allows black women to be victims? Do you think black women allow other black women to feel like victims? Should they?
Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.
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As women, we have a lot on our shoulders. We bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, take care of children, parents, siblings, sometimes without the help of a partner. As wages fall, costs rise, and relationships fail, bitterness can creep into our lives. Sometimes we take out these frustrations on customers, loved ones, strangers and small animals when the real problem lies within. Lashing out with a negative attitude is not an effective way of dealing with stress. Putting negative energy out always draws more negativity into our lives. Unfortunately, we can be so wrapped up in our own resentment that we don’t realize how unpleasant our attitude has become. Here are the signs that you have a stank attitude and some suggestions on how change it.
So I wrote a piece on Friday about things people in customer service do that customers can’t stand. Whoa, what a response that got! First things first, it was never my intention to try and make it look like all customer service workers are crappy, because they definitely aren’t. Like I mentioned in the introduction for that article, I’ve worked in positions such as these in my lifetime, more than once, some positions for years, so I was definitely not saying that. But I wanted to keep it real because I’ve noticed a steep decline in the way things are done in customer service. But hey, maybe that’s just New York. While there are some gems in customer service that deserve fat tips and recommendations to their managers, there are some that deserve a swift kick in the butt and an attitude adjustment.
But don’t get it twisted, just as there are bad sales associates, waiters and attendants, there are some equally terrible customers that walk into their establishments and warrant an attitude. Those who think a tantrum is needed when they can’t get what they want or get it quickly, who leave their tables looking like a bomb hit it, and talk crazy to people just trying to do their job because they’ve been in the mall waaaaay too long. Not only have workers encountered them, but so have other customers who’ve had to throw them a frown. Here’s a list of things that those looking to get served need to know before they march into a store, restaurant, gym, or whatever. If you do these things, know that you’ll need to do better–fast. Or you can just expect some spit in your food…kidding!