All Articles Tagged "are you a doormat"
Since I was a child, I was always taught to be a good girl. While I always prided myself on being “nice” or “the peacemaker” who was easy to get along with, there were times I felt that my kindness was mistaken for weakness. Most people don’t want to be seen as a jerk or a bad person, so saying “no” could be perceived as being mean. But if you’re not careful, others could walk all over you, and you could start to feel resentful if you feel you’re being taken advantage of. So are you simply a sweetheart, or are you passive? If you feel that being a nice girl is coming at the expense of your self-confidence, your health, or your personal relationships, here are some tips to adjust your behavior so that others will no longer view you as a pushover.
Females can be so soft, so accommodating, so understanding. It’s our charm, and our curse. We want to be the cushion our man rests his head on after a long day. We want to be the easiest part of his life, his support system and his unrelenting comfort. We want to be these things so much, that sometimes we forget about ourselves and our needs. For fear of being demanding, we can become a doormat. But never forget that, he should be all those wonderful things to you too—supporting, comforting, understanding. If you’re not getting what you need, admit it to yourself. Even if you understand why he can’t give it to you—even if you can come up with a dozen excuses for him, excuses don’t keep you warm at night.
He couldn’t pay for me forever
It’s true—if you link up your lives, it’s just not sustainable for a man to pay for you every single time you get popcorn at the movies or a pack of gum on a road trip. He may even let you foot the bill on meals sometimes. But, paying for someone isn’t about covering somebody who couldn’t cover themselves. It’s about treating someone. And that is a concept that should never leave a relationship. If your man has gotten lazy about treating you, always expecting to just go Dutch on every single bill, even on romantic dinners, or just looking at you to foot the bill, don’t just make the excuse that he can’t pay for you forever. No, he doesn’t have to pay for you forever, or every single time. But, he should still occasionally be treating you.