In my role as an amateur anthropologist, I have identified three key phrases, which are dead giveaways that you are about to be in for one heck of a story:

1. “Well, it’s like this….”
2. “Girl, you will not believe what just happened….”
3. “See, what happened was…”

Of course, there are variations, but generally speaking, whenever a person begins a story like that, be sure to pop some popcorn and pull up a seat because you, my friend, are in the midst of a storyteller. And there are so many among us. Take that one uncle you have who commands attention at family gatherings with his elaborate tales of family past drama and misadventures. Or The loud lady on the bus talking to a girlfriend, who you try to ignore but amusingly find yourself swept up in her whimsical narration of her current relationship. Or your little niece, who doesn’t just tell you of her trip to the zoo, but does this little cute thing where she imitates animal sounds and gestures too. Some folks really do know how to tell a good story.

This is what I thought of when I first watched Charles Ramsey give his now famous interview with a local television news station in Cleveland. Outside of being an everyday man turned hero, his retelling of his larger-than-life deed was sharp, witty, and concise. A colorful and animated wordsmith, who managed to slip speculation over the size of a man’s testicles on television without drawing the ire of the FCC. Most eyewitness accounts feature people, looking shell-shocked and giving the same caged cliché about how they, ‘lived next to him/her for years and never thought that he/she could do that. It’s awful.” Whereas Ramsey, who while very much still in disbelief, was able to not only share with us how long he had lived near this monstrous neighbor, but the extent of their relationship, which according to him, had progressed to gatherings of ribs and salsa music.

There is no other older form of communication on this planet than the tradition of oral storytelling. This is also hold true for the black Diaspora in America, whose oral heritage can be traced back to the creation of civilization itself in Africa and through slavery here in America. And according to How the African American Storyteller Impacts the Black Family and Society by Barbara Moss:

Slave versions of history, like all slave tales, were enhanced by the manner of their delivery. The oral inventiveness of good storytellers, who appear to have been relatively uncommon in black culture, was a source of delight and stimulation to their audiences. Their narratives were interlarded with chants, mimicry, rhymes, and songs. They talked animatedly, especially in the dialogues and changed the voice to represent the different animals. Nothing was too difficult for a storyteller to represent: the chanting sermon of a black preacher and the responses of his entire congregation, the sounds of a railway engine, the cries of barnyard animals, the eerie moans of spectral beings, all formed an integral part of black tales.

Now NBA star Jason Collins, I’m really happy for you, and imma let you finish, but Antoine Dodson had one of the best closet door splintering reveals of all times! *in a Kanye voice*

Seriously, there really is no topping renouncing one’s homosexuality in favor of the Hebrew Israelites. A celebrity can admit that they made a sex tape with Beyoncé and Rihanna, the the entire offensive line of the Tennessee Titans, a banana, and a unicorn, and I would still be like, “…yeah but you didn’t become a Hebrew Israelite…” *Kanye shrug.* As far as I am concerned, that’s just like living most of your life on a full diet of fruits, vegetables and meats and then suddenly one day, deciding that you would only eat air and rays from the sun. I mean, were the growing network of reformer Christian churches not accepting new memberships? But this is what Dodson had to say about his shocking news on Huffington Post Live:

“I‘ve been sitting at home, having a lot of free time to myself, so I have been sitting, reading the good book itself, you know the Bible – stuff like that – and I notice that it has spoke that we should follow the law to the commandments and I know that being gay is one of the commandments – I don’t know where people get that: be who you are and all this that and the other. No, the bible states against it. SO I’m like, you know I am tired of all the wickedness of the world; I’m just tired of all the lies; God, the most High, get me right. And I feel like this is my way.”

When asked if he was trying to pray the gay away, Dobson said that it was not that, but rather, “If you really want to change your life and just get rid of it; you can. And that’s what I am doing.”

It’s very true. You can change your life, however, can you really change your sexuality?

I think what captures people’s attention most about the Dobson story (after all, he hasn’t been relevant to pop culture in a couple of years) is that it challenges – or in some instances reaffirms – what people think about sexuality. Challenging in the idea that sexuality is rigid and what you are attracted to sexually is what ultimately defines your sexuality. And then there is the other camp, who believe that sexuality is indeed a choice. And that people do choose whether to be gay, straight, bisexual or a damn furry.

The latter usually includes folks, who quote biblical verses of proof that homosexuality is a sin and as such, is a choice (after all, you choose to sin, right?). Even in the age, where science is finding more evidence to support the idea that our sexuality might be more biologically ingrained in us than we think, I was personally surprised at how many folks still believe in the choice aspect. True, we have seen these sort of sexual flip-floppers before, most notably, Anne Heche, who once was in a serious relationship with Ellen DeGeneres but then went on to marry a man. And you can’t forget about gospel recording artist and Pastor Donnie McClurkin, who like Dodson, credits his faith with saving him from his homosexual lifestyle. So could sexuality be a little more fluid than we thought?

“Well for some people, sexuality has the ability to be fluid. But generally a person’s sexuality is made up of more than one thing; sexuality is made up of a person’s orientation, their behaviors as well as their personal identity,” says Dr. Natasha Watson-Mack, human sexuality coach, counselor and educator.

I reached out to Dr. Watson-Mack, in hopes of getting more clarity into this strange and wonderfully confusing world of human sexuality, particularly insight into the idea that one can change their sexuality. As suspected, she said it is complicated. Said Dr. Watson-Mack, it is our orientation, which tells us what we are attracted, or sexually stimulated, by; our behavior is what you act on and your identity is basically how a person sees themselves, which explains why we have folks out here, who might be orientation and behaviorally queer, but identify as straight. But while your behavior and identity can change, your orientation, who you are attracted to, pretty much remains in tact. “A woman doesn’t stop being straight because she decides to not date and be sexually active with men anymore. Her orientation didn’t change, just her behavior,” she says.

Dr. Watson-Mack claims that while a person’s sexuality can change based on internal and external environment factors, including not being settled emotionally with who they are, pressure from family and others in their social networks and of course religious influence, she cautions about championing the idea of praying the gay away, as sometimes the suppression of natural inclination can lead to oppression. And it is probably with good reason considering the recent deaths of three teenage boys who were allegedly torture at a gay-to-straight “conversion camp” in South Africa. According to published reports, the latest death involved a 15-year-old boy, who suffered brain damage, severe dehydration and malnourishment, a broken arm and bruises (including being covered in cigarette burns).

Likewise, there is no solid proof that gay conversion therapy actually works, as even its most ardent supporter, Dr. Robert L. Spitzer, a psychiatry professor at Columbia University, now repudiated his own research, which suggests that “highly motivated” homosexuals could go from gay to straight. In his retraction, he states that the major flaw in his much-touted study, was that there was no way to truly evaluate the credibility of those who reported a change in their sexual orientation. He writes of his retraction: “I offered several (unconvincing) reasons why it was reasonable to assume that the subject’s reports of change were credible and not self-deception or outright lying. But the simple fact is that there was no way to determine if the subject’s accounts of change were valid.”

I don’t know what this all means for Dodson himself, other than reaffirming that sexuality is messy and complicated and often times subjective. But what we do know is that even though a person’s behavior and identity may change, it doesn’t mean that their orientation does. It’s possible that he will change his behavior and identity, but his orientation could be towards men. Or it could be possible that he was bisexual all along, thus his orientation, behavior and identity is more fluid. All I know is that this is why I hope that as a society, we really do get to the place where sexual identity doesn’t matter, because really and truly, it doesn’t.  Like seriously Dodson, you want to roll with the dudes who stand out on street corners, harassing women? So much for hiding your wife and kids…

While you were chilling in the house last night preparing dinner, the most interesting thing happened. According to Missjia.com, Antoine Dodson, you know, the YouTube star from the “Hide ya kids, hide ya wife” bed intruder video, went to his Facebook and announced that he would no longer be presenting himself as a gay man. Why? Because he’d had a change of heart because of his faith. He claims to now be a True Chosen Hebrew Israelite descendant of Judah. Here’s what he had to say last night:

His last real Facebook status before this very big announcement was on April 1, so who knows how long he had actually been learning about this faith and going through such a transition. But despite how he might feel about himself now–while still toting a profile picture with pressed hair that looks better than most of the women I know–it seems some of his followers were turned off by his profession. Claiming that it perpetuates the idea that if you want to, you can choose not to be gay.

“…by renouncing your homosexuality you add fuel to the argument that being gay is a choice and this will in no doubt end up hurting someone young LGBTQ. Shame on you.”

But others were supportive of his decision, including one who said “all who hatin, why hate on someone willin to change….”

With people who make a living from an identity they create on YouTube, I can’t help but wonder if this could possibly be a publicity stunt of some kind to help keep his name relevant. And if it is, that’s definitely a very irresponsible thing to say and do in front of your mainy gay and bisexual Facebook followers/supporters. However, if it’s not, then more power to him. That’s his life, not ours…but what do you think?

Let us know below!

From TheGrio

When Sweet Brown’s eccentric answers during a local news broadcast turned her into a viral video sensation last spring, it was charming at first.

Like Antoine Dodson before her, Brown capitalized on her 15 minutes of fame with commercials and many other parodies of her frequently-watched clip.

By the time there were reports that Tyler Perry was casting the raspy-voiced woman in an upcoming film, A Madea Christmas, some observers began to speculate about whether her celebrity status had “jumped the shark.”

Read more at TheGrio

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As super-storm Sandy threatened the convenience and well-being of many East Coasters this past week, I found myself headed to the local Wal-Mart in the wee hours of the morning before the storm hit when I realized I didn’t even have the basics like milk, bread and juice.  Silly me.  Similar to the hysteria that Hurricane Irene caused last year, I witnessed all kinds of unnecessary behavior that many times just makes the situation worse than it has to be.  What is about weather emergencies and other potentially catastrophic events that brings out the crazy in people and makes them abandon all common sense? Here are just some of the predictable annoying antics of the public that I need to see come to a stop:

Turns out Antoine Dodson’s 15 minutes of fame actually aren’t up. The “Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wife” news sensation is back, and with new music, thanks heavily to autotune.

Totally opposite of the animated Bed Intruder performances, and subsequent Chimney Intruder song, Antoine’s mood is very serious and mellow in the video for his new single, “Lovesick Lullaby.” The ballad will apparently appear on his upcoming album, “2012 AD,” and it actually sounds pretty decent, thanks, again, heavily to autotune.

Check out the video featuring Brent Morgan and tell us what you think. Does Antoine Dodson actually have a chance in the music biz?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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As much as we love to see them rise, we love even more to see them fall. They’re the belles of the blogosphere for a month or two and before we know it, their horse and carriage careens into the land of obscurity before turning into just a regular old pumpkin. So I’m sending out an Amber Alert for the list of following celebrities. Do you know what they’re up to now?

Antoine Dodson debuted a new Christmas song called “Chimney Intruder” on Lopez Tonight, the late night talk show hosted by comedian George Lopez.

“If Santa’s coming to my house, he’s coming through the space heater!” We must all remember that there are no chimneys in the PJs.

What do you think of Antoine Dodson’s new song? Funny or are you sick of seeing him?

Halloween is almost here and you don’t have a costume and you’d rather not spending your time and money picking over the leftover scraps at the Halloween store. No worries, everything you need is right in your closet. Here are a few costume ideas tied to recent news events and pop culture characters that won’t cost you a penny. See if any of the following suit you or share your own ideas.

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Is everyone meant to be a celebrity? Certainly not. But these days it’s hard to tell someone who doesn’t have legitimate talent that they can’t turn a gimmick into a reality TV show, a book, or in the case of Antoine Dodson, a hit song.

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