Ever gaze off into the distance and envision yourself as a bustling business owner, entrepreneur of your own bakery or interior design company? The thing that often stops you from pursuing your dream, whether it’s to publish a book, open a gymnastics center, or  launch your own pet grooming service is fear. Fear of failure and not knowing how to dust yourself off and reinvent yourself to make a strong comeback. Banish those negative doubts and thoughts of disbelief that permeate the corners of your mind. Now is the time to go after your true calling. Still having second thoughts?  Seek inspiration below. And then I ask you: What are you waiting for, folks?

Source: Shutterstock.com

Self Satisfaction

I can’t get no . . . satisfaction won’t be your theme song because you will. You will be satisfied with the fact that you were willing to take the plunge into uncertainty. You will have to give it your all. Nobody said it would be easy, but there is something about pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps that feels oh so good.

madamenoire.com

When referring to humans, we usually hear the term “alpha male” when describing a man who is powerful, competitive and is a leader who stands out among all men. But the same term applies to women who possess similar traits – the Alpha Female.

Alpha Females are intelligent, “take charge” women who can be seen as powerful, or aggressive, depending on who you ask. Being an Alpha Female should be looked at as a good thing, but most bold women are sometimes recognized as high-maintenance or even a Itchbay by society’s standards.

So are you an Alpha Female? If so, there may be some pros and cons to possessing strong traits. If you are unsure, read through these characteristics to see if any of them describe you.

Read the rest of this entry »

Attending the best school so you can snag the best job, so you can bring home tons of bacon is what most of us dream about before we set off for college, and it’s what we keep pressing for as we graduate, land our first job, and strive to make increasingly more money throughout our careers. But then what? Once we achieve all that will we be truly happy? Science says no.

Timothy Judge, professor of management at the University of Notre Dame’s Mendoza College of Business, just completed research on 717 high-ability individuals who have been followed over seven decades. Using multiple criteria, Judge measured participants’ ambition during several periods of their lives from childhood to young adults just beginning their careers. The participants’ education ranged from Ivy League universities like Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, Columbia, Cornell, Northwestern, Berkeley, Oxford, and Notre Dame, to more modest educations, including high school diplomas and community college degrees. What Judge found was this:

“Ambitious kids had higher educational attainment, attended highly esteemed universities, worked in more prestigious occupations, and earned more, so it would seem that they are poised to ‘have it all.’ However, we determined that ambition has a much weaker effect on life satisfaction and actually a slightly negative impact on longevity. So, yes, ambitious people do achieve more successful careers, but that doesn’t seem to translate into leading happier or healthier lives.”

For all the positive perks that come with being overly ambitious, Judge emphasizes that a high level of professional success is not without cost to not only ones personal relationships but also their own mental and physical health. “Ambitious people are only slightly happier than their less- ambitious counterparts, and they actually live somewhat shorter lives,” he said.

Right now, Judge doesn’t know the underlying causes of the shorter lifespan for these individuals, but he does have a theory:

“Perhaps the investments they make in their careers come at the expense of the things we know affect longevity: healthy behaviors, stable relationships, and deep social networks.”

While this study obviously isn’t encouraging people to give up on pursuing their goals, the takeaway message is that balance is necessary in order to be successful professionally, personally, and physically.

Do you notice other areas of your life lacking while you try to climb the professional ladder?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

More on Madame Noire!

• Celebs Who Rode Their Famous Sibling’s Coattails to Success
• I Get it Now: Parental Wisdom That Took a Minute To Grasp
• No Child Left Behind: Can Having a Big Family Harm Your Children?
• Why I Question The Release of A Posthumous Aaliyah Album
• Getting To Happy: 7 Habits That Can Change Your Life
• Let Sleeping Dogs Lie: 6 Reasons Not to Go Back to Your Ex
• True Life: If I Could Say Anything to My First Love, I’d Say…
• Is The Black Standard of Beauty Giving You Low Self-Esteem?

Results from More magazine‘s annual workplace report showed that women today are skimming back on career ambition in search of more work-life balance. When asked flat out, 43% of the women surveyed described themselves as less ambitious now than they were 10 years ago, with only 15% indicating they are more ambitious.

Spinoff articles of the findings questioned whether American women were “going dutch” in reference to the causal attitude women in the Netherlands have toward their careers, with 68% of Dutch women working part time. But there was one exception in the More study: African American women. Black women were twice as likely as average to say they are more ambitious today.

What was interesting about the study was that it didn’t find that American women don’t want to work; they just don’t want to advance. Nearly three-fourths of the respondents said they would not apply for their boss’s job, with 38% saying they don’t want the politics, pressure, and responsibility.

Unfortunately the breakdown of the study didn’t look into why black women don’t follow the trend, but looking at the reasons women don’t want to advance, it suggests we are more confident about our ability to handle office politics–as that is a part of our regular work day regardless of the position we have. And with the need for more black women in corporate leadership positions and so many doors still being closed to us, it makes sense that we’re working over time to wedge our foot through the door in the first place. What isn’t clear is whether black women are OK with the sacrifices to their personal and social lives to make it to the top of the career ladder, or if they’re pressuring themselves in their own internal way to achieve a certain level of success.

Do the results of this study ring true for you? Are you working overtime to advance your career despite the pressure and responsibility, or are you more like the rest of American women who are searching for career flexibility?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

More on Madame Noire!

• 7 Negative Thoughts To Stay Away From When Single
• Veiled Vows: Couples Who Married On The Low…
• Captain Save Em’: Celebrity Men Who…Well You Know
• They Love Their Mamas: A Gallery of Rappers and Their Mommies
• The Problem with the Word Homewrecker
• The Real, Real Basketball Wives of The NBA

Every woman has dreams, or goals she wants to accomplish. Far too often many of our wishes fail to materialize. You can go to school to learn how to do just about anything except getting exactly what you want out of life. While there’s always some element of learning as you go, it doesn’t hurt to have a sense of direction, like a compass that points to happiness. Alas, there is no magic compass to dream living.

But we can use a few life hacks to help get things in order. Getting “it” together is really all about organization. And having personal cheats to circumvent the flaws always working to trip you up – for example, it took me 25 years to realize I needed a pocket valet right by the door. It makes it so easy to dump my keys, wallet and cash somewhere I can’t miss when I’m on my way back out. I must be saving hours each week thanks to that little hack.

If you’re at all interested in getting closer to your dreams, a few easy tips, cheats and hacks will do you well. Here’s a few to get you started.

(Madame Noire) — Would you say you’re an ambitious woman? Do you go off the beaten path to get out your dreams, or are you taking what you can get to help pay the bills and that’s it? It’s understandable with unemployment rates skyrocketing to tire of looking for your dream job and just do what you need to do to get things done: light bill paid, rent covered, food in the fridge. But before you assume your degree is going to go to waste and fall into whatever comes your way (a la Tetris), know that you don’t have to give up–you’ll just have to hustle harder than before. Here are five things you need to keep in mind while you fill out job applications on the low and plan your next move to get the job you really, REALLY want. Never say never folks.

Read More…