(Photo by Eric Charbonneau/Invision for FilmDistrict/AP Images)

So Terrence Howard finalized the divorce with his ex-wife Michelle and she hardly walked away with JACK! She did score $5,800 in spousal support per month for the next three years, which isn’t much for a semi-prominent actor like Howard. But when you think about it does she really deserve anything?

The couple stayed together for three years and for only one of those years were they actually in a relationship. The other two years were spent ironing out the details of their ensuing divorce. I would dare to say she made little direct contribution to his career, especially since, as of late, Terrence Howard has just begun to get his career back on track since its decline following his peak role in Iron Man back in 2008.  The laws that determine alimony payments vary for each state and many times the results of court proceedings can derive from a variety of factors like how long you have been married, each person’s conduct during the marriage, and even who had the best divorce lawyer.

But if we set legalities aside and just consider what’s fair, should a woman that was around for such a short time in a relationship where no kids resulted be entitled to alimony? He worked his whole life to build a career and spent one measly year with her and now has to pay money to keep it moving. And furthermore she was the one that filed for the divorce. Can’t Michelle just go back to her commercial production job making her middle class income like the whole thing never happened? He keeps his money and everything he brought to the relationship, and she leaves with what she brought to the relationship?

My first thoughts on this subject were, “Please, she’s no Juanita Jordan (ex-wife of Michael Jordan), Maria Shriver (ex-wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger), or Heather Mills (ex-wife of Paul McCartney).” These women held their celebrity men down for years and took home some of the largest divorce settlements in history. And as Vanessa Bryant made clear, you don’t have to be the one “shootin’ in the gym,” to be entitled to half when there is a family involved. But Michelle has not been down for Terrence for long at all.

However, after really thinking about it, marriage is no joke when you decide to make that commitment to a person it has to be taken seriously because when it ends, you can’t just start over like the relationship never existed. Ideally you both had intentions on spending the rest of your lives together, so whether it’s one year or 100 years, trying to wiggle your way out through a divorce should be cumbersome and costly, since neither of you saw the promises you made all the way through.

Anyone who enters a marriage should know that if it ends they stand to lose money, that if they want to walk away it won’t be easy, and that if they aren’t fully invested in it they shouldn’t do it because it’s going to be difficult to get out. You have meshed so much of your lives together —  emotions, family, money — that if you want to walk away, you might just consider going to counseling and working on your communication first. It’s not something that should just be done then undone.

So does Michelle Ghant deserve a pay day from her split with Terrence Howard? I’d say so. He has to pay her for the next three years and she gets a bicycle and a monthly stipend. I’m sure it’s not exactly what either of them wanted out of the deal, but it’s the price they have to pay for not getting it right.

Source: Wetv.com

Man. For the life of me, I cannot put my finger on the nature of Trina and Gabe’s relationship. One minute they seem like they’re really good friends and might be able to make things work; then the next, oral transactions are being exchanged, tracking devices are being installed on phones and separation papers are being drawn up.

So just to be sure we’re all on the same page, as of now Trina and Gabe are officially…legally(?) separated.

Now, according to TMZ, Trina is asking that a judge require Gabe to pay her an “unspecified amount of money.”  This raises a few questions.

1.) Isn’t alimony for people who are already divorced?

2.) Is Gabe really making that much more money than her that she would need to dig in his pockets?

3.) Money for what? For doing everything short of having full on intercourse with other women?

I’m just very confused. And as if the money request weren’t enough to make you tilt your head sideways, Trina says that there are no plans for the two to divorce and she’s hoping they’ll be able to work it out.

Umm Trina, baby how are you going to work on a marriage when you’re taking your husband to court, trying to get paid? Something ain’t right.

And on another note, has anyone else noticed that the Braxton sisters are seemingly content to be separated forever instead of just getting a divorce? Toni has been separated from her husband for years, Towanda was discussing the option when she and Andre were having their problems and now Trina. Now, I believe in the sanctity of marriage too; but what’s the point of remaining in a marriage you have no intention of working on it as you opt to live the single life, going on dates and what not. It seems like too many balls to juggle…pun intended.

What do you think, is Trina entitled from some money from Gabe, or should she be focusing her energies elsewhere?

killerhiphop.com

If you know who Jay Electronica is, it’s either because you are a hip-hop fan and know his music or you know him as the father of Erykah Badu’s youngest child. But according to Daily Mail UK, he is in the center of a marriage breaking up.  According to Ben Goldsmith, his music producer wife and heiress to the Rothschild banking dynasty Kate has been carrying on an affair with Jay for about a year (he is one of her clients and apparently lives in London now) .  Ben claims he found very racy text messages and email exchanges between the two of them and after denying anything was going on for a little while, Kate finally admitted they were having an affair.

During their argument, Ben assaulted her and left the home. Upon his return, the police were there and arrested him on a domestic charge. Allegedly, Ben has always been very suspicious of Kate and Jay’s “friendship” because of the amount of time they’d been spending together.  Apparently he was right because sources say Kate has a slight obsession with Jay, calling him multiple times throughout the night and sometimes spending the night with him.

This is quite the scandal as Ben’s father is financial tycoon Jimmy Goldsmith and as previously mentioned, Kate is a Rothschild scion.  The couple, who has been married since 2003, have three children.

Jay Electronica always finds himself in the most precarious situations.

So allegedly Seal is looking for an even split in the marriage.

According to Bossip;

“HEIDI KLUM’s divorce from SEAL is erupting into an ugly battle as the “Kiss From a Rose” singer prepares to go after a huge chunk of her $70 million fortune, say sources. The 38-year-old supermodel filed for divorce April 6, stating they have a post-nuptial agreement, which means they agreed to keep their assets completely separate during their marriage. But Seal has struck back, filing his own documents that make no mention of their post-nup, yet note that California is a community property state — which could entitle him to half of the beauty’s megabucks. “Even though they may have had a post-nuptial agreement, it appears that Seal is going to challenge it,” said a legal strategist. “If he is successful, it could mean big bucks for him in their divorce.

Man, it sure does suck to be married in California.

I kid of course (but then I don’t) however whenever a celebrity divorce makes the pages of a gossip magazines, the discussion that immediately follows involves debate over spousal support and alimony and who deserves what and how much. Interestingly enough, the debate usually centers on some high-profiled celebrity man and his low-profile wife. Public discussion about what should become of communal property generally splits among gender lines: men folk will say, “Why does Kobe’s wife get half? She didn’t win any championships!” Whereas the women will strike back, “Vanessa is entitled to half because she raised the children, held the household down and spent years standing by his side through all his extra-martial affairs.”

All legitimate points but what happens when the breadwinner of the celebrity couple happens to be a woman? Well than that is a whole different story there. Most of the reaction I’ve seen centered on women calling Seal a dirt bag loser for wanting his slice of the matrimony pie. While the men folk, who once were so adamant against spousal support, suddenly have a change of heart and sympathy for the plight of the househusband.

Aside from the Kiss from a Rose song, which I only know from the Batman movie, I can’t recall another song from Seal -but I heard/read he has sold more than 20 million albums.  And I, and perhaps a few others, haven’t really heard anything professional from the Nigerian/Brazilian singer besides being the arm piece to his much more famous and financially astute wife, who has managed to flip her modeling career into a successful reality TV show, among other things.  According to Forbes, Klum has earned $20 million in the last year alone, making her the second-highest paid model.  So it would make sense that is spousal support is coming, Seal would be the recipient, yet folks still have a hard time accepting it.

Westernized, traditionally speaking, men have been the prime breadwinner in the household, therefore the ruler of the family. He was responsible for management of all marital property including his wife, who depended on him to provide her sustenance.  Therefore alimony came about to ensure that the wife was taken care of after divorce. Remember in the old times, women could not own property outside of a Singer sewing machine.

So if a woman’s husband left her, there was a strong possibility that she would be destined to extreme poverty and be literally penniless in the streets.

But times have indeed changed and as we enter the second or third wave of feminism, we are beginning to see a significant number of women, not only reaching financial equality with men, but in some cases, surpassing the opposite gender on the salary scale.  According to a study by the Pew Charitable Trust, 22 percent of men made less money than their wives in 2010 – an 18 percent increase since the 1970s. In some instances, these new financial achievements for women have also been accompanied by gender role reversals in marriages where the woman is outside the home, grinding for the bacon, while the man rears the children and takes care of the homestead.

But like most marriages in the United States, there is a high chance that they will head to divorce. And with that comes more men seeking alimony from their much wealthier spouses. Consider former 98 Degree singer, Nick Lachey, who sought – and was eventually denied – spousal support from ex-wife pop singer Jessica Simpson.  And then there was Janet Jackson, who had to pay her ex hubby Rene Elizondo $15 million, give him the couple’s Mercedes and their five-bedroom Malibu beachfront home.  Not to mention Kirstie Alley, Madonna and Britney Spears all were court-ordered to cough up money each month to…ahem…maintain their ex-hubby’s lavish lifestyles.

As many women in America can go to college, own our own homes and earn big bucks in the corporate world just like men, they can also end up paying their partners hundreds to even thousands of dollars a month in alimony, just like men. Unfortunately it’s the gift and the curse of independence and equality. I,for one, am not in favor of ending spousal support. Despite the advancement in gender equality (at least the ability of a woman to live independently), there are some women – and men – who really need it and had a previous agreement with their spouse that they would stay home and raise the children/tend house. But as we all know, not everyone who gets spousal support necessarily deserves it. Some folks are just looking for a meal ticket. But that’s why it is important that folks, especially folks of means, understand that when you take the vows to spend your entire life with someone, it means the house, the car and the bank accounts too. If not, well you better learn from Klum’s mistake and get a pre-nup. Oh yeah, women qualify for those too.

More on Madame Noire!

• Bet You Didn’t Know: Secrets Behind the Making of “What’s Love Got to Do With It”
• Where Are They Now? The Cast of “Family Matters”
• Can We Ever Get The Black Family Sitcom Back?
• Ratch on Ratch on Ratch: 6 Questions I Need Answered About Basketball Wives’
• The Mane Balancing Act: Exercising And Your Hair
• What’s Love Got To Do With It? Things You Really Need To Make A Relationship Work
• Post-Baby Fab: Fantasia Shows Off New Curves, New Hair & New Colorful Look

You’ve been with your man for a couple of years now, and perhaps the topic of marriage has crept into the conversation a time or two. He’s stated he wants to get married (to you), and you’re both on the same page, but you have no idea when the proposal is coming…if at all. While some men avoid the “M” word like the plague, others are simply waiting for the right time to pop the question. After all, this will probably be the most important question he asks in his life, so he’ll want to make sure he’s ready and that the timing is right. If you think he’s acting weird, or that he might not ever propose at all, let’s try to decipher his behavior by finding clues that he’s finally going to put a ring on it.

Read the rest of this entry »

theurbandaily.com

We all should be cautious on who we take relationship advice from, but I’m not sure if we can help hearing what Grammy winnner and Queens rapper nasty Nas has to say about love and marriage. In an open and honest interview the rapper  shares his advice on marriage and making relationships work while keeping it real about his divorce from Kelis. Read it here..!

Source: NWSO

Every time I read a story about some celebrity woman taking her husband all the way to the bank and back with alimony on top of child support, I can’t help but stop and ask, what are you being paid for exactly? I fully understand the history of  spousal support. Throughout the centuries of stay-at-home mothers and housewives, women would have essentially been in the poor house if they didn’t receive financial assistance from their ex-husbands due to societal beliefs about a woman’s place being in the home. But newsflash: it’s not 1950 anymore, and for that reason I find spousal support a difficult financial obligation to justify in this day and age.

Alimony, of course, is no longer just a price men pay for being the breadwinners in a relationship that’s gone south. In the 1970s, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled against gender bias in alimony awards and a small increase in the number of men seeking such payment was seen. Although there is still some stigma associated with the idea of a women supporting her ex-husband, as we see with men like Gabriel Aubry who wasn’t even married to Halle Berry, some guys have no problem with a woman fronting their lifestyle. We’ve known for years most ex-wives of successful men take absolutely no issue with making a man pay for her needs long after they’re out of the picture.

The idea of making someone pay is what alimony has been reduced to in a lot of ways. Outside of “no-fault” states, sort of the understood obligation of having to pay alimony is that you are the one who caused the breakdown of the relationship, now it’s going to literally cost you, quite possibly for the rest of your life. While the rules vary from state to state, in a lot of cases, being married for 10 years entitles you to permanent alimony until the day the payor dies. That’s a big price to pay for failing in a relationship. If the woman was the one who did wrong, oftentimes her right to claim alimony is seen as fore-fitted. I know most laws are based on simple moral standings but the reasons a couple decides to end their marriage and establishing right and wrong in a divorce isn’t exactly as cut and dry as murder, for example. It seems a little odd the law can penalize someone for perhaps not making the best choices in their relationship, even if they don’t necessarily impact the overall social order.

The other part of spousal support is the idea that the dependent spouse should be able to maintain the lifestyle he or she became accustomed to during the marriage after it ends—at the cost of the financially stable spouse. My question is why? Divorce isn’t one of those things that happens over night. In the time that both parties are giving depositions and going through the course of litigation, ideally there is plenty of time to, I don’t know, find a job. It’s not as though someone can spring divorce papers on you tonight, and you’ll be out on the street tomorrow. And as far as maintaining a certain standard of living goes, I feel that’s one of the perks of being a dependent spouse that goes out the window sort of like having someone to cuddle up next to at night. Sure, it was nice to enjoy fine dining seven nights a week and have a maid and a housekeeper while you were married, but if you can’t afford those things after you part ways, I would hardly consider that the end of the world. It’s no wonder tons of marriages end up to be nothing but financial contracts in many situations, look at the way divorce is handled.

The state of today’s economy is one factor that makes me think spousal support may still serve a purpose. With so many people struggling to find jobs, it would be unfortunate to be a stay-at-home spouse and find yourself suddenly divorced and unable to find employment. However whatever assistance is provided should be temporary. Rehabilitative alimony, as they call it, which is support given to a lesser-earning spouse for a period of time necessary to acquire work outside the home and become self-sufficient, should be the standard in spousal support cases, not the exception. In life there are some mistakes that you have to pay for forever, but I don’t think a failed marriage is one of them, especially when there is likely no one thing that can be pinpointed as the ultimate cause of the breakup. More than that, there is simply no excuse for any able-bodied person not to work and support themselves like any other single American has to do. If you want to live a certain lifestyle you need to go out and make it happen not wait for the check from someone else’s hard-earned living to roll in.

What do you think? Is spousal support still necessary in this day and age?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

More on Madame Noire!

• When Tweeting Goes Wrong: 6 Celebrity Scuffles & Screw Ups On Twitter
• Are You In Love With Being In Love? Reasons Why Being A Romantic Can Ruin You
• Star Wars: The Best Of Celebrity Feuds
• “Ask A Black Man” Episode 1: Life Of A Single Man (Extended Cut)
• Check Your Child: 8 Tips For Keeping Your Daughter Off The Pole
• Don’t Text Your Ex! Thing To Tell Yourself Before Picking Up The Phone
• Take It To The Floor: Maxi Dresses That Will Sweep You Into Spring
• Give & Take: Signs That You Are Too Much Of A Giver

Sure, you’ve got your gold-diggers. You’ve got your lime-light stealing opportunists who marry a man because of the paparazzi that follows him and the fact that they want to be stars. But then, you’ve got those who were just looking for a normal, loving marriage, with not so normal, loving men. We think these women deserved their half in the divorce after all the crap they went through thanks to their mates. While we know money doesn’t replace time or heal a broken heart, it can definitely warm it and get a gal back out there on the right foot:

NFL Hall of Famer Deion Sanders has put an end to all of the rumors alleging that he has filed for divorce from his wife Pilar Sanders. He told TMZ while they’ve talked about splitting up, he’s NEVER filed legal papers.

Sanders says that he and Pilar are currently still together — but in the process of figuring out “what’s best for our future, our lives, and our kids.” As for why the marriage is rocky … Deion explained, “Its not one isolated incident,” adding, “Sometimes you just grow apart.”
Read more here…

(Black Enterprise) — We’ve all seen and heard them: the TV ads and the radio commercial promises touting bankruptcy as a “fresh start” to help you get rid of overwhelming bills.  While it’s true that Chapter 7 bankruptcy can wipe out many consumer debts, such as credit card payments and medical bills, it’s also the case that a lot of different types of debts don’t get eliminated in bankruptcy court.  Additionally, Chapter 13 bankruptcy—which consumer advocates say many African-Americans have been steered into recently—isn’t designed to allow you to completely walk away from your debts, but rather to reorganize your finances and pay off debt over a period of three to five years.  So before you take the step of filing for bankruptcy protection as a cure-all, it’s important to be aware of the various financial obligations you will still have to handle even after you go through the process of bankruptcy.

Read More…