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I’ve always been sensitive to news of someone’s death, whether I knew them personally or just happened to come across their story in the news. This is particularly true when it comes to suicide. Immediately I think of what it must have taken to get the person to the point of not just having suicidal thoughts but to actually pull the trigger, or take the pills, or make the cut.

But while I sit in sympathy and ponder the sadness they must have been feeling and the emotions those closest to them must be experiencing, I’ve realized there are others who have drastically different reactions to news of suicides. While I ponder explanations like depression and isolation, they think selfishness and cowardice.

It’s interesting since news of Don Cornelius’s apparent suicide yesterday, those words haven’t been brought up. Perhaps Don’s positive influence is so great that it overshadows his controversial passing or perhaps suspicions of dementia or Alzheimer’s give him a pass from simply being a weak person who couldn’t handle the cards he was dealt, because that’s often the attitude that is projected when someone takes his own life. It always baffles me that if even in death you can’t understand someone’s suffering, how are you surprised that those same people didn’t seek help when they were living?

As far as we’ve gotten away from Catholic teachings that someone who commits suicide is automatically damned to hell, it’s clear that isn’t what makes suicide such a taboo in society, so what is? This issue is far from being one that’s solely black but it bears a deeper look in a community that is typically resistant to accept or discuss mental health. If we can’t accept or understand someone’s choice to take their own life then how can we be accepting or understanding of the circumstances that lead them to that decision while they’re still living? People tend to question why a person didn’t just “say something” but I tend to believe the person has been saying something all along—either vocally or indirectly through their moods or behaviors—and those signs were either ignored, unrecognized, or brushed off, as was the case with Ashley Duncan. That’s not something we can afford to do any longer.

Black women are more likely to attempt suicide but black males are much more likely to complete it. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the third leading cause of death among African American males between the ages 15 and 24, and in 2007, of the 1,958 African Americans who committed suicide, 1,606 or 82 percent were males, according to the American Association of Suicidology.

I understand family and friends who are left behind feel as though a person’s choice to commit suicide was selfish but it’s also selfish to only think about the pain they’re feeling in that moment and not the pain that must have driven their loved one to take that step. It’s also unfair to assume what another person should be capable of handling. What one person may think they can take, another simply may not, and no one can say who’s right or wrong. I think it’s safe to say the perceptions of anyone dealing with thoughts of suicide may not be fully in line with reality as outsiders see it. While people may be around and willing to help, those battling depression tend to not see things that way or to feel as though they are a burden and may in fact be doing their loved ones a favor by taking their own lives. Our perceptions create our realities and once someone is gone there’s no way of knowing what they were truly thinking at the time.

Rather than attempting to admonish any guilt that may be felt by disregarding a suicide victim’s circumstances, it would be far more beneficial to think about what can be done to prevent more deaths in the future. Responsibility for a victim’s death cannot be placed on the shoulders of everyone around them but we should be accountable for the attitudes we have toward depression and other mental health issues so that we can eliminate those stigmas and not worry about people taking that next fatal step in the future.

What are your thoughts on suicide? Do you tend to see it as a selfish or cowardly choice? Do you think the black community is more likely to view suicide as taboo?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Everyone agrees that stereotypes are wrong but there are a few floating around that most black people don’t take much offense to. In fact, some stereotypes are more a badge of honor for black culture than racial bigotry.

Not only are many black people proud to proclaim these commonly held notions, but if a white person affirms her belief in this lore, you’ll pat her on the back for finally getting it right, thinking “now that’s a cool white person.”

And here they are, black people’s favorite stereotypes:

Forget the United States not being ready for a black president—which was somewhat proven wrong in 2008 when President Barack Obama was elected into office. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints say America isn’t ready for a Mormon president, specifically Mitt Romney, and that religious intolerance will prevent him from being elected into office.

Results of a survey published by the Pew Research Center’s Forum on Religion & Public Life showed 32% of respondents don’t believe the U.S. is ready to elect a Latter-Day Saint as President although they believe acceptance of Mormonism is rising. Another 46% of the members say they are strongly discriminated against because of their faith—so much so that it would stop Americans from voting Romney into office, although they voted a black president in previously.

Part of that discrimination stems from media portrayals according to respondents, 54% of which say depictions on television and in movies hurt their image; another 68% say they are not viewed as part of mainstream society at all. Interestingly, the highly conservative group is pretty new to tolerance itself. It wasn’t until 1978 that Mormons even allowed African Americans to become full members of their church—meaning they could be ordained as priests and participate in temple ceremonies. Results of this survey also show two-thirds of the church’s members believe homosexuality should be discouraged.

I agree with two-thirds of the members who feel Americans know little about their church but I’m not sure if the United States wouldn’t vote a Mormon into office, or just Mitt Romney?

What do you think about this survey? Are Mormons right in thinking Americans wouldn’t vote a Latter-Day Saint into office or do they think they’re discriminated against much more than they actually are?

We’re doing something right in the work place. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, black women are narrowing the gender wage gap faster than any other race.

In 2010, black women earned 94% of black men’s full-time weekly wages. Comparisons among other ethnicities found Hispanic women at 91%, Asians 83%, and Whites at 81%. Hispanic women were previously thought to be the ones to close the gap since they had the smallest disparity in earnings with Hispanic men between 1990 and 2000, but black women have now surpassed them.

One reason for the narrowing gap, according to the Business Insider, is that two-thirds of African Americans earning bachelor’s degrees are women, which coincides with an even larger trend of women earning more diplomas than men overall in the past 10 years. The more women that get into the work place in positions of power, the greater chance we have of completely closing the wage gap for all women.

Do you think black women will really be the ones to close the gender gap first?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Recently, the Huffington Post Black Voices section published a provocative piece entitled, “It’s Official: Gay is the New Black.” In it, Writer Monique Ruffin writes about the somewhat tenuous relationship between the gay rights community and the black community, particularly the black church and argues that there are parallels between the fight against racial discrimination and equal rights for the LGBT community under the law. She said, “Gay is the new black, sadly, because many blacks haven’t been willing to embrace their own practices, secrets, fear, and shame about homosexuality. Many blacks have not been able to reconcile their real-life experience with their faith, and until they do this, they are oppressed people who are also practicing the oppression of others.”

While I agree partially with the sentiment of this piece, it does kind of remind me of the scene from The Wiz when Dorothy (played by Diana Ross) and the gang enter the Emerald City to an awaiting spectacle of dancers, who looked like they stepped right out of a 1970s Ebony Magazine’s Fashion Fair spread. The dancers in full regale, boogie around the city to a chorus of “I. Want to Seen. Green. I. Wouldn’t be caught. Dead. Red.” That is until an announcement from the great, powerful and unseen OZ blares over the loud speakers and says, “I thought about it and green is dead and I changed my mind and the color is red.” Then the whole Emerald City suddenly transforms to a dazzling spectacular of red sequin and gardenza as the same dancers two-step around the pavilion, saying, “I wouldn’t be seen green. You got to be dead red…”

In other words, in this presumably “post-racial” era it’s easy for some to assume that racism doesn’t matter as much in comparison to other social issues.  However, despite the rather catchiness of the phrase, gay is not the new black because black is still black.

Of course this isn’t the first time this declaration has been made. As the battle for gay rights issues such as marriage equality have intensified so have the comparisons of the gay rights movement to the Black Civil Rights movement of the 60s. And when Proposition 8 passed in California, gay rights advocates, as well as the mainstream press, were quick to place the blame squarely on the Black community, even as Blacks made up less than 10 percent of total voters. The meme, for whatever reason, caught on, and now the Black community has largely been viewed by the mainstream as homophobic and intolerant.

This is not to suggest that homophobia does not exist in Black community. However I frankly get sick and tired of myself, my friends and my family carrying the weight for something we are not. Perception wise, being gay is no different than being a Republican in the community; some folks may not like it but it damn sure hasn’t stopped Hakeem and his boyfriend, nor Uncle Walt and his “George Bush was a Great Man” political views from coming to the family dinner.

Black folks, like the rest of humanity, are complex beings. This broad brush strokes that we as black folks are more homophobic than the rest of society is a bit deceitful, if not dangerously divisive. Likewise, It’s easy to pick on the black community because it lacks social power and political voice to really fight back than it is to strike out at the real power structures like Congress, State Assemblies and anti-gay, and mostly white, lobbying organizations, and the Church, which are far more influential in deciding who gets married and who doesn’t.

Moreover, I am a little perplexed at how so much attention is given in the press to homophobia in the Black community while ignoring the racial prejudices that have become so normalized in the LGBT and the mainstream community as a whole. While gay advocates and legislatures in New York were likely patting themselves on for their victory in making that state the sixth state to pass a same sex marriage law, there was certainly a deafening silence from many of the same folks about how that state’s biggest city continued its draconian stop-and-frisk practice of rounding up Blacks and Latinos (gay, straight and otherwise) for marijuana arrests.

Yesterday, Bank of America’s Countrywide Financial unit agreed to pay a record $335 million to settle civil charges that it discriminated against minority home buyers.

Countrywide Financial was accused of charging African Americans and Hispanics higher interest rates and fees and directing some to more expensive subprime mortgages between 2004 and 2008– before they were acquired by Bank of America. An investigation found a widespread pattern of discrimination against more than 200,000 people in more than 180 geographic markets across 41 states and the District of Columbia.

“These allegations represent alarming conduct – by one of the largest mortgage lenders in this country, during the height of the housing market boom,” U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder said in a statement.

The Justice Department said the money will be used to compensate victims of Countrywide’s discriminatory mortgage loans from 2004 through 2007. Their civil rights division also has about 20 other open investigations into financial institutions accused of discriminatory practices against minorities buying homes.

What do you think about the settlement?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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By Wayne Hodges

Hair, weave, nails and wigs. When it comes to looking good, our black women certainly won’t hesitate to come out the pocket. But where is that money going?  And, most importantly, what does the future hold for black commerce?

Stacey Mebane, a 44-year-old African-American woman, has patronized non-black beauty supply stores for decades. Her favorite cosmetic shop, the “Two Brothers” beauty and supply store, is owned and operated by Koreans.

When asked to explain her fascination with the aforementioned venue, Mebane mentioned price and customer service as determining factors. “I have shopped at Korean stores for years,” said Mebane. “They have a nice assortment of beauty and nail supplies. I like their prices. And the owners are usually friendly.”

Today, the multi-billion dollar black hair market is being served by roughly 9,000 Korean-owned beauty supply stores. Most, if not all, of the revenue generated leaves the black community. “It would be nice to see our people take advantage of these opportunities. It seems like our businesses have a hard time just staying open,” said Mebane. ”My friends and I shop at these stores all the time so we know they make good money. I would like to see that money go to black owners, to the black community.”

Nicole Bailey, 40, of Kansas City echoed a similar sentiment. “The Korean stores are much cheaper than black-owned businesses. You have so many low-income women who wear weave but can’t afford to pay high dollar,” said Bailey. “The black businesses don’t stay open as long because of their prices. Sometimes black owners are rude. I’m like ‘you have high prices and a stank attitude too?”

The assumption here is most African-African women would prefer to see an influx of black ownership in cosmetic retail. However, when it comes to manufacture and distribution, too many barriers come into play.

For instance, of the four central distributors serving beauty supply stores in America, none are black. Instead, this component is owned and controlled by Korean merchants who many believe have discriminated against blacks to help preserve their monopoly.

Cash flow has never been an issue in the black community. Per capita, no race of people spends more and save less than African-Americans. The problem, nonetheless, has everything to do with which direction that revenue stream is flowing.

Now the million dollar question: What’s necessary for African-Americans to become more actively involved in retail production and distribution?

It’s tough to say.

Hair and weave products, for instance, are not manufactured domestically. Therefore, a wholesale distribution deal must be orchestrated between Korean merchants and black businessmen. If Koreans are unwilling to negotiate through fair business practice, then something in the form of a boycott or protest must transpire. But, can ladies survive without some of their favorite hair care products?

Such a task is probably too much to fathom.

“A (protest) wouldn’t be a good thing. You have thousands and thousands of women who wear hair weave,” said Bailey. “Even white women wear weave now. You also have women with a good length of hair who use weave to add a little ‘umph’ to feel sexier. I don’t see a protest working.”

Wayne Hodges is the Editor of MassAppealNews.com

It’s time for another Back to Africa movement…but this time updated to the times in which we live.  First, I already know that the vast majority of so-called African Americans have little desire to even visit Africa, much less move there.  That’s not what I’m suggesting here, although everyone should make the pilgrimage “home” at least once.  While I do encourage people to start physically moving to Africa if they find an opportunity and desire to do so, what I’m really suggesting is that we start going “back to Africa” economically.  Look at the chart above.  Now think about the US economy.  Look at your stock portfolio and your bank accounts, then look at the chart above again.  Now look at me.  I’m on a horse.  Old Spice.

It is estimated that out of the top 10 fastest growing economies IN THE WORLD over the next 5 years, 7 will be in Africa.  Black people are missing out, and our “Black leaders” are completely clueless.  Meanwhile, the richest Black person in America (Oprah) is not even close to the richest African in terms of net worth (and no, you won’t find those numbers in Forbes because they’re not public…just ask any Nigerian).  Read one issue of the African Business Magazine (they have a free iphone app) and you’ll begin to see the vast opportunity that is not even on Black folks’ radar right now.  While we’re worried about begging for jobs and scraps in America and spending money that we don’t have, there are billions of dollars ready and waiting for Africa’s long lost sons and daughters who are willing to help contribute to Africa’s sustainable development and help themselves in the process.

African immigrants and first-generation Africans in America already know this, and since the financial meltdown in the West, many are returning home to greener pastures.  Europeans, East Indians, Australians, and Chinese investors all know this.  So-called African Americans, those who’s families haven’t stepped foot in Africa in 100 years or more, need to wake up. Those other groups have no interest in the sustainable development of Africa or her people.  They see dollar signs, and they’re going after them.  You can’t blame them for acting in self-interest.  Why aren’t we?

But Black people in America have an advantage.  First, we have the technical and managerial knowledge that is desperately needed in Africa.  Second, we’ve been integrated in white schools and companies for over 50 years now, so we know everything they know, plus some.  Third, we look like Africans…we are Africans.  We just haven’t been home in a while.  And in reality, most people are more comfortable doing business with people that look like them.  Despite popular belief, most Africans will welcome us back with open arms.  Yes, there is still some tension left in the relationship between “African-Americans” and Africans, but these are small potatoes compared to the generally destructive and exploitative relationship between everyone else and Africans.  So if the Europeans, Indians, and Chinese can invest in Africa…we should be able to as well.  We can do it better.

There are a lot of negative views about Africa in the Black community, some of which are true, but many of which are perpetrated to keep the secret about the land of opportunity from us.  Most people think the BRIC (Brazil, Russia, India, and China) countries are where the hottest investments are.  Well guess where the BRIC countries are investing?  Africa.

So how does one invest in Africa you ask?  That’s the tricky part.  There are some African stocks you can invest in directly or through ETFs, and that’s a good start, but that’s not where the high returns are.  You need connections and people on the ground in Africa to see any real money.  If you don’t know the right people you will probably lose your money.

I don’t know about you, but pretty much any time I hear a new stat on sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), I have the urge to run out and get tested. I could have literally just left the doctor’s office with the OK after a battery of tests and still feel the need to make sure I’m actually clean as a whistle.

The stigma, the thought of having to explain a sexually transmitted disease to a new partner, and the effect of an STD on my overall health weigh on my mind too heavily to do otherwise. And the idea that somewhere down the line a disease could prevent me from having children is a fear that shakes me when I think about possibly contracting an STD.

A new report from the Centers from Disease Control and Prevention shows that black people have the worst rates of STDs overall—even despite the recent drop in the spread of syphilis.

• Rates of Chlamydia among African-Americans are about 1,383 per 100,000, compared with 467 per 100,000 among Hispanics and 166 per 100,000 for whites.
• Rates of gonorrhea for whites are 26 per 100,000. Among Hispanics, rates are about three times that at 63 per 100,000, and among African Americans, the rates are 512 per 100,000.
• Rates of syphilis have fallen to 2.4 per 100,000 for whites, 5.9 per 100,000 Hispanics, and 20 per 100,000 for African Americans.

I think people tend to look at STDs the way I used to look at cancer. I know how prevalent cancer is, but because I never knew anyone personally affected by it until a few months ago, it was just an abstract concept. We hear about the rates of STDs and HIV in our community so much, but I think we don’t quite understand what those numbers mean. If we’ve gotten off the hook before with a disease scare, we’re probably even more likely to think it can’t happen to us or that there aren’t really as many infected people as there truly are.

But numbers don’t lie, and people in the African-American community are the most impacted by STDs of all groups.

Dr. Kevin Fenton, Director of the CDC’s National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD, and TB Prevention, says the cause of the disparity is not racial. He told the press recently: “It’s not because someone is black or Hispanic or white that results in the differences that we see in STDs. It’s really what these represent in terms of differences in health insurance coverage, employment status, in ability to access preventive services or curative services. These are all factors which are going to have a huge impact on communities as well as individuals who are vulnerable to acquiring STDs or not getting them diagnosed early.”

by Sheree Gaines

A few weeks ago, I was at a Tribeca bar having drinks with a friend. A man that she’d been dating for a couple of weeks later joined us. How do I describe what happened next? Trust me, it wasn’t anything so fascinating but it was interesting because it played out like it’s played out so many times. “Chris” was an investment banker (I’m sure his title is much more complicated but that’s a simple way of describing) on Wall Street. When he greeted me, he did so without so much as a grin. He put out his hand, took a seat across from me and next to the woman he’s been courting and continued to act too cool to smile or to even let his guard down.

I’ve encountered his type before – many, many times. It was the case of the IBM: Ivy League (or Intelligent) Black Man. The term is thrown around loosely to describe the successful black man who exudes a particular air of arrogance – an attitude that defies warmth, openness and humility.

We all know that arrogance is not exclusive to Black men of course but considering that I’m a Black woman amongst a peer group where success, this is an area I’m familiar with.
Why does success seem to correlate with arrogance? When you really think about it, what’s the whole attack on humbleness. Our deeper societal values praise humility, yet popular culture and media promote the attraction of arrogance.

As I was sitting across from Chris, I couldn’t help but think he’s doing himself a disservice by putting up such a façade. The arrogant attitude serves nobody. Maybe, in his mind, this is what he’s supposed to act like. But in reality, the idea that “I’m better than you” is not only a obstacle to his own enrichment but also an obstacle for the community as a whole. Whether we admit or not, there is a lot of prejudice in the Black community. One of my other African-American friends subconsciously avoids attending events like Black professional mixers because she’s scarred by the whole IBM attitude. (And yes, we know females possess a version of it too).

As a Black man who’s “made it,” an IBM has the special feeling of being a rare commodity. From the dating perspective, he’s attractive for his success and the the uniqueness of his position as one of the few men of color in the upper echelons. Some may say “who can blame ‘em” when it comes to their arrogance of the IBM. But I think it’s time to drop the airs.

I’ve seen Chris a few more times since that initial meeting and I have to say that I’ve warmed up to him, because essentially he let down his guard. Since I wasn’t reflecting any attitude and was my more usual open and warm self, he felt a bit more comfortable around me. My friend noticed the same thing about him as well. He was so busy posturing and making sure he conveyed his pride at the beginning, she wasn’t sure it was going to go anywhere. But as time passed, he realized that she was a real person who didn’t function like a character out of a script who was only interested in his pedigree. Hopefully, he’ll remember to not hold back his best self when encountering new people because that would be a darn shame.

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