All Articles Tagged "advice"
Co-workers may mean well, but that doesn’t mean that you should take career advice from the office buzz. There’s a lot of misinformation out there. If you want to take the right way to the top, here’s the terrible career advice you should ignore.
Have you heard of “the new side chick“? Just because there’s no other woman doesn’t mean you’re his number one. If your relationship sounds anything like this, you could be a side chick without even knowing it.
Is there a formula for love? Scientists say that if you want to know if you two have what it takes for the long haul, all you have to do is look at the numbers. When it comes to fighting, loving and spending these are the signs that you’re doing it right.
Didn’t get called back for a job you swore you were qualified for? Your unemployment could have nothing to do with your skills and everything to do with these ways employers discriminate against potential applicants.
The Name Game
Being a single mom is hard, but you don’t have to tell these celebrity mothers. Read on to hear them dish on the things every single mother knows.
There Are Some Benefits To Being A Single Parent
For Kelis, those perks are all about deciding that mommy knows best now that Nas is no longer in the picture. Kelis says that now, “I’m raising Knight how I think he should be raised. “He’s a great baby.”
Productivity isn’t just for the office. These celebs have advice on how to run your life like a business and check the “success” box in your personal and professional life.
Keep A Calendar
How do you live a purpose-driven life? By writing down the path to that purpose. At work, a calendar keeps you focused on what you need to do to get the job done.
A life calendar will do the same. Have you heard of the Seinfeld Productivity Method? Former procrastinators swear by it.
It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Pick up these body language techniques and you’ll talk your way into your dream job and ace your next interview.
Mom always knows best — even when it comes to beauty. These must-follow beauty rules come straight from mom’s mouth — and it’s about time we listened.
Did You Put Lotion On?
Turns out, mama is always right — even if your skin is naturally oily. Skip the moisturizer and your skin will take it as a cue to produce even more oil.
My name is Princess and I met a guy about two months ago now, but he works too much and hardly makes time for anything. He’s taken me out for dinner, he’s taken me to the movie, he stopped by my house after work to see me and chat with me in his car for about 45 minutes to an hour; we sheared some stuff about each other like age, family and etc, and he said stuff about taking me to meet his mum. He texts and calls me any time he gets a chance, sends me his pictures of some events, on request though, but gets very worried any time he calls and doesn’t get me on line and he hasn’t said anything about love or like or a relationship. What could be in his mind, what should I hope for?
Lauren: Hey Princess, Based on his actions, I think you should inquire as to what his intentions are. Depending on his answer, you can determine whether you want to continue seeing him or not. In the meantime, if you meet another guy, give him a chance too. Dating around can allow you to observe men and who has character — an important quality that will elevate and sustain a great relationship. Most importantly, dating multiple men can give you insight on what you want in terms of a long term relationship. Know what you want, because your emotions and needs come first.
Jazmine: People make time for what’s important to them. You said that your guy works a lot and barely has time for anything, yet he’s able to find time to consistently stay in touch with you and take you on dates. This is a good sign. If you’re feeling that you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level with this guy, there’s nothing wrong with asking what his intentions are. This is your life too and you deserve to know the direction that this relationship is headed in.
Veronica: I think the best and really only way to find out would be to just ask him. I don’t think seeing or dating someone for two months, without any expressed commitment or intentions, is necessarily a problem. He’s either still probably trying to figure out what’s going on between the two or you or he may even be seeing other people. And as long as he’s not saying the two of you are exclusive, then there’s nothing wrong with that.
But on the other hand, you certainly have a right to know where you stand. And if you want more from him, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask for it now before you get in too deep.
Victoria: Honestly, some of the activities you’ve both taken part in together sound a lot more like friendship than a romantic courting stage. I wouldn’t expect for him to say anything about love after only two months. But I wonder, did you ever tell him what it is you’re looking for? No need to wonder about what his next move will be. If you want a relationship (and it seems you want something serious since you asked about the L-word), you should tell him that’s what you’re seeking/want for yourself. From there he can let you know if he can provide you with that or if he will need to move on. But a lot of the time, it’s best to just let these guys know, as early as possible at that, what your expectations are. That way, you won’t feel disappointed, led on or like the ball is completely in his court, and he will know all these expectations you have.
Brande: Princess, I don’t think you should hope for anything. You should ask for what you want and if he won’t give it to you you must move on. Two months isn’t a long period of time to get to know someone so I wouldn’t be concerned that love and a relationship haven’t come up yet. But, you should have a sense of whether the man likes you or not, and that is something that would be shown by his actions. From the few things you noted, I get the gist that his actions don’t measure up to you and if that’s the case, call him on it. Ask him if he’s interested in dating you and can see your friendship turning into something more. If he says yes, let it be known you need him to demonstrate that by his actions and make time for you. You also need to make it clear that you have other obligations too so he shouldn’t be questioning you when you don’t immediately answer or return his calls — especially since you aren’t in a relationship and you don’t even know if you’re “in like.”
How do I tell my man I need more sexually without hurting his feelings? By more I mean foreplay, endurance, and oral. He doesn’t do oral and I miiiiiiiissssss that. Basically, we just do it and go to sleep. I need passion and lengthy sessions. Please help because I’m thinking of cheating even though I don’t want to. I love this man dearly.
Veronica: I just think you need to tell him. And there’s a great chance that you might hurt his feelings. But his response will tell you a lot, so pay attention. Tell him that you need more foreplay and perhaps suggest things he can do for endurance’s sake. (Do your own research.) And then ask him why he’s so anti-oral. If there’s no swaying him on that, then you’ll need to ask yourself if that’s something you require in a relationship. But uhhh… about that cheating thing? Naw. That’s a very punk move. Tell him you’re not satisfied, if he doesn’t respond well, break up. Cheating will only come to the light later and karma is very real. If you love this man as much as you say you do, cheating could mean losing him forever. Good luck.
Victoria: Don’t cheat. You should make the effort first to let your man know that you want to improve the sexual relationship that you have, and if he is resistant to change to the point that you’re unhappy, you should just leave before you step out. I would also encourage you to try and change things up on your own if you want things to be more passionate in the bedroom (you should still let him know your concerns though). Try some different positions by taking charge in executing them. Often times we want more but we expect men to do more in order to make that happen.
Initiate longer “make out sessions.” Bring in certain toys, lingerie or products to spice things up.Tell him in a tender way before you get straight into intercourse what exactly it is that you want (including him going down on you). Foreplay will definitely lead to longer sessions so do what you can to continuously encourage more kissing (when he tries to jump into intercourse, lightly resist–making him wait will be worth it), more oral play, more things that will keep you satisfied. They do say that closed mouths don’t get fed… Certain things might require more than just spicing it up between the two of you, as in the whole endurance issue. He might need to get in the gym, change up his diet or see a doctor about that. But for everything else, if you love this man dearly, you both should be able to work together to improve the sex life that you have together.
Jazmine: Cheating is definitely NOT the answer. It just sounds like the two of you need to work on improving your sex life. There are ways of communicating your wants and desires without being harsh or critical. Instead of beginning your statement with what he’s doing wrong, praise him for what he’s doing right and then make your suggestions. For example: “I really like when you do XYZ, but you know what I’d really like to try…” I’d also take advantage of that conversation as an opportunity to find out if there’s anything he’d like for you to do or try.
Lingerie almost always helps and as some have already suggested, I think doing research is pertinent because there’s so much information out there. It’s difficult to make suggestions when you’re not quite sure what you want yourself. Perhaps you can purchase a book on different positions and suggest that the two of you commit to trying some of the out. Also, it takes two to tango. There’s nothing wrong with you stepping up and taking charge.
I’m not really sure what to say about his refusal to perform oral. Maybe find out what his hang ups about it are and then move forward from there?
It really just sounds like you guys need to work on being comfortable enough to communicate your wants in the bedroom.
Brande: You have to have a conversation and, frankly, you probably should have had it before the first time you got it in — or at least after. If you like receiving oral sex and he hates performing it, it’s unlikely you’ll ever get the sexual pleasure you need. Plus, your man has been going along all this time thinking he’s doing his thing and he’s clearly not so it’s likely he won’t be too receptive to this feedback, at least initially. Tell him you’re not getting the pleasure you need and that sex is just as much about the intimacy around it as it is the physical act; hence he needs to spend more time getting you in the mood so you enjoy the moment just as much as he hopefully does. Whatever you do, don’t cheat. Walk away from the relationship before you do that. It’s not the answer and you know it.
Lauren: I think you need to assess why cheating would even be an option for you. As much as sex is physical, it is also a mental and emotional experience. Do you feel connected in these ways with your partner? Besides this, I think it is important you speak about how you feel with your significant other. In order to strengthen your sexual relationship, your communication needs to be sound. If you two cannot speak about what troubles you (or him) in the bedroom maturely without taking offense, it would be worth the thought to examine your personal hangups. Many couples say once they put each other’s needs first, everything aligns for them. Try that method, happy snuggling and then some!