All Articles Tagged "Adoption"
White House Down actress and mommy of three, Garcelle Beauvias, is currently gearing up for the launch of her new I Am book series, which is geared towards children and speaks on subjects like adoption, divorce and being bi-racial. The first release from the series titled, I Am Mixed, encourages children to embrace diversity.
“I Am Mixed is an invaluable teaching tool that all children from all races can learn from,” said fellow Hollywood actress, Halle Berry, who wrote the book’s foreword.
According to Beauvais, the book was inspired by her two younger sons.
“It was an opportunity to help my children understand what makes them special, to know their heritage and learn self-acceptance. I really hope it will start conversations for other families as well,” the 46-year-old Haitian beauty told parenting site Elizabeth Street.
“I want my children to have compassion for all human beings regardless of race, age, or any other differences. Having respect is a big part of what I want to instill in them. And most importantly, I want them to be proud of what makes them who they are!,” she continued.
She went on to say that when she moved from Haiti to Massachusetts, she was the only Black child in school and it was the first time she she was “different.”
“When I came here, we moved to Massachusetts and I didn’t speak English. When I went to school, I was the only black child, and the kids would touch my skin and feel my hair because they hadn’t seen someone like me. I never thought of myself as different until then. I learned to be more accepting of others because of my experience.”
A brief description of I Am Mixed found on Amazon.com reads:
“Jay and Nia are the children of two worlds, and as they will discover, they can enjoy the best of both. From Mommy’s jazz beats to Daddy’s classical piano, we will dance with the twins through a book that explores what it is to be of mixed ancestry, proving that a child is more than the sum of their parents.”
Even when it comes to adopting a child, the capitalistic notion of “supply and demand” is applicable. And a child’s price tag in the adoption market indicates which ethnicity is more desirable. White children are more expensive with a $30,000 price tag, while biracial and Black children cost about $25,000 and $20,000 respectively, reports Jezebel.
A study that surveyed adoptive parents between 2004 and 2009 found that there were stronger preferences for girls and children who are not African American. Despite the fact that Americans generally prefers boys, prospective parents favor girls because they believe female adopted children are more socially tame than males.
The same study shows that an African-American baby is seven times less likely to attract the attention of a prospective parent compared to a non-Black baby. Although the cost discrepancy based on a child’s race seems discriminatory, research shows that the differences stem from who’s adopting.
According to the U.S. department of Health and Human Services, 63 percent of the children in foster care were adopted by White parents while only 27 percent were adopted by Black parents. As Whites are the parents that are primarily interested in adopting, their main preference for their prospective children is making sure there’s a resemblance. They want children who “can potentially pass as their biological children,” the study added.
Caryn Lantz, who has adopted a child, noted that during the process, she remembered a social worker telling her that the process would move more rapidly if she was open to “adopting an African-American child.” NPR adds, “adopting biracial, Latino, Asian or Caucasian children could be a slower process… because there were more parents waiting for them.”
Lantz was upset to hear this because she felt as if these adoption agencies were segregating children and pricing them based on race. Despite being a Caucasian woman, Lantz agreed to adopt two African-American boys.
The decreased price is one of the strategies being used to increase the appeal of Black children. Also, in 2009, the federal government funded an ad campaign to “encourage black families to adopt, in hopes that they’d be more likely to take home children who looked like them,” Jezebel added.
One woman, according to Jezebel, made the decision to adopt an African-American son. She understands the different price tags on children based on race, but she stated, “My son was cheaper than if he’d been white. How will he feel, if he even finds out about that?
When we first toured my daughter’s private school, I saw a little African-American girl toddling around, grinning happily and looking adorable in her matching jumper and sandals. I looked around for the girl’s mother, happy to know that there were at least a few black parents there.
But then the girl’s mother, a slim white woman with short blonde hair, came and swooped her up, nuzzling against her smooth skin. Oh, I thought to myself. Why did I just assume that a black child would have to have a black parent?
I probably made that assumption because, despite what you may see coming out of Hollywood, black children tend to get adopted at lower rates than do white or Asian children. Here’s a number that may surprise you: More than 30 percent of the American population has, at one point or another, considered adopting a child. But how many have actually taken steps to do so? Only two percent.
That type of numbers game may be one explanation for why so many black children are waiting to be adopted. As of 2010, more than 115,000 children were in the foster care system on adoption lists; these children are disproportionately older children of color. However, most adoptive parents request the children be younger than two years old, have no disabilities or significant trauma and, oh yes, be white. While the number of transracial adoption has grown over the years (some estimate the number to be 40% of all U.S. adoptions), white parents adopting black children is still rare.
Rachel Garlinghouse, a white woman and author of Come Rain or Come Shine: A White Parent’s Guide To Adopting and Raising Black Children, has adopted two black children and shares her story at WhiteSugarBrownSugar.com.
“Transracial adoptive parents have a unique responsibility to foster racial pride and identity within their children,” she writes on her blog. “I do not believe in entering into transracial adoption lightly. However, I’m heartbroken at the lack of families willing to parent children of color.”
Read more on MommyNoire.com.
Are you a new African American adoptive mother? We are casting new adoptive mothers that are willing to let us shadow them for a FULL day for an episode of Mommy in Chief. You must live in the NYC metro area and be willing to accept our crew into your home for a full interview about the adoption process and your experience.
Most mothers would be horrified at the news that their teenage daughter was pregnant. But one London woman encouraged her 14 year old adoptive daughter get pregnant. And not only did she encourage it, she practically forced the young teenager to inseminate herself with sp*erm she’d purchased over the internet several times a day over the course of 2-3 years.
The daughter, who was a virgin, gave birth at 16 years old after having a miscarriage at 14. In a case that was kept secret from the public, the girl, whose identity has been concealed to protect her privacy, testified that because her adoptive mother was so domineering, she was scared to tell her no.
The mother, who adopted children three children from abroad, recruited her daughter, to get pregnant when she was denied the ability to adopt a fourth child. The woman couldn’t get pregnant because of a medical condition and underwent an elective sterilization procedure years ago.
She was married when she adopted her first two children and divorced when she adopted the last. The court claimed that the woman isolated the children by homeschooling them and keeping the oldest two away from their adoptive father, her ex husband, for 10 years.
The daughter told investigators she was pretty shocked when her mother asked her to willingly get pregnant but also thought, “if I do this … maybe she will love me more.” She also said “feelings of gratitude for my adoption influenced how I behaved.”
The mother wanted a girl, so she made her daughter use painful douches containing lemon juice and vinegar and eat certain foods which she believed would affect the baby’s gender.
Over the years there were several instances where the authorities and child welfare services were called out to the house when neighbors complained of the mother’s inappropriate behavior toward the children like cussing them out, isolating them from peers and leaving them in the home alone while she was being treated in the hospital for a month.
Each time, the authorities found that there was no cause for concern. A case review of the authority’s findings are being published next month.
The mother’s evil and selfish plot was only discovered after midwives reported her aggressive and insensitive behavior during her daughter’s labor. The midwives say that mother tried to prevent the daughter from breastfeeding the baby saying, “we don’t want any of that attachment thing.” They also noticed how the daughter hesitated when handing the baby over to her mother. They called child protective services when the mother attempted to remove the baby from the ward.
After reviewing the case, a welfare provisions and family division judge, Mr Justice Jackson included his reaction in his decision saying “…an abiding sense of disbelief that a parent could behave in such a wicked and selfish way towards a vulnerable child.”
The mother is now serving five years in prison for child cruelty.
Obviously, there are a lot of emotional scars this young mother will have to deal with now that her “mother” is gone and she’ll have to raise this child by herself. We’re hoping and praying that she gets the therapy and help she needs; preferably from the state that failed to protect her in the first place.
What do you make of this case? Did the child protective service agencies drop the ball? Do you think this woman should have been sentenced to more time?
Kym Whitley found herself in an unexpected situation when a woman practically left a baby on her doorstep. In our exclusive interview, Kym explains how she petitioned a village of her close friends and family to help raise her son Joshua. This story is beautiful. Check it out.
The Material Girl is taking a serious stand on education in Malawi.
Pop superstar Madonna announced that her charity, Raising Malawi, built 10 schools in the country in 2012 and six of them are already in use. Initially, the schools were supposed to take 18 months to build, with the last one going up in June 2013, according to News24; however, with help from partners at the non-profit buildON, they are six months ahead of schedule. The four schools that aren’t already open will be ready to go by the first day of school in January, Madonna said.
With the opening of the schools, Raising Malawi noted that the schools would help an estimated 4,871 children receive an education. Malawi is listed as one of the world’s least developed countries and only a very small portion of boys and girls are able to go to school so this undoubtedly help in a tremendous way.
This huge project seems to make up for Madonna walking away from the creation of a $15 million girls academy in Malawi back in 2009 after Raising Malawi was accused of financial mismanagement. Madonna dismissed it by saying she decided not to continue with that project because she wanted to be able to reach thousands of children, not hundreds of girls.
If you’re wondering why Madonna seems so closely connected to Malawi, it is because two of her children – David and Mercy – were both adopted from there.
This is a huge undertaking so here’s hoping Raising Malawi and buildON continue to make it successful for the sake of the children.
This has got to be one of the most bizarre things to make media headlines in a long time. According to the Daily Mail, a Texas man by the name of Terry Achane is facing what could be one of the biggest fights of his life after his estranged wife put their infant daughter up for adoption without his consent or knowledge. Now, the child’s adopted family is refusing to give her back, even after a judge has ordered them to.
The first thing that would come to the minds of many when hearing a story of this nature is how does something like this even happen? Well, it seems in 2010, Achane, 31, and his then-wife, Tira Bland, were going through a few martial problems, as most married couples do at some point or another in their relationship. Unfortunately, these problems came around the time that the couple learned they would be expecting their first child. According to Achane, Tira suggested aborting the child or putting her up for adoption because she feared that she would become a single mother; however, Terry encouraged her to keep the baby. A few months later, in February 2011, Terry had to take a job out of state, but anticipated returning to Texas as a new father.
A mere ten days after his departure, his wife gave birth prematurely and placed the newborn with an adoptive family with the assistance of the Adoptive Center of Choice. The child, whom Terry wished to name Teleah, was adopted by Jarred and Kristi Frei, a White Utah family with six children, desperately seeking to expand to seven in an effort to give their youngest child a closer sibling.
Of course when he learned of Tira’s actions, Terry was outraged and sought custody of his daughter.
“I was like, “Utah? Where is Utah?” I’d never been to Utah. She’s never been to Utah,” Achane shared with the Salt Lake City Tribune.
The Freis’ named the child Leah, but were made aware by the Adoptive Center of Choice that the child’s father was unaware of the adoption and would most likely contest it if he found out. Although, a judge has ruled that the Freis return the child to her biological father within 60 days, they are seeking an appeal claiming that they have spent a lot of money for adopting the child, around $25,000.
“This is a case of human trafficking.’Children are being bought and sold. It is one thing what [adoption agencies] have been doing with unmarried biological fathers. It is in a new area when they are trying to take a child away from a married father who wants to have his child,” Mr. Achane’s attorney told the Salt Lake City Tribune. “
Terry, who certainly does not wish to be involved in an extended legal battle, discussed how important it is that he be united with child immediately.
“If they prolong it, that is more time away from my daughter. There are precious moments I can’t get back. … It has been a year and a half now. There is no court order saying they have the right to my child. I just won the case. I want to get my daughter and raise my daughter.”
The Freis are prepared for a fight, however.
“Since that eventful day, we have, as a family, come to know that this dream was a righteous desire blessed to fruition by God, and that Leah would be that child – and yet, little did we know the challenges and trials that awaited us in finding and fighting for this little girl,” the family shared on their blog, which they have been utilizing to raise money for their court battle.
This is wrong on so many levels. I’m not sure if God would “give” them a baby at the expense of a grieving father who wants his child. Hopefully Terry will be united with his daughter soon.
What do you think of this? Are the Freis’ justified in their fight for Leah?
Jazmine Denise is a writer living in New York. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise
Oh, Tyra…we love you, girl!
Supermodel legend and business mogul Tyra Banks visited the Wendy Williams show on Friday and as per usual, Wendy got all in her business. They discussed her breakup with Wall Street business man John Utendahl (she says they’re still very close friends who speak but he has no “benefits” with her) and the conversation led to Tyra’s desire to have children. The 38 year old spoke on her fertility when Wendy said to her she still has eggs left:
“I think they’re kind of like poached. They’re a little crispy. Like a burger with that fried egg that’s in there? That’s kind of what I’m feeling.”
On whether or not she’d freeze her eggs:
“I keep saying that I’m going to do that. But don’t you have to give yourself a shot in the butt? Ohhhhhh.”
Tyra also says she would absolutely consider adopting a child. She admitted that she’s wanted to be a mother since she was a child and with or without a marriage – and with or without a man – she will become a mother. While she is still on the dating scene hoping to find the right guy for her, Tyra is definitely keeping her options open (and with all that money, it seems she has a few of them).
Side note: She also denied rumors that she’s dating her fellow America’s Next Top Model judge Rob Evans and considers him her younger brother (now we all know that a “play” brother can turn into something else).
Most people associate a biological drive to have children with women. After all, we are the creators of life and natural-born nurturers, so it goes without saying that most women are designed to want kids, right? While this instinct isn’t present in ALL women, it can be argued that because of gender roles, most women feel the need to have a child simply because society says that’s what they’re supposed to do.
But men also have an internal, subconscious drive to procreate. However, while most women want to have children with a man who can provide for her and their family, a lot of men nowadays don’t feel they have to be part of a unit in order to make a baby. Not many women are programmed to WANT to be single mothers, yet the desire to be a father can be strong enough to override any sense of logic or commitment. Simply put, most men can see themselves as fathers, but not as husbands. While having a child with someone would seem to be a WAY bigger commitment than marriage is, some men feel they can be great fathers, but would make terrible husbands. Does this sound like broken logic, immaturity or honest truth? Look at these reasons a man may want to be a dad without being a husband…and YOU decide.