Yesterday we talked about the explosive episode of “Iyanla Fix My Life” which aired Saturday night on OWN. Most people walked away from the opening episode of season 2 perplexed by DMX’s struggle and the fact that no real resolution came away an hour-and-a-half later. And that frustration was magnified by a statement the rapper’s publicist released, insinuating that Iyanla Vanzant exploited DMX and somehow made his image worse — eliminating any type of accountability on his end.

Well, if you know anything about Iyanla, she’s not standing for it. In fact, she’s responded to the negativity from DMX’s camp with another outpouring of love and an opportunity for him to get the help he so desperately needs. On the OWN website, the  life coach and Yoruba priestess posted this videotaped open letter to the hurting rapper, saying:

Beloved,

I know we haven’t spoken since our time together in Yonkers, but you have been in my thoughts and on my heart. And what concerns me is what I’m hearing from your friends and family and those who love you. And what I’m hearing is that they are just waiting for the call. They’re waiting for the day they get the call. And you know what I mean.

But I’m not waiting for that call. I’m calling on you, and I’m not going to give up on you. I will not stand by and watch my brother die. Over the years, I’ve worked with many, many people who’ve struggled with addiction. With help, healing is possible.

I want you to remember the person you became in the final months of your grandmother’s life. That’s a clean life. You can be that man today and every day. Just remember what your son said to you, “I want a relationship with you that is not toxic.”

My brother, Earl, DMX, I support you. I love you and I’m calling on all of my beloveds, my tweeple, my Facebok, my masterpiece families, to send you their love and support.

I know that there is no valley deep enough, no gap wide enough, no mountain high enough that love can’t conquer.

My door is always open.

Let’s hope DMX decides to walk through that door. What do you think about Iyanla’s letter?

In Hollywood, plenty of drug scandals have made news headlines and while many of them end in tragedy and sometimes death, there are some celebrities who have overcome their addictions to be stronger and better than they were yesterday. Any addiction is hard to break, and as a celebrity, the added stress of constantly being in the public eye can make things even harder, but these celebs managed to triumph and we salute their success!

Getty Images

Oprah

As if a crazy past riddled with abuse and poverty wasn’t bad enough, Oprah also drug issues to contend with. During her 20s, Oprah admitted to using coke and she apparently was also a regular user during the ’80s. Today Oprah has long let go of her addiction and has become one of the most successful women in the world.

Source: iStock.com

As I sit and stare down at my laptop writing this article the pudge peeking from below my tank top serves as an unwelcome reminder that I am getting older and my metabolism isn’t what it used to be. Although the workings of weight gain and loss are quite complex, simply put most doctors agree that as we age our bodies tend to lose muscle and as we lose muscle our metabolism tends to decrease.  What does that mean for me?  It means in order for me to maintain this size 3 waist I may finally have to admit that the pickles on my Big Mac don’t count as a vegetable and stop counting my ten minute walk to the train as a workout.

For many women big and small, weight consumes their world.  But the only reason I ever watched my waistline was to put the belt through the loops on my skinny jeans.  It’s true; I’m the evil skinny woman that Monique threw shade at in Skinny Women Are Evil: Notes of a Big Girl in a Small-Minded World which some would argue doesn’t encourage self-confidence but excuses an unhealthy lifestyle by throwing around phrases such as “fabulous and thick.“  At 5’2” and 115 pounds, I wasn’t offended.  Us skinny girls have our own problems, but don’t blame me for being genetically blessed.  And it’s not that I don’t think big girls are beautiful.  Are you kidding me?  If you tune in for 15 minutes of 106 and Park you’ll be bombarded with images of voluptuous backsides bouncing beneath trial size waistlines.  Most of the girls glorified by our culture don’t look like Monique, but they don’t necessarily look like my no-hips-having behind either.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t painfully aware of the fact that petite privilege exists.  It’s why employers typically hire pretty, thin woman as administrative assistants rationalizing, “They’re the first image that introduces a client to the company,” as if being pretty and skinny means that you’re a competent employee (if that even really matters).  I first became aware of the fact that these judgments came naturally to me when I noticed I instinctively breathed through my mouth on the bus whenever a bigger person sat near me. We’ve rendered fat people as the scapegoats for every social group’s flaws.  We automatically associate obesity with odor, poor hygiene and a lack of self-control…and that’s completely foul.  Still, the first step is recognizing that you have a problem and I recognize my way of thinking about weight is seriously flawed.

Source: womensthougths.wordpress.com

From yourtango.com

By Wendy Kay

Sometimes the truth hurts, but it also sets you free to choose to act differently. The truth also gives you the freedom to get help when you know help is available. Addiction is not a pretty disease and it affects the entire family.

Children are the victims of the alcoholic or addicted parent. Imagine being a child whose parent is more interested in a substance than caring for and raising you. Imagine the inappropriate behaviors and responses in daily life of the person who is under the influence of a mind-altering chemical. The child doesn’t know what is real or right.

The child knows what anger and sadness are. She also knows what neglect and abandonment are through physical and/or emotional absence. They witness lying, violence, aggression, desperation and worse. They know what hurt and pain feel like and what it’s like to be alone is like. Children are the true victims of living in the chaotic dysfunction brought on by addiction.

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By Kariba Williams

I was only five when I realized that my mother had a drug habit. She would stay in the kitchen for hours at a time with some of her “friends.” She would only come out when she needed to prevent me from venturing into the kitchen or when it was time for her to go to the “store” to feed her habit. By the time I turned six, my first brother was born, however, my mother continued her drug use and wound having two additional children in a span of three years. My mother was not a “typical” user. She went on heavy binges. She didn’t use every day, but when she did use, she would be hard to reach for days at a time. Because of this, my siblings became my responsibility at a young age. I ensured that they were fed and tried to show them the right things to do, despite my own lack of guidance. I was a good girl for the most part and my mother knew it. As her disappearing acts caught the attention of neighbors, authorities were called in and my siblings and I were removed. This became the norm. She would get us back, we would be removed again, and she would somehow get us back once more.

When she got us back for a final time, she still wasn’t through with her addiction. She knew how to straighten up long enough for the court to believe she was rehabilitated. My mother loved us very much, but her inner demons ran rampant. She had minimal strength in fighting her addiction and that made me an adult before my time. I made hard decisions and became the most consistent thing in the lives of my siblings. I was their guardian. I felt an incredible need to protect them. The feeling was so strong that I couldn’t even fathom the idea of going to college outside of the city. If I left, who would protect them? My life was about them and never about me. I was more selfless than selfish for the first half of my life.

One night, my mom went to the “store” and didn’t come back for two days. I was 21 years old, had a job and was enrolled in school full time. And at that point, I was fed up. I was tired of playing mommy. My siblings were teenagers and one of them was becoming rebellious: arrests, stabbings, juvenile detention, breaking curfew, and possible pregnancies. Things were beyond the usual meetings with the guidance counselor. Things just became too much for me, and I finally realized how overwhelmed I was. For the first time, I knew it was time to pull myself together for me. When my mother came back from that two-day binge, I moved in with a relative and started doing my own thing. From there, I got my own place a year later.

The singer in 2004

I was really hoping Amy Winehouse passed away from drug and alcohol withdrawal issues, but unfortunately, it was from alcohol poisoning.

In London, according to the Los Angeles Times, a coroner’s inquest found that Winehouse’s death was “death by misadventure.” The singer, who passed in July, was found with too much alcohol in her system, specifically 4.5 times over the legal limit. Coroner Suzanne Greenway reported that Amy Winehouse “had consumed sufficient alcohol at 416 mg per decilitre (of blood) and the unintended consequence of such potentially fatal levels was her sudden and unexpected death.”

Her family released a statement expressing their appreciation of the kind messages and love they had been receiving, and how relieved they were to actually find out what the cause of her death was–even if it wasn’t what they had hoped:

“It is some relief to finally find out what happened to Amy. The court heard that Amy was battling hard to conquer her problems with alcohol and it is a source of great pain to us that she could not win in time. She had started drinking again that week after a period of abstinence. It means a lot to us and from the overwhelming messages of support we have had since Amy died, we know she meant a great deal to people all over the world.”

After years of battling with drug addiction, including cocaine, heroine and alcohol addiction, it seems the singer gave into her demons and passed after going on a drinking binge. As someone that was a huge fan of the singer, this news is still sad, months after her death. As stated before, I was hoping she was just going through withdrawal after her parents said she had gone through a short period of being drug and alcohol free. I just hope other starlets and everyday people battling with the diseases of drug and alcohol abuse can get the help and support they need so they don’t have to meet Amy’s same fate.

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Do people call you a shopaholic? They may have a valid reason for saying you are if your piggy bank has been on empty mode thanks to your compulsive shopping habits. If you’re able to regain control of your habit and stop spending your last dime, you could honestly say one day that your days as a spendthrift are over. But first, here are some telltale signs that you might have an addiction before you decide to move on to the recovery phase:

In a study released Friday by consumer research company Intersperience in the United Kingdom, word on the street is that when people aren’t connected to the Internet, whether through their phone or their computer, they go through feelings of fear, anger, and loneliness. Not only that, but others even experience symptoms of withdrawal usually associated with being coming off of drugs and alcohol. According to the Los Angeles Times, more than 1,000 U.K. folks ages 18-65 were surveyed, and 40 percent of the individuals said they indeed feel “lonely” without their beloved Internet connection. On top of that, 53 percent said they get upset when they are denied Internet access. And boy is that true! Just think how quickly you lose your mind when you go to a hotel with no Wi-Fi! Participants of the study were asked to refrain from using the Internet for 24 hours, and according to the International Business Times, afterwards, one participant said “It was like having my hand chopped off.” Reaching? Maybe so. But boy, do we love being “connected.”

The findings were summarized by the chief executive of Intersperience as very telling of the role and importance of Internet in our lives nowadays:

“Our research shows how just dominant a role it now assumes, influencing our friendships, the way we communicate, the fabric of our family life, our work lives, our purchasing habits and our dealings with organizations.”

Duh. But would you agree? Are you always connected, and if so, how do you feel when you’re not?

(DC Centric) — Talk of the apple and how it doesn’t fall far from the tree did abound.  There was plenty of head-shaking by the ladies who sit outside on porches and fan themselves with newspapers.  “Sad. So sad,” many of them said, because they had hoped that maybe, this time, the story wouldn’t be so familiar.  You know, that old story about how the father was an addict and got into all kinds of trouble and then the son grew up and did exactly the same?  Council member Marion Barry (D-Ward 8), who has spent a lifetime famously fighting his addiction demons, is staying quiet about the recent drug arrest of his son.Christopher Barry, 31, was arrested May 28 after neighbors called police because of the racket coming from his apartment in the 4300 block of Martin Luther King Jr. Avenue SW.

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By Alexis Garrett Stodghill

Marcy Borders was enshrined as an icon of the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center when a news photographer snapped her debris-covered form. Having just fled one of the towers, she had been pulled into a nearby building for safety after being stunned by the suffering she encountered in the streets. She wanted to run back out after hearing the sound of one tower’s crash, but was restrained. This photograph captures that moment in which she was saved from fleeing into harm’s way.

Marcy’s death-defying escape preserved her body, but crushed her soul. After witnessing injured people impaled with rubble and covered in blood, she descended into drug addiction to cope with hellish memories.

Barely surviving murderous mayhem rendered Marcy unable to cope with life. She lost custody of her two children after abusing alcohol and pills to numb the pain. She lost her desire to take care of herself, or live. In an exclusive interview with The Daily Mail, Borders details the self-destructive path she followed for ten years — and her remarkable road to redemption. Marcy is clean and sober now:

But in the weeks and months following the event, Marcy’s life began to fall apart. ‘If you’d have talked to me in March, 2002, I’d have told you my life was over,’ she says.

‘My life spiraled out of control. I didn’t do a day’s work in nearly ten years, and by 2011, I was a complete mess.

‘I was convinced Osama Bin Laden was planning more attacks. Every time I saw an aircraft, I panicked.

‘If I saw a man on a building, I was convinced he was going to shoot me.

‘I started drinking heavily. Then I started drinking a lot more. I couldn’t handle life so I started taking drugs.

‘I started smoking crack cocaine, because I didn’t want to live.’

Marcy was unable to pay her bills or look after her children. Her daughter Noelle went away to live with her father, and Child Protection officers arrived at her home to assess the living conditions of her son Zay-den.

The stark effects of crack cocaine forced Marcy to realize that she had to enter rehab to save her life. “I knew I’d be dead in weeks, unless I did something,” she told The Daily Mail. That was on April 18 of this year. Miraculously, by the 23rd, she was in a treatment program.

Towards the end of rehab, news that Osama Bin Laden had been killed renewed her hope. “The death of Bin Laden helped focus my recovery, I used to lose sleep over him, have bad dreams about Bin Laden bombing my house, but now I have peace of mind,” Marcy explained to the British outlet.

Finishing the 28-day program in May was Marcy’s first step towards a new life. To millions around the world, Marcy might always be that emblem of terror — with clothes, hair and skin coated with dust. This photograph is so well-known, it was named one of Time Magazine’s ’25 most powerful images.’ But Marcy’s not that tortured woman anymore. That time of destruction is behind her.

She still keeps those clothes, though, as a relic of her trials and a reminder of all she is victorious over. She shares a new home with the children who have been returned to her care and her partner Donald Edwards. Marcy plans for much happier events like the graduation of her 18-year-old daughter from high school, as her three-year-old plays in the background.

After overcoming her addictions, deeply comforted by Bin Laden’s death, Marcy Borders is now free of old horrors, now becoming a new symbol. A symbol of the power of human beings to regenerate themselves through faith, hope and love.