Source: datesafeproject.org

What does “Love and Hip Hop” have in common with this year’s election? If you said nothing, then you, my friend, are correct. Well, to me anyway. According to many others in our community, if you find yourself tuned in to VH1′s epically bad, yet addicting, reality shows you are probably unaware of what is going in your community, national government, and world stage. I’ll give you a minute to side eye the hell out of that.

Excuse me, but I guess I was completely wrong for thinking that what a person considers entertainment/guilty pleasure in no way correlates to how active and productive they are in their community and political affairs. Yet, throughout the duration of the season of “Love and Hip Hop Atlanta,” and has now been replaced by “Basketball Wives LA,” tweets would filter into my otherwise peaceful and fun timeline chastising those who would tune in on Monday nights to laugh at Steebie J‘s rat face. My issue with this train of thought isn’t so much the fact that a person has mustered the audacity to attempt to wage forced influence on an adult’s choices; its more so that someone can be so high and mighty as to believe that there is no room for fun, or pardon my french — f***ery in life. That being concerned with the growing deportations of Africans in Israel, for example, is mutually exclusive and contingent upon me not losing myself in an hour of “As the Hood Turns (my little nickname for LHHATL).”

We should not feel the need to explain ourselves to a mentality that comes off so minute; to make people see reason with something so simple as enjoying a television program. But, such phony superior mentalities and arguments must be combated. It is simply preposterous to think you know someone and can define their tastes by every little thing they divulge in. Do I watch reality TV? Absolutely. But that doesn’t, in any shape or form, compose every inch of the woman I am.

I’m a former student of Political Science (who LOVES to read the Congressional Quarterly), and an active volunteer for President Obama’s reelection campaign. I am a woman who speaks two languages, and is sharpening her skills in a third. I am also a person who has served my country through a government program, and has based her career in extending educational resources for our children. But, I guess for some, all of that gets eclipsed by my love of reality soap operas. This air of superiority that some wade in blinds them to the fact that as complex creatures, we are capable of feeling more than one way at time, and can like things that don’t make us think too hard as much as we might follow political news channels and National Geographic specials. We are capable of immersing ourselves in work, and also in things that bring pleasure or a moment of ease and relaxation. Even if it comes in the most rachet of forms.

My watching reality shows does not mean I care any less about the disenfranchisement of voters in several states. What I do find peculiar is that those who hold themselves up to such standards usually are not as knowledgeable about the platforms they would like us to believe they’re protecting. “You so busy watching Joseline when you should be worried about the election.” That’s fantastic, but can you, my dear criticizer, name the point issues of the election, the key differences between the two parties, the accomplishments and unfinished work of the present administration, and the states that are suppressing voter rights? (Interestingly enough they usually can’t.)

There is a time for work and there is a time for play. No question about that. When it is time to get geared up about issues that are affecting our livelihood and our family and friends, I believe wholeheartedly that we should turn off the TVs and roll up our sleeves and get to work. But in order to be effective in our plans and our fights, we need periods of rest. We need to enjoy ourselves, have a couple of silly laughs, and be able to turn our brains off. And whether we are completely satisfied with it or not, reality TV helps many do just that. There is no way I could have aided over 100 adults in refocusing their lives in the past year if there was not something light to turn to and distract myself with at the end of the day; with such distractions including but not limited to good ole cheap television shows.

Blaming and shaming wins you no supporters. No one wants to side with a person who demeans them or judges them harshly. If you want supporters and team members for your cause, try a different route than bashing folks for enjoying the craziness that is reality TV. After all, you’ll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar….and judgmental tweets.

Source: Clutch

It is the arrogance of childhood that makes us think that we will grow up and be on equal footing with our best friends. We think we will go through the natural transitions of girlhood into womanhood – giving up dolls for make up and nail polish, prom dates, college, marriage and kids –at the same time. Some of us even go so far as designating each other as godmothers to nonexistent babies that are supposed to come after dream weddings. Yet, as we all know, life comes calling and its rare that these dreams are actualized the way we conjured them.

One of the biggest wake up calls of my 20s  is seeing how many of my close friends have fallen so far from their initial plans. Dream schools were picked out, majors declared, and fellowships verbally claimed…but that feels like so long ago. Friends who I thought would leave me envious are nowhere near enviable to me. When I look at my own life, I feel almost a bit of guilt. Out of all those whom I started my journey into womanhood with, only a couple of are still running alongside me,  gunning for the goals they had set out for themselves.

Yeah, I know we’re all adults. Me and my girls are, to a large degree, responsible for the ways our lives have shaped out so far and how they will continue to do so in the future. This is why the guilt I feel at times is so perplexing to me. Why should I feel guilty for doing what I said I was going to do? I shouldn’t feel as if I need to be an apologists for my achievements, and yet the sensations gnaws at me every time they inquire, “what’s new?” My mother told me I was going to leave many friends behind; that those I started out with, wouldn’t be the ones I would end with — but, that knowledge has not helped alleviate the sadness in the situation.

I, at times, sit and wonder, where the hell did things change so much? When did visions change? When were goals reassessed/forgotten/carelessly dismissed?! I could have sworn that my girls and I started off on the same page, but this may not be so. What pains me the most is no longer having much to talk about with these old friends of mine. The days of our long, winding conversations about nothing and everything are as foreign to me as an Eastern European language. We no longer have anything to talk about due to the differing cultures of our lives. I cannot understand their lamentations of their husbands and/or children, because I don’t have them. And they, cannot understand my lamentations on my burgeoning career and single-girl expeditions, because that are the contents of my life, and my life alone.

More on Madame Noire!

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• Secret Lover: Signs He May Be Hiding Something From You
• All The Single Ladies! Grown and Gorgeous Celebs Who Are Single and Satisfied!
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• Because a Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste: Celebs Who Attended Ivy League Universities

By Blair Bedford

A “bucket” list, as many might recall, is a list of accomplishments and encounters to experience before passing away. From skydiving to visiting a new country, bucket lists are complete with goals that round off the complete picture of living life to its fullest.
Create a bucket list for your job to help you reach certain goals, make moves, and make your work more about making it to the top and enjoying your job rather than just about getting paid. You might have a few goals in mind for how you want to conquer your latest career move, but here are a few other professional objectives to include on your bucket list to maximize the experience in your career and your resume at the same time:

Just a few months ago the nation suffered a huge loss from the death of Dr. Dorothy Height. Almost a year ago I interviewed her about the National Council of Negro Women’s obesity initiative. Being the month after President Obama’s inauguration she told me, “We’ve reached a historic point. We have an African-American president. And really, having an African-American family in the White House ought to be an incentive to all of us.”

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(Work Bloom) — One very valuable piece of advice that can help you excel at work, is to document and record the best pieces of your work history. YOU need to track your successes. Keep a folder of your significant accomplishments as well as notes, emails and letters that you have received from fellow staff, supervisors and customers. Make it a habit to request letters of recommendation and keep copies of job descriptions and announcements concerning your position that come out in email. The goal is to create a sellable brand for yourself. In return- sellable brands are paid more and they receive the best assignments. Think of yourself as a corporation. You own all rights and advertising permissions for you. Tracking your success is an important ingredient in your journey to the next level of pay and status at your company.

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