All Articles Tagged "abuse"
Sir, Who Asked You? Chris Brown’s Dad Talks About Why He Doesn’t Think Chris & Rihanna Should Be Together
Well, apparently, somebody asked this man to open his mouth.
The NY Daily News caught up to Chris Brown’s dad, Clinton, to talk to him about his son and Rihanna’s relationship. Seeing as though we’ve never heard much from him in the past, you know he took every opportunity to chat it up.
When asked about the twosome, Brown said:
“I personally really didn’t want him and Rihanna back together. You have to have a balance in a relationship. You have to have someone who is spontaneous and whimsical but you also have to have someone who is grounded and logical.”
You know, it’s not that what he’s saying is incorrect but why even talk about it? I get it, everyone else has publicly had their say so why not Papa Brown? But by now, he should know that neither Chris nor Rihanna care about what people say about their relationship.
Clinton also added that his pick for his son would have been Jordin Sparks who he called a “wholesome young lady” who’s also very pretty. A few years ago, Jordin would have agreed with him because she had quite the crush on him for a long time.
Thankfully, he didn’t “down” Rihanna. He said he met her a few years ago during the first go ’round of “Chrianna” and said she was very respectful and polite. Still, he just feels like his son could have moved on from her and found someone better.
I wonder if Chris or Rihanna will respond to this story. Neither of them is known for staying quiet when someone has something to say about them.
What do you think? Should Chris’ father just have stayed quiet about this whole thing, especially since the “talk” has died down a lot?
When Iyanla Vanzant sits down with DMX, everyone had better tune in with a notebook and pencil because it’s going to be explosive. Vanzant meets the embattled rapper on the season 2 premiere of Iyanla: Fix My Life to offer “support” around his issues with drug abuse, women, his extensive arrest record (“roughly 30 times,” he tells her), and his relationship with his family, particularly his son.
Vanzant spoke to ESSENCE.com about the episode, where she thinks DMX went wrong, and what we can all learn from him.
On where she thinks DMX went wrong in his life:
I don’t think that he went wrong. All of us have ways in which we mask and cover our pain. This is a man who is in a tremendous amount of pain. Some of us eat; some of us shop or eat chocolate. What he is doing is a less socially acceptable way to mask and cover his pain because he doesn’t have the skills and the tools to deal with it otherwise. So I don’t think he went wrong, it’s just a defense mechanism.
The breakthrough moment:
Sometimes you go on to do one thing and something else unfolds. When you’re dealing with the ravages of long-term drug abuse you’re also dealing with the impact of the entire ecology of the environment. What we discovered was that the greatest healing was for his son Xavier who had not had the ability to address what he was feeling about his father. Xavier really got the biggest breakthrough.
This was a really good interview and you can read the rest over at Essence.com. While this episode is clearly going to give us every level of entertainment we need, it is possibly the chance for us to learn something about ourselves and not just using it as a moment to laugh at someone else’s situation.
The second season of Iyanla: Fix My Life premieres tonight at 9p ET on OWN. Will you be watching?
Former Nanny Stings Kim Porter With Lawsuit, Alleges That Kim Abused Her And Used Drugs Around The Twins
Kim Porter may be in need of a “fixer” right now, as the mom of four has found herself in the midst of a scandal that has the potential to be quite damaging. TMZ reports that Dawn Drago, a woman who says she worked as Porter’s nanny from 2011 to 2012 is suing her for an undisclosed amount.
Let’s start with why Drago is suing. It is being reported that the former nanny alleges that Porter “verbally and violently” abused her. She also claims that Porter frequently chain-smoked marijuana around the twin daughters she shares with hip-hop mogul, Sean “Diddy” Combs, which sort of leads into why she isn’t Porter’s nanny anymore. Drago claims that she was fired last year after confronting Porter about the heavy amounts of marijuana being used in the house and complaining that all of the smoke was choking her.
The Combs children’s former caregiver went on to allege that marijuana wasn’t the only drug that Kim indulged in, but says that she also found coc*ine during the time she was employed by Porter. She recounted one occasion in particular, where she was driving the children to school and noticed that they had a “white powdery substance” all over them. According to Drago, the children had somehow gotten into ”a bag containing the powder, along with clear capsules, filled with another powdery substance in a bag in the back seat.” When confronted about it, Drago says Kim claimed the bag “contained medicine.”
Court papers were filed on behalf of Drago by attorney Patrick Reider.
I like to think I’m a bit of an expert when it comes to my grandmother. Now, I know I couldn’t possibly know everything about her storied past; but I know when it comes to family who knows the most about my now deceased grandmother, I’m at least top 10. But yesterday, my mother shocked me with a bit of new information.
In general, most of the women in my family regard men who’ve yet to prove themselves as a threat. Trouble. People you have to keep both eyes on. They can never catch you slippin.’ Judging by some of the scandalous stories I’ve heard over the years, I can understand why. But just when I think the women in my family are taking things a bit too far, they tell me another outlandish story that lets me know maybe they aren’t so paranoid after all.
Yesterday, after work I decided to do a little shopping. As I was walking around picking up a few things, I was also catching up with my mother. I was telling her how one of my friends; who my mom also knows very well is thinking of breaking up with her current boyfriend. Not because he’s done anything wrong she just feels like their time together has come to an end. I was expecting my mom to immediately and feverently support the maturity and independence of that decision. Instead, she said “umph.” Now, I don’t know about your family dynamic or where you come from. But when it comes to my mother, umph can run the gamut from strongly agree to a polite way of saying “what the hell?!?” In this instance, that umph meant she was about to issue a warning.
“Well, tell her to be careful with that.”
I was too confused. Be careful. If she’s no longer fulfilled by the relationship why should she be careful in expressing that sentiment.
“Because girl, these men out here are crazy.”
Well, yeah. We’ve known that. But is staying with someone just because homeboy might be crazy really a good enough reason to stay in that relationship? My mother made it clear that she wasn’t suggesting that my friend stay with her boyfriend; but that she ease out of the situation.
“You know your grandmother had a crazy boyfriend.”
Huh? I’d only known my grandmother to have two serious boyfriends. The man before my grandfather, the one she really loved, and my grandfather. I’d never heard about this crazy one before.
I asked my mom what he did.
“He threw acid on all of her clothes. He broke into her room and threw acid on her clothes. And he thought she was in there, he was trying to throw acid on her too.”
Well dang! Not only had I never heard that story before it immediately made me think about my friend’s safety and whether the guy she’d been dating had the potential to flip out like my grandmother’s boyfriend did back in the day.
Are these violent break ups common? Have you ever experienced one? Any of you have tips on how to break up with someone, whether they’ve proven to be violent or not, safely?
This man just can’t keep his hands to himself.
Former NFL running back Larry Johnson was arrested in Las Vegas on Friday night, once again for domestic violence. At the time of the arrest, police would only say that he was accused of strangling someone and his bail had been set at $15,000. But as the night progressed, it was revealed that the victim (name still withheld) is actually Larry’s ex-girlfriend of four years, according to TMZ. When the police reached the Bellagio hotel where the incident occurred, the victim was allegedly crying and had bruises on her neck. According to police, the victim said she’d been strangled to the point of unconsciousness.
The sad thing is that this isn’t the first time Johnson has been arrested for assault. His entire football career, which has been non-existent for quite some time, has been marred by these arrests. He’s been arrested four times since 2008; all arrests have been on the heels of him assaulting a woman. In 2011, he was arrested for allegedly beating a man down on Miami Beach.
I’m sure his ex-girlfriend, television personality and Empire Girls star Julissa Bermudez is glad she no longer has to deal with that. He also used to be best friends – and oddly enough, roommates – with Jay-Z but as we all know, Jay tries to steer clear of anyone that can negatively affect his business.
Seriously though, his sick behavior is extremely disturbing. Women still tend to gravitate to him (I can’t tell you the number of conversations I’ve heard where women say they’d still date this guy knowing his history) because of his looks but when his pattern allegedly seems to be beating you up, there are enough good looks in the world that should want to make you go down that route.
Larry is being held in a Clark County jail until he is able to see a judge.
I guess at some point, you have to put things behind you.
If you follow boxing superstar Floyd Mayweather, you know he he served two months in jail for assaulting his ex-girlfriend and childrens’ mother, Josie Harris, in 2010 (he plead guilty to misdemeanor domestic violence). Josie said Floyd hit her a few times and threatened to kill her all while their kids were present.
Somehow, TMZ spoke to Josie earlier this week and she has decided to let bygones be bygones. She told them:
S**t happens. I’m not mad at him at all … I love Floyd to death. Floyd loves his kids and is a great father. He would never do anything like that again … I’m sorry the situation happened … now we will just progress and start over and move forward together.”
Now before we go reading her for this profession of forgiveness, we have to keep in mind that they have three children together and it is important that parents try to be as cordial as possible so they’re able to effectively raise their children. In that respect, I get it; you have to work to get to a good place so that your children won’t suffer. I know they haven’t been on the best terms in recent months so it couldn’t have been easy for her to say and believe her own statement.
That said, I’m not sure how she got to the “s**t happens” part or how she figures he’ll never do anything like that again. Abuse doesn’t “just happen” and the first time it happens does not tend to be the last. Of course, they aren’t together anymore so it just may not happen to her but she should probably be careful when saying he would NEVER do something like that again. I’m sure she didn’t expect him to hit her when he did either. I can’t understand why she’s sorry it happened; has he said he’s sorry for this too?
The profession of love and just the entire statement seems…weird. If you read too deep into it – and who doesn’t – it almost sounds like she was paid to say that or will be paid for speaking so highly of him. Whatever it is, I’m sure their children are just glad they’re getting along.
What do you think? Can you just “get back to love” after an assault at the hands of your significant other happens?
Lord, this child has a mouth on her. K. Michelle refuses to let anyone but her have the last word—especially not Toya Wright—so it should come as no surprise that she has something to say in response to Toya’s recent comments during the Talking with Tami bruncheon in Atlanta.
Though Toya kept her remarks mostly classy—poor grammar aside—K. Michelle went straight Memphis on that arse. The Jasmine Brand caught the slaying tweets that it appears have now been deleted.
@ToyaWright enough of the BS. I have no problem with u. I’m gonna tell my story. This was way b4 u. So 4u 2try and bash me is just pathetic
I’m not crazy enough to not have custody of my son, but I am crazy enough to slap the Shyte out of u. On sight
be careful for what u ask for! I got yo proof it’s on yo finger # my budget paid for that.I need proof That u have a GED!
you told ur story, I have a right to tell mine. So stop talkin s**t about something u know nothing about. I’m from Memphis!
I don’t think anybody is taking away from K. Michelle’s right to tell her story, but at this point how many times are you going to tell it? I imagine she has some others of equal value, share those. If Toya said nothing else right about this entire situation, K. Michelle needs to put her music before petty beefing.
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In response to K. Michelle’s accusation that Memphitz abused her while they were dating, the music executive took to Instagram and indadvertedly lended a serious amount of credibility to her story.
In case you have no clue who these people are: K. Michelle is a singer and castmember on VH1′s new hit show “Love and Hip Hop Atlanta”. Mickey “Memphitz” Wright is a music executive and just celebrated his first wedding anniversary with Toya Carter Wright (Lil Wayne’s ex-wife and the “Toya” of BET’s Tiny and Toya).
As we explained yesterday, “the back story is K. used to date Memphitz before he married Toya and though K. Michelle didn’t name names, she did disclose on the premiere that she used to be in love with a man who helped her get a $2 million dollar record deal but said he eventually ‘beat her a**’ and left her with nothing.”
Memphitz was celebrating his anniversary in Paris when the show aired, but they don’t call it the World Wide Web for nothing. As Bossip reported: the music exec responded to the accusations via Instagram posting a photo of Pinocchio and saying:
As I was installing the Teeth, T**ties, & A** you’re Flaunting, I forgot to tell you about the Growing Nose I threw in Pinocchio. Lol. @kmichelle I made you. -Mr. Gepetto
To which K. Michelle responded via Twitter (of course):
A persons true colors will always show. Never fight a battle that God already won for u. I’m still standing.
First of all, someone needs to tell Memphitz that telling a woman you “made” her makes you sound like a psycho, woman beater. Granted, K. Michelle could have let sleeping dogs lie, but her past is part of her story and she is free to talk about it. Domestic violence is serious and instead of Memphitz showing any type of remorse for what he did, he so arrogantly continues to dogg her on a public forum. Who does that? K. Michelle definitely took a road higher than most by skipping the opportunity to insinuate that Toya is with the same Memphitz she was. But with a response like that, it’s hard to believe he’s changed very much.
What do you think about the K. Michelle/Memphitz situation?
Alissa Henry is a freelance writer living in Columbus, OH. Follow her on Twitter @AlissaInPink
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My Story: For Colored Girls Who’ve Considered Suicide When the Law Couldn’t Protect Them From Incest
Before the barrage of Tyler Perry movies that uncovered family secrets and before the Oscar nods for Monique’s depiction in “Precious” of the horrors of child abuse, I was 5. He was strong. There were no camera crews to capture my anguish, no protests in honor of my tears, and no advocates to collect my screams. I’d begin to learn that the law does little to protect you if your molester is in your immediate family.
Incest is not punishable in the state of New Jersey if both the perpetrator and the victim are over the age of 18. In fact, it’s perfectly legal. The law which fiercely penalizes rape and sexual assault coughs and turns its head when the perpetrator lives under your roof. The problem with New Jersey’s law is that many children are too scared and/or confused to prosecute or testify against someone so close. It’s a hurdle most us are terrified of attempting so we wait. We wait normally until adulthood when we can finally formulate the words to confront our captors and by then it’s too late to seek retribution because in New Jersey (and several other states) it’s legal. Some would say there are laws against molestation and abuse but proving them is difficult. In an article by Janice Friedman she sums up how I felt, “Imagine, if you aren’t marked up or if you’ve been drugged, you won’t be a victim, you’ll be an accuser.”
So I lived with him day after day caught in a suburban prison. I cooked breakfast every morning− scrambled eggs, fried potatoes with onions and cheddar cheese and poured him orange juice in an burgundy mug that ironically had a scripture about forgiveness on the front. If the butter happened to turn brown in the pan and tint his sunny scrambled eggs I could be sure that it would warrant punishment. Yet, the love of a child is unconditional and I grew to love him and justify his sordid ways as a coping mechanism. A child’s mind will justify heinous things the best way it knows how because a child cannot fathom that a person so close to them would ever intentionally hurt them. So sex is justified by statements like “he loves me the way he loves Mommy.” However, as I grew older the love I once felt turned into resentment and resentment turned to hate.
What price can be put on a stolen childhood? When people ask me why I look so young, I respond that I’d like to think God gave me the gift of youth because my childhood was taken from me. I never prosecuted the man who hurt me. I was 24 when I came forward and he was forced to confess. Some people ask “why did you wait so long?” “Why are you airing the dirty laundry now?” Fear crippled me. I knew a secret like that would tear our family apart. I knew it would make things difficult. There would be pain. There would be tears. So, I waited. Even now that he is no longer a part of my life; learning to forgive has been a difficult road for me. However, my pastor said that as long as I chose to hold onto anger, his power over me would remain just as strong as it was all of those years ago. I. Forgive. Him.
All of us carry pieces of our past into our future. Some of us are blessed enough to recover from tragic moments in our lives. However, there are those who cannot drown out the nightmares called memories. This…what I’m writing… is for them. It was in realizing that I am not a ‘victim’ but a survivor that I was able to overcome the past and forgive. Some of us have survived trauma that others would commit suicide over. This is the harsh reality of the disparity in our penal system. America obsesses over the trivial details of their lives and somewhere a little girl decides between cooking “him” breakfast and kingdom come.
If you have a story you’d like to share or a question you want to ask, feel free to comment below to communicate with Danni.
Quit Crying Mayweather! The One-Two Punch Of Staying In Jail Doesn’t Compare To The Ones You Laid On Your Girl
To be an undefeated, five-division World Champion boxer, Floyd Mayweather Jr. is definitely acting like a wimp.
Mayweather went to jail on June 1st after pleading guilty to domestic battery for beating his girlfriend, threatening her and threatening two of their three kids. He was supposed to report earlier, but the judge allowed him to delay his reporting date so he could fight on Cinco De Mayo. Now, just 12 days after going to jail, the boxer’s lawyers have asked the judge to let him serve the remainder of his jail sentence from home. Why? Well, according to FoxSports.com, Mayweather says the low-quality food and water have threatened his health and he is losing muscle tone which puts his boxing career in jeopardy.
Cry me a river.
Not surprisingly, Las Vegas Judge Melissa Saragosa denied his request.
After being taken into custody to begin his sentence in a domestic violence case, Mayweather “discovered his subjective understanding” of jail conditions “was inaccurate,” Judge Melissa Saragosa wrote in a decision Wednesday that voided a scheduled Thursday hearing on the matter. “These facts do not give rise to jurisdiction of this court to modify defendant’s sentence.”
Saragosa was told by Mayweather’s attorneys that the boxer’s plan to fight for two more years was in danger because jail deprives him of proper nutrition and exercise. In a 35-page request, the attorneys cited a doctor’s report that said Mayweather’s caloric intake was one-fifth as much as it was outside jail and that isolation effectively stops him from exercise.
Mayweather began an 87-day jail sentence on June 1 after pleading to domestic battery for a physical confrontation with the mother of his three children.
“The court finds the alleged dehydration of the defendant to be self-induced as water is made available to him 24 hours a day,” Saragosa wrote. “The court further finds the estimated intake of only 800 calories per day is also self-induced as defendant chooses not to eat the food provided.”
Saragosa added the physical training areas “may not be consistent with his prior regimen,” but, “he is indeed provided sufficient space and time for physical activity if he so chooses.”
Like the old saying goes: If you can’t do the time, then don’t do the crime. As if a man hitting his girlfriend isn’t enough, Mayweather is a professional boxer who hit his girlfriend in front of their two kids. He faced 34 years in prison and got a mere 90 days and now he is asking to serve the time at home? On what grounds? The fact that, as Fox Sports reported, he isn’t drinking enough because he isn’t allowed bottled water and doesn’t enjoy tap?
This kind of hubris is definitely not limited to Mayweather, but it is a prime example of celebrities thinking they should nearly get away with murder in the case of battering women. When Michael Vick was convicted of dogfighting, he was sentenced to 23 months in prison (I think he ended up serving 19). In comparison, Mayweather received a slap on the wrist for a more egregious crime. Then again, Pastor Creflo Dollar is still preaching on Sundays despite being accused of punching his 15-year-old daughter. How is that legal?
I definitely don’t support the lock-em-in-jail-and-throw-away-the-key justice system when it comes to black men in our country. But I also think there is a time to be held accountable for physically abusing women whether you’re Joe Blow living in Detroit, a top-selling R&B singer, the biggest pastor in Atlanta, or an undefeated pro boxer. Especially a pro boxer.
It’s sad that Mayweather is having to spend time away from his kids in order to spend time in solitary confinement, but maybe this will be a lesson to his own kids that, despite their father doing it in front of them, it’s not okay to be hit on by your boyfriend or to hit your girlfriend. Jail is not a five-star hotel, it’s punishment. Requesting to go back to your mansion in lieu of serving your time in jail is ridiculous. If Mayweather’s career is that important to him then maybe he should have saved his punches for the boxing ring instead of laying them on his girlfriend.
What do you think about Mayweather’s request to serve the rest of his sentence on house arrest?
Alissa Henry is a freelance writer living in Columbus, OH. Follow her on Twitter @AlissaInPink or check out her blog This Cannot Be My Life
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