Are Social Networks Ruining Your Relationships?

November 29, 2011  |  

by Quierra Davis-Martin

Our generation has recently become obsessed with a new and exciting way of life. Facebook and Twitter! People use social networks for many different reasons. To connect with old friends, to express their deepest thoughts or to simply just feel important. Sure social networks can be fun and useful but things can sometimes turn awfully wrong in terms of how it an affect your work environment or your relationship.

Unfortunately I’ve watched Twitter and Facebook destroy so many friendships and relationships that it really saddens me. We all forget sometime that perception is everything. What you see as innocent may not translate that way to your boyfriend, girlfriend or boss. You also have people who love to gossip and who are patiently waiting for that opportunity to run and tell you all of the updates they’ve been seeing over the weekend. A friend of mine is on the verge of a break up right now because of this.

If you’re in a committed relationship, please post and tweet smartly. Before you post or tweet something, think about how your significant other would feel about it. Facebook and Twitter have already made it much harder on the gentlemen out there. This is why so many guys, especially with suspect pasts, delete their Facebook when they meet a woman they’d like to get serious with.

If you’re expressing your life problems and every move you make on social networks then people can and will start to use it against you. Women no longer need to snoop or go through their man’s phone like in the past. Having social networks makes it much easier to keep tabs on a guy.

You’d think because of this that men would be a little more selective in what they discuss on Facebook and Twitter. After a Friday night at the club and too much drinking is when men head to Twitter to talk about all the fine women and crazy things they’ve done that night. Even if everything written is completely innocent, it can still cause tension and unnecessary arguments in a relationship just based off of “perception.” If your close friends follow your man on Twitter or Facebook they will naturally look at everything with a raised eyebrow. The smallest mundane things will look like deceit to a close friend or family member when it’s actually nothing.

It is also important that when you first meet someone that you really like, not to exchange Facebook or Twitter information with them. This will ruin any good chance of a future. The other person will be watching you too closely and will perceive certain things in a manner probably bigger then what it actually is. Women will be tempted to browse through her date’s profile page, read comments and look for pictures with women. This is not a good idea when you’re first meeting a guy. It’s usually not a good idea to become Facebook and Twitter friends until you and that person are in an exclusive relationship.

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  • Dr. Claudia L. Brown

    What an insightful person you are!!! You are so correct when it comes to your advice about the social networks. I left Facebook because I am a public figure who must guard my constituents against slanderous remarks against me. If they are to trust my judgement and advice, I must be careful not to let others misuse my trust. They (family and friends) may make comments that seem harmless to them, but may seem otherwise to viewers who see you in a totally different way. We have to protect our own reputations. That is no one’s responsibility but our own. If it is ruined, it is our own fault for not thinking about ways to keep the image we work hard to have for ourselves, our true selves. Thank you, Madam Noire!

  • Live_in_LDN

    The 1st guy i started seeing seriously, instead of asking for my number, he gave me his business card and told me to add him on facebook. On our 1st date he already created a character profile of me in his head based on my facebook page.  His assumptions of me were amazing. Things went downhill fast. He kept on fixating on everyone I added and if I were dating them, including my uncle!

    I only accept family requests to be polite.

    I don’t post anything personal on my facebook. I use it solely for networking and NOT a personal diary as some people do.

  • Numero

    Sometimes people take you there, BUT… it aint a good thing! Regret doing it, but it made me feel good at the time.

  • how pathetic do you have to be to get divorce over twitter/facebook

  • Guest24

    I keep my relationship seperate from social networks.

  • LaLaLaMeansILoveYou

    I say let’m hang. If you’re stupid enough to put every aspect of your life, whereabouts, personal thoughts, and grievances on the INTERNET, then whatever happens to you because of it is a well deserved lesson.

  • Sugar_Spice

    According to a report I read in Guardian, Social media & text messaging was one of the leading causes for divorce in 2010.  To me the people on these sites that start drama are chickens who wouldn’t otherwise say anything to a persons face.  I don’t blame the sites at all because I don’t think stuff was this bad when Blackplanet, Myspace, & so forth were big.

  • RahTruth

    It’s very convenient to blame the social network. But….people ruin their own relationships by they way they use the networks. Blame the person, not the network!

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