Relationships should be based on honesty; but just like most things in life, even this concept has its stipulations. Honesty simply means being truthful. Honesty is a key component in the foundation of a relationship; and we all know what happens when a foundation is flawed; but does honesty also mean being completely open about everything? Or is it just as important to keep certain things from your man as it is to be honest with him? Not being completely open doesn’t automatically qualify you as being dishonest… or does it?
A few years ago I decided that I would be completely honest in my next relationship, even if it hurt. I made it a priority to be straightforward and open about every question that my significant other asked and even those questions that he didn’t. Nothing was barred, as I attempted to be the most open and honest I had ever been in a relationship. Needless to say, I realized that exposing too much was almost just as bad as not exposing enough.
Just as the age old adage goes ‘some things are better left unsaid’. This holds enormous truth to relationships. While your man may want to know that you’ve previously dated someone he knows, he may not want to know that you were initially attracted to his best friend but he asked for your number first; or that you got a bit tipsy and harmlessly flirted with the bartender on your last girls’ night out. Your man doesn’t need to know that every man you dated before him had more money; or even that at one low point in your life you indulged in unlady-like behavior while in college. The past is the past, and if it won’t physically mess with his health or morally toy with his mind, does he really need to know?
While every relationship differs and some people work better exposing everything (I can’t say that I know of any), I do know that my rant of excessive openness left me with a broken heart from a man with a bruised ego, courtesy of me. And while it’s important to attempt complete honesty in a relationship, there really are some things that men don’t have to know about a woman’s past, thoughts, or feelings.
This is not to get confused with serious issues. With the increasing rate of STD cases or almost even scarier, ‘baby mama drama’, it’s important to have honest conversations about sexual history and details of previous relationships if they could possibly affect your future. However, what you ‘did in Vegas’ before him, should stay in Vegas, if you didn’t bring anything back with you.
Your man doesn’t need to know all of your embarrassing moments or how many times you’ve thought of your ex in the last month, if you haven’t acted on the urge. Being honest means being truthful, but does it really have to mean you tell your man everything?
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