What I Would Tell My Teenage Self About Bullying and Suicide

November 23rd, 2011 - By Charing Ball

"charing ball"Late last year, syndicated columnist and author Dan Savage, along with his partner, created a YouTube video addressed to young people of the LGBT community.  The video was meant to inspire hope that although things are tough now, it will get better.  After the response the video received nationally, the single video morphed into the “It Gets Better” Project, which featured similar video testimonies from those within the LGBT communities to those kids around the country, who might be subjected to ridicule and bullying or who may have contemplated suicide because of their sexuality.

The videos, which last no more than 5-10 minutes are sometimes emotional and most times inspirational. They send a positive message to young people that it is possible to not only survive their teen years but that there is a whole world of more accepting people awaiting them. I love the ideas of these videos.  In fact, I began to believe that we need a similar project for little black kids.

Like last week, I read the gut-wrenching story of 10 year-old Jasmine McClain, who was found hanging in her bedroom. Her death had been ruled a suicide and many people suspect that she took her own life after enduring vicious bullying at school.  Her tormentors took issues with her clothing and shoes; therefore, they felt that they were in the right to make her short existence on earth a living hell.

The story may seems out of the norm, especially with the widespread belief that black people just don’t one-themselves, however we are beginning to become more aware of stories of young black children, particularly girl children, contemplating or successfully committing suicide. Just a few days after McClain took her life came the less publicized story of 16-year old Shayna McEntire, an honor roll student and star athlete, who walked into traffic and killed herself.  Her decision to end her life came after a painful breakup with her boyfriend.

According to a study, published in 2009, Black American teens, especially females, may be at high risk for attempting suicide. Generally speaking, suicide is the third leading cause of death in all teens in the United States and historically, black teens and young adults have lower suicide rates than white teens. But according to the study, in recent years the suicide rate for black youth has increased dramatically, especially among African American and Caribbean teen girls. There is some research, which suggests that because minority children often encounter racism in their daily lives, they are more prone to symptoms of depression. However, racial dynamics aside, our youth, particularly our little girls must endure criticism intra-racially about issues regarding their hair, skin tones and bodies. The kind of ostracization may lead some black youth vulnerable to low self-image, depression and yes even suicidal thoughts.

More from StyleBlazer
More from MommyNoire

Comment Disclaimer

Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1539275860 Priscilla Brantley

    i was bullied from the 4th through the 7th grade…  maybe even the 8th.  it was done by 3 girls in particular:  eugenia d., lisa g., & denise p.  they had an issue w/the fact that i although i was overweight, i was a bright student who did not curse, hangout, or do anything which would warrant a visit to the principal’s office or a call to my parents.  they made my life a living hell!  but if i could talk to that young girl, i would tell her to let her parents and older siblings know what what was going on.  it’s too much for a child to handle alone.  in my feeble attempt to do so, i began to pretend to be sick to keep from being tortured on a daily.  i also stopped raising my hand so much in class for fear of being referred to as the “teacher’s pet”.  i would tell my younger self to study even harder because somewhere down the line we’ll meet again and THIS time you may be the deciding factor on whether they get the job, house, loan, etc.

    for those of you who have ever bullied someone, i pray that you never have to witness the pain in your child’s eyes when it happens to them.

  • Odrama14

    I am still trying to talk to myself. My younger self recieved such harsh judgement for so long that she adpoted it as her own self script. If you ever have to talk yourself into believing your own self worth just to leave your house then you get the pain these kids feel. I lost my younger brother to suicide, while I could never inflict that pain on my parents again, the struggle to ignore that script is exhaustring. Please release your video to youtube please help someone else so that they don’t have this battle.

    • Sugar_Spice

      I am so sorry about your brother.  Taking that way out was tempting at times when I was a teenager because like you said, it gets very exhausting.

  • Candii Rainz

    If I was able to talk to my younger self……I would tell her that everything will be ok… YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.  You are going to grow up to be a beautiful young lady, and being a heavy girl, there’s nothing wrong with that (you’ll lose the weight).  Inner beauty is more important than outer beauty.  Continue to work hard, and KEEP YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH.  This too will pass, and you’ll become a stronger and better person from it.

  • bobster

    please release this on youtube or something i don’t think all black girls are aware of this website and this issue seriously needs to be addressed

  • Sugar_Spice

    I would tell myself that those girls who used to torture you for being too tall & skinny & claimed you had an eating disorder are wounded themselves. That they were just jealous that you were approachable & just wanted to bring you down.  I would tell myself to continue to be involved in schools clubs so I have a positive outlet & to talk to someone, anyone.  I would also tell myself to reach out to someone who needs a friend.  Kids can be very very cruel & think these same kids are bullied at home