It’s always funny to me how when walking down the street with a bun no one knows I exist. Then two hours later when I walk down that same block leaving the shop, suddenly every man is all up on me just because the wind caught hold of a tress. The down side of a man admiring your hair that much is that it feels like a limiting obsession— you do know I have more going for me than this, right? Nerve.com recently talked about dreadlocks as a tool of attraction and one woman said tons of men have viewed her hair alone as a come-on. This sister says men have fetishized her locs for years, making comments like, “Oh, I’d just love to have sex with you and pull your dreads.” On the flip side though, she’s been told, “Oh, you’re so beautiful, but I can’t bring you home to my parents.”
Dr. Drew asked the first man in the audience if he understood how men play into women’s hair issues, but I really don’t think they do. Shortly after, another man in the audience caught a little flack when he said he was fine with women having natural hair but later remarked that if his kid had nappy hair he would take the boy to the barber shop to get it cut off. I’m pretty sure he was trying to make that point that if his son’s hair appeared unkept he would take him for a shape up, but by his use of the word nappy, the women got on him for sending mixed messages.
We can easily say “who cares what these men think,” but the truth is we do for the most part. Perhaps not so much that we would totally alter our hair texture (although some do with chemicals or weaves). But we want to attract men and be admired by the men in our lives for our physical beauty, and hair is a part of that. Getting noticed for internal beauty is another important level of love.
How much do men’s opinions affect your hair choices? Have you ever had a man fetishize you for your tresses? How did you react?
Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.
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