Why You’re Attracted To Older Men

November 23, 2011  |  
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Some call it the “Sugar Daddy Syndrome” while others call it the “Daddy issues” complex and it seems like everybody has a strong opinion about it.  A lot of people have no problem with it, while many find it sick and perverted. Regardless of your own personal views, young women dating older men is a worldwide phenomenon that is gaining popularity and acceptance at an alarming rate.  But, why?  And what is attracting these young, attractive women, to settle down with slow-paced, elderly men?  We all know the gold-digger issue, but other than that, what gives?  Check out these 7 reasons women seem to be ditching the bar scene, and heading for the retirement center.


1. You crave financial stability

Older men are generally more financially stable tan younger men as they have had a longer time for education and experience in the work world.  It also means your life, as a woman, could be more secure and comfortable.  Let’s got forget the future either, he probably has some serious pension/social security money coming to him down the line too!

2. You lacked a father figure

Older men instinctively have paternal instincts and may pamper his spouse more than a younger man.  He will also take on some sort of authoritative role in your life and take charge.  Some women seek to find a man that reminds them of their father, whom they loved and admired throughout their childhood.  On the other hand, some women, who lacked a stable male figure while growing up, might still be on the hunt for this leadership role in their lives.  At a certain point they will stop looking for a father, and start looking for a mate.

3. You are attracted to maturity

Older men have generally been through more ups and downs in their lives and therefore act more mature than their younger counterparts.  Older men have made, or seen, all the mistakes made in the dating game and has, hopefully, learned what not to do.  At the same time, they experience some great times and know exactly how to treat a woman and respect her feelings.

4. Children are not your #1 priority

Older men often either already have children of their own, or may not be opento having more (or able to!).  Some young women find this very appealing and therefore find older men more attractive than younger men for a life-long mate.  Deciding to have children or not can be a huge stress in any relationship, financially, emotionally and physically. Children add a huge element to a couple’s life.  All of their focus is soon directed at their kiddo, instead of themselves.  For younger couples this idea of giving up the spotlight is less than appealing.  However, some women feel the pressure to have kids, yet truly have no desire to do so.  Enter the older man, who cannot, or will not have children.  A perfect fit.

5. You’re afraid of cheaters

With more life experiences, generally come more relationships.  Older men tend to be more devoted to their partners and normally do not run around flirting and sleeping with a bunch of women – they already did that in their 20s!  They’ve moved on from the promiscuous phase, and are actually ready to settle and ditch their boyish dating games.  Women who have a history of being cheated on, most likely still hold a paranoia and deep emotional scar that they are scared to have re-opened.  Typically, older men are less likely to cheat, but be sure that that behavior is not in their past.  Just because they are older, doesn’t mean they are saints, it only suggests that they are less likely to cheat than younger men.

6. You’re a tad bit lazy

Older men typically do not have the same kind of energy as younger men and therefore don’t need to be pleased in the bedroom as often.  He might also have enough bedroom experience to know exactly how to please you, so that your intimate time becomes more about quality than quantity.  Some younger women grow tired of dealing with inexperienced younger men, and therefore this scenario is perfect.

7. Chivalry is #1

If forgetting to pull out your chair or open up your door really is a deal breaker for you, then an older man might just be your ticket to chivalry-ville.  The generation before yours, and before that, grew up in a culture filled with male chivalry.  In movies, TV shows, and real life, men in the 1950s were not only trained to cater to women, it was the social norm.  If it really makes you mad when a man doesn’t let you walk through the door first, or doesn’t take your coat for you when you enter a building, then an old man accustomed to this behavior might be right for you.

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  • The Older the Better

    I love old men! The older the better. It has nothing to do with daddy issues or gold-digging. I’m just insanely attracted to them and believe it or not, have more in common with them. It’s been as natural to me as anything I’ve known and why should I deny it? I’ve been attracted to older men since I was very young, always having a crush on my teacher the like. The first much older man I ever slept with was when I was 22 and he was 58. We were intimate friends until I was 26 and he was 62. I have been with many older men since, usually in their early 60s, and bad sex has never been an issue. I’ve only had what I would consider bad sex with men in my age range. But I think a lot of that is because I am way more turned on with an older man. Don’t judge a relationship just because you don’t understand it. If I want to make an old, forgotten man happy and it turns me on to do so, what is wrong? I learn from someone in a different stage of life than me and he feels wanted again. I love being that breath of fresh life in them. It makes me feel special. You may think it is odd but like I said, it has always been very natural for me. I had a perfectly normal relationship with my father and I don’t sleep with older men for their money. I get everything I want out of the relationship just by spending time and being with them. I don’t want to get married and I don’t want to have kids. I have my own life.

  • Tiyana

    Maturity? That’s not the reason at all! If I had just wanted a mature guy, I could find one my own age. No, there is only one difference between old men and young men; it’s their age. I’m 25 years old and I LOVE old men (60+) because I’m super attracted to their older bodies. White hair, large belly, sagging skin, age spots, all of it turns me on. This article forgot to mention just pure physical attraction. Yes, older men can be very, very physically attractive.

  • Barbara Codner

    Any man who is truly “mature” isn’t dating a much younger woman. Sorry ladies! An older man will treat you better because he thinks you can do better than him or you have something that he wants/needs (baby/sex). They don’t realize that your options are limited in the dating pool. When these so-called mature men get hip to the game, they will start to show their a$$es!! The confidence of pulling younger women will get to their heads & it will be a wrap. I’m starting to see it already. SMDH!

  • Joey

    The excuse, “I like older men because men my age aren’t mature enough” is an excuse for girls who have daddy issues or girls constantly attracted to assholes of any age. The older assholes are just better at hiding it

  • But this is not true for all! Younger girls will generally HIDE their interest from older men for fear of being judged, even though it’s something they’d secretly like to try.

  • Gabby

    What about a 18 year old women is attracted to a 33 year old men? I’ve known him for almost a year and a half and we’ve always had mutual respect for each other.

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  • Interesting. Having sex with someone who is in my dad’s age range is sort of creepy. I am 21. I’ve never actively gone after much older men but I wouldn’t be too closed. I can say that not all young men are inexperienced. Maybe I’ve gotten lucky. I have been with one man (I was 19!) who was…40? He was not bad. I have a very high sex drive so that would hurt if the older man was not interested in sex regularly. Although, as a 21 year old, I met this 19 year old guy. We had deep talks blah and he ended up revealing that he really enjoys giving oral to girls. I have never gotten good oral from any guy (never finished) so I figured this young, 19 year old wouldn’t know what to do.

    I was wrong. Ever since being with that 19 year old I know I can not say that all younger men are inexperienced in the sack. Plus he had good moves. 

    I’m not very big on chivalry, but when a guy does those things, it’s nice. Financial stability? Eh, well that’s why I am going to college (I know, how dumb is this). I just feel like I could fall in love with an older man, but to actually have sex would scare me. I dunno why. Maybe it’s due to my history and childhood of “bad” events with men, but I guess for now I’ll stick with 35 and under. 

  • Love_Sexy

    No disrepect but I was never interested in older men they never appeal to me….Maybe I did not come across one that was interesting….IDK….but to each their own when it come to dating and glad to see others having success stories.

  • Nia

    I like older men. I don’t know why but my relationships with younger men never work out. I’m 26 now and dating a guy who is 39. We have been together almost a year.

  • Is It 5:00 Yet?

    I prefer men that are older than me, but not too old. If you were already a grown man when I was born….not gonna work.

     I’m 19, so I wouldn’t go past 10 years.

  • brownsugababe

    My husband is 42 and I’m 28. I met him while I was taking courses at a community college and working. I was 26 and he was 40. He asked me out for coffee and we really clicked……fast forward 3 years, we are still happily married, I am 7 months pregnant and we have plans for 2 more…the sex is GREAT, he’s my rock and truly a man’s man. Ladies…Older men are the way to go! 🙂

  • L-Boogie

    Interesting article.  It seems the men my age are more interested in making babies versus being committed to making a lasting foundation.  Nevertheless, that is just my opinion. 

  • Nicolesandraperk

    I’m 32 and have always liked older men. I’m talking to a 45yr old man right now. We really like each other and I hope things work out. I don’t have daddy issues whatsoever, I just want a more mature man in my life for myself and my kids.

  • Candy222

    Please learn how to use correct grammar and spelling.  This article is horrible. 

  • Busy V

    I love older men because I find I have nothing really in common with men my age if that’s what you would call them I wouldn’t lol I’m just more advanced then they are I prefer someone at least ten years older then I am and I’m 23.

    • Thank you! I thought i was alone. Though i usually cut the age gap off at 15 years. 23 year old men are just….grr! Not dealing with them, give me a man in his 30’s.

  • IllyPhilly

    Mature? There’s still 40yr old corner boys and let’s not forget all the old a$$ rappers acting like their 19. I like older men because I thought they were younger men!

  • Tj

     I like older men because men my age usually aren’t mature enough.

  • ScoutF

    I believe I read somewhere that women mature faster…………..therefore……………….