While there are some black women who have always been willing to date a black, blue, white, red, purple, or orange man, it wasn’t until the last couple of years that black women really started to openly state that they would be interested in dating outside of their race. We know the jokes about black women just being mad about black men dating outside of their race because we don’t find white men attractive, so I’m not surprised that there is slight apprehension for men of other races to reach out to us online—as there likely is in person. Regardless of the motivations behind this trend among black women to suddenly be open to others, it’s new in mainstream media and not everyone has been brought up to speed.
There are a few new Internet dating sites designed to tip the interracial scale in favor of black women such as Afroromance.com. Rob Thomas, the Australian entrepreneur behind the site says he created it to eliminate the confusion on other sites about whether someone was interested in crossing the color lines or not. Loveessence.com is another site with a similar goal. It purposely features images of black women being embraced by men of all ethnicities, looking to “find love for black women regardless of race.” Ama Yawson, the site’s creator, says the user base is mostly black men and women because most of their advertising is placed in black media. “It’s black women and black men and everyone else. I want to make it abundantly clear that black men are welcomed and given love on the site. I wanted to create a venue in which every man was interested in black women.”
More so than the interracial dating aspect, I’d be curious to see the success rates of online dating among black women and black men, which sites like bestblackdatingsites.org focus on. I know women who signed up for blackpeoplemeet.com to find their inboxes flooded with messages from prospective suitors — yet their apprehension to actually go on a date with these men stopped them from achieving the very goal that made them sign up for the site in the first place. In that respect, online dating isn’t much different from going out with someone you meet in person—you have to stick your neck out a bit and go after what you really want, or else you’re going to get passed up. I think that’s exactly what the results from online dating polls are showing us as well.
Men aren’t necessarily passing up black women because they aren’t attracted—they just don’t know that we’re interested. It may be easier to dip into the dating world by doing so virtually at first, but you can’t hide behind the keyboard forever if you think you’re going to get results—that goes for all men: black, white, brown, or other. And it also goes for black women.
Have you had success dating either intra- or interracially online? Do you think race is a barrier for black women when it comes to online dating? What did you do to increase your virtual odds?
Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.
More on Madame Noire!
- Sit Down Boo Boo: 7 Types of Arrogant Men
- Get the Hair Look: Keke Palmer’s Beach Waves
- StyleBlazer Video: “How I Made It” Episode 1 – Essence Editor Mikki Taylor
- 7 Reasons Nice Guys Finish First
- 8 Reasons Your First Date — Might Be Your Last
- Ask a Very Smart Brotha: Nervous Virgin & an Eager Wifeseeker
- 20 Ways to Relate, Release & Refresh on a Budget
