“Love & Hip-Hop” Drama: Should Your Friends Be Fighting Your Battles?

November 15, 2011  |  

Kimbella and Emily

Who checked out the premiere of Love & Hip-Hop last night? I’m sure many people did because some of the cast members and the show were trending topics on Twitter last night, so discussion about the season premiere was going all around the Internet. I must say, when I first started watching this show during the first season, I was impressed with it way more than the Basketball Wives and Real Housewives-type shows because there WASN’T any real fighting. People would bicker and have their disagreements, but in reality, the show followed a group of women trying to get their hustle on, career wise and love wise (even if Chrissy’s hustle is just to get a ring). I could respect that. Now they’re back and they’ve had the full VH1 makeover: folks are fighting now, and over dumb stuff.

Last night, the talk of the town was the big brawl between newbie Kimbella (the mother of Juelz Santana’s son) and Chrissy (coincidentally, Jim Jones’ long-time girlfriend). What was crazy about it was the fact that the fight was over issues that had nothing to do with Chrissy. We all know castmember Emily’s drama with rapper Fabolous and their torrid relationship (he failed to acknowledge her in public and cheated repeatedly). Well, she moved on (allegedly), and to celebrate that, Emily threw an independence party and invited all the ladies, including new cast member Yandy, who brought along Kimbella. In some type of Evelyn-meets-Tami of Basketball Wives drama, Kimbella had it on her heart that she wanted to tell Emily about a past relationship with Fabolous–a relationship that occurred while Emily was pregnant with his child. She was hoping it would clear the air and keep the two women from having any drama in the future, because she didn’t want that. And while Emily appeared a bit hurt, she thanked Kimbella for being upfront with the information, and said it made her even more proud that she left her situation with the rapper. They somewhat squashed it, and were all set to raise glasses for a toast of some sort…but that wasn’t good enough for Chrissy.

Chrissy didn't want to feel the love when the conversation was over...

Enraged at the fact that Kimbella thought Emily’s independence party was the appropriate party to break such embarrassing and hurtful news, she set it off. The ladies squabbled: weaves were pulled out, behinds out, screams and grunts all a-flutter from those in the room. After the show ended and the dust had settled, people were all over the blogs and Twitter praising Chrissy for her act of “valor” and for having Emily’s back. Many hours later it still seems like I’m the only one who thought that girl’s behavior was horrendous–and no, I’m not talking about Kimbella. Yes, she could have told Emily later during a private dinner, or at least pulled Emily to the side, but I don’t think attacking her with a suckerpunch and literally kicking her while she was down was the next best reaction by Miss Chrissy Lampkin.

I once had a friend of mine ask me what I thought makes someone a good friend. I definitely think having your friend’s back when they need you is important, but I also think a good friend will know when to step back and let you fight your own battles. Cover me if I get jumped, but step back and let me do my thing otherwise. The only thing I’ve heard Kimbella say since she popped up on screen that made sense was that Emily is a grown a** woman with a child. That, she is, therefore, she should have been the one to handle Kimbella and her confession in whatever way she saw fit. If that meant brushing it off as one of many side pieces Fabolous had and dropped the issue, that’s on her. Now, if she wanted to dropkick Kimbella, that would have been a little left, but at least that’s her right and her fight. Sorry, but I can’t stand when people don’t let folks talk for themselves.

Maybe the definition of what a good friend is, is vastly different to everyone, because I saw so many women on social media last night saying they would have done the same thing for their friends. Really? Why? A good friend should allow you the chance to fight your own battles and learn from them so you can grow, and on their end, be there to listen and support, not stomp somebody out. Chrissy has enough drama of her own, what with Mama Jones recording diss tracks about her and her man losing his engagement ring (the ring she gave him when she proposed), so the last thing she needs to do is try and play hero for someone else. Credit should be given to Emily for making the decision to leave Fab in the first place, even if temporarily, so the same credit and respect should be given to her to handle her OWN business. Please: be grown, and act grown.

What were your thoughts on last night’s battle royale? Check it out in full here.

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