Ask the Luv Coach: “He is Not Interested in Sex With Me Anymore”

November 14th, 2011 - By Alexis Garrett Stodghill

Black Love & Relationship Advice

This week on the Luv Coach on Madame Noire, Rebecca Brody helps a reader find herself again. Read on and weigh in.

Dear Luv Coach,

I have been married a little over a year to this man who I love deeply. The problem is that he is not interested in sex with me anymore since he came back from downrange. He doesn’t want to get help and he thinks everything is OK. I have done and changed any and everything he asked of me to maybe get him to want me, but now I have lost myself. I do not know where to begin to find ME because I am afraid that it will turn him away even more. What do I do?

-Candice

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  • Cspiercey626

    thank you so much for this.

  • http://kiki072895.tripod.com/blog BrooklynShoeBabe

    I think this wife might want to start seeing a therapist that deals with military spouses, because her husband might be suffering from some type of PTSD or depression and it is killing his sex drive. I’m wondering if he has lost interest in anything else he used to love. However, you’re right on point, should stop blaming herself and trying to change herself. Her husband is probably saying it is something to do with her as a deflection.

    • JJ

      I agree with your comment about PTSD. They..yes “they” may need to seek counseling. The article advice is great, but doesn’t address the possibility of PTSD, which is the time like PTSD military members will need their spouses love and support. Its not easy for the member to admit that he or she need help.

      After a year in Iraq…my wife said I changed too; especially in the sex area. Twelve months of no sex and working 15 plus hours a days for seven days a week. What once was your normal routine, has now changed. Counseling can get him back. Yes, please don’t blame yourself or trying to change. He will come around…it took me almost two months to get back into my groove and routine. Best of luck!