Are White Men Trophy Husbands to Some Black Women?

88 comments
November 14, 2011 ‐ By


A Black Woman's Guide to Dating White Men

I’m calling a double standard foul on author Niki McElroy. The author of A Black Girl’s Guide to Dating White Men recently appeared on everywaywoman.com in a video show, and when one of the hosts of the show asked whether black women dating white men could be considered searching for a trophy husband the way that black men treat white women as their trophy wives, McElroy flipped the script. She responded that for black women, dating white men is simply “looking for your significant other without looking at color. We shouldn’t be basing it [dating] off color. If you have common goals in life, why not find someone who fits you and is on your same wavelength?”

If we’re not basing dating off of color, then why write an entire book to serve as a guide to do just that? If women are going to be upset with black men for choosing to only date white women who “fit them,” we can’t turn around and do the same thing and call it something else.

Even more bothersome than McElroy’s denial,  is the fact that the way she’s presented her information does in fact suggest a trophy husband phenomenon. White men are made to seem subtlety “better.” This is derogatory towards black women, when McElroy claims to be a positive guide. For example:

Another of the show’s host mentions she likes the book because of its helpful topics, like how to order wine because “that does make you look so much more classy.” McElroy agrees and says, “It’s not just about looking classy, it’s about being knowledgeable. Most of us didn’t know about Moscato until a rapper just came out with a song.” Speak for yourself.

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  • glenda the good

    Problem is most men of darker color are bad people….explain 70% single black Moms? Lol I said most black men are bad not all. But knowing this narrows the playing field.

  • glenda the good

    Problem is VirtualVenus dear, there aren’t many good AA MEN?!!!! yes you idiotic people miss the point.

  • glenda the good

    I’m more attracted to white guys. I always have been. So there is nothing wrong with preferring white men.I personally feel sex is better with a white man. If anything black men tend to date any white woman because they want a trophy white wife,especially in sports. Some black men think that they have finally “arrived”by dating white women. So there, I’ve flipped the script on this dumb article. The woman who wrote the book is merely suggesting that if black men aren’t trying to get married to black women, then open your mind up and date other races,all it does is widen the playing field.

  • jp

    Why would you submit yourselves to another races with such a past as white males have had, who hate your sons and love your daughters.

  • jp

    I guess its supposed to be some new kind of status symbol to date white men who in other times or in another environment might be disgusted by the mere sight of the same black woman and who if times were not so liberal would not be willing to be seen with them in public.

  • jp

    Unfortunately it has been such a fad that black women and ethnic women, mostly younger women have even been willing to put up with racism during dating. I’ve see it a lot where a black woman is so desperate to fit into the trend that she will overlook racism. I’ve seen this with black, Spanish, Asian and other cultures. That’s pretty sad that a women would lower herself to put up with that in order to fit into the brainwashing that white men are somehow better. I’ve seen first hand ethnic women assume that white men are better and end up getting shattered when they find out that men are men, and men will be men no matter what our races is.

  • donalda

    I am married to a white man, and the idea that he’s my “trophy” is laughable, considering the fact that I a)did not go looking for him and b)I don’t think white men are “better” in any way they are just men, and c) I was open to men of any color. I just happened to fall in love with my man who happens to be white. If anything, I’m his trophy. LOL. But I agree that to say you’re looking past color while writing a book specifically targeting a color is preposterous and disingenuous. The book that’s needed is the one that teaches women how to separate the gems from the dogs, how to value yourself and when to leave the relationship when it’s sinking.

  • Pingback: Are white men trophies? | Monica Jackson

  • LA Woman

    “Moscato”…LOL!  There’s nothing “classy” about Moscato. One of the cheapest and tackiest wines.

  • Nicole

    The book sounds absolutely ridiculous!! 

    There are losers and bad apples of every race so to put one race above another is foolish.  And in the end you will look just like that a fool!

    Considering all ethnicities, cultures, and races when dating simply allows you to have more dating options. 

     Regardless of race or gender if you maintain an open mind in addtion to carrying yourself with confidence, dignity and respect while looking for love you will attract a partner of the same caliber. 

    The world is a beautiful and diverse place.  So taste the rainbow!!!

  • Mushainoshaino

    It is an excellent idea for a book. We may want to actually read it before writing it off.

    For those women who ARE interested in dating white men, or who are already dating white men, it is a good read.

    For those ‘nothing but a brother’ black women. If you are not interested in white men, don’t read it. Period.

  • Betterchoice1985

    I am and always have been attracted to and will only date white men. mainly because of the respect level and values. I would be richer than Oprah if I got a dollar for every black man who said he was gonna be a rapper, or baller or whatever. I never hear any black men stating that they want to be doctors, scientists, mathmeticians, etc. I dont knock a brother for dating a white girl either, cause while he may feel she will do better for him, my white man will do that and more.

    • Mushainoshaino

      I totally agree with you. If she had written a book called ‘a black girls guide to gardening’ there would be no backlash.

      Simple, if you are not interested in that subject you don’t have to read the book.

      Why all the protest?

    • ABC567

      It’s really sad that you never met a black man who wanted to be a doctor or a scientist. Maybe you’ve been looking in the wrong places. I am such a black man. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a doctor. When I was in college I wanted to be an engineer or software developer. I’m now an executive, and doing very well economically. I have black male friends who are doctors, lawyers, businessmen, etc. They are married to some very beautiful sisters, as well as some white and Asian women.

      By the way, I grew up in the shadows of urban housing projects. So, even if you’re not middle class yourself, you might have had a chance to meet me somewhere along the way. I would have been the slightly nerdy kid in the back of the room, trying to avoid getting picked on or beaten down for “acting too white”. In my experience, a lot of guys like me get overlooked by the sisters, until they notice us years later, after we’ve graduated from college, and established a career. By that time, you now realize, we’re actually the real ballers, and those pimps you were so enamored of back in the day are pumping gas for a living. Also, by this time, you have a world of competition on your hands: all kinds of attractive women are now very interested, and half the time a white woman has beaten you to home plate.

      Bottom-line, it’s not that professionally ambitious black men don’t exist. It’s that sisters don’t even recognize what they should be looking for until too late on the game. 

      • Pivyque

        I agree with you ABC567. I have black male friends that are doctors, lawyers and professors. To say that it is uncommon is ridiculous. Not every black man wants to be a rapper. With your negative outlook on black men, it is a good thing you have decided to date other races. 

    • kabdog

      I am a white man, I am a teacher, I am married to a black women, are two boys are black. In the 13 years of teaching low income families’ children, I have found that there are good black youth that do go to college and are gifted academically and excel despite ridicule from their peers… That being said they are few and far between but I assume upon entering college become friends in the same circles and believe there are so many of themselves like minded successful black men out there but alas that is not the case unfortunately for the black women of today the numbers of you successful black men are just too small and many of you do marry white, hispanic, or asian women. I have seen this, America sees this, and black women experience it in their love life so that is why they are turning to alternatives, white man the other white meat LOL. But don’t be mad black men if you like black women you have ssooooooo many to choose from because the numbers are reversed for you. And when white men are considered a trophy husband you successful black men are considered first prize trophy. SO everyone wins.

  • In All Honesty

    “Do Black Women See Dating White As Searching For A Trophy Husband?” Absolutely. You saw how many cosigns that “8 Reasons To Date A White Man” article got right? Well, none of those reasons had anything to do with love. Then, these same women want to get on me for my preference for redbones. Sick.

  • Bhfkjhfjhwjhsa

    One word: YES!!!!

    hahalolfumadamenoireforthesedumbassarticles

  • WanderingDreamer

    This is just sad! 

  • Darkesthourglass

    With so many post re: dating white men, how come you rarely see posts about dating Hispanic/Latin, Asian men or mixed race men? Black, and White men aren’t the only options. Just sayin’.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mz.slimchocolate Courtney TiffanyDeanna Jenkins

    Is she serious. She is seeing color when she specifically looking for a white man. This is foolishness

  • Jean_Harlow

    Please! I’ve been married to my white husband for 12 years, have 3 kids and 4th on the way next month, and every time I look and kiss my husband for the past 16 years, I don’t see color. I see my soulmate, my lover and the father of my kids. Shoot, you got more BM using non-BW as trophies than BW with non-BM.

  • happywife

    my white husband iz ‘my husband’ but according to the hateful lookz we get from Blacks, whites, latinos & asians, uh, yeah he’z a trophy

    • kabdog

      I like being a trophy husband we are treated better and women submit better to us for fear of losing us. I love it, but she loves it too because she did get the trophy husband and the loving, caring, faithful, family oriented, educated, high wage earning husband. SO we both got what we want her a trophy me a good life who the hell cares we are happy you can be too nothing wrong with a trophy husband…Is there anything wrong with being a trophy wife hell no women love being that stop fussing go with the flow and relax get on with the swirl :)

  • yeah right

    blacks are usually more creative than this, but yet, every other article on this site is about some crap like this.  can these writers and moderators please expand their thinking!  it seems like black sites speak about the same tired topics all the time, and if not, they’re downing each other for something.  i’m sick of it!

    • astodghill

      Sure, if you have some ideas people email: editors@madamenoire.com. We are always looking to expand our topics.

  • http://twitter.com/Be_Vic Brande Victorian

    That was the very point I made in the article: “She says she wrote the book because women would ask her questions about
    dating white men as if they are aliens while they are not, but based on
    the information she explains is in the book, she does depict white men
    as if they truly are a foreign species. You can’t quite have it both
    ways.”

  • Abc567

    Wow. Amazingly insulting. I’m an Ivy League educated black man in the 1% income range. I know my wines, champagnes, scotches, etc. I also like to talk politics, art, theater, music and charitable works. I’m married, but were I playing the field, a sister would at least need to have some of these interests, and I’d be happy to learn some of hers too whether its hip hop, sports, or dance. It’s not about black or white, it’s about social class. Maybe the book should be called something like “A Girl’s Guide to Marrying Up”

    • Topper

      From what I understand, most black men who are in the 1% income range, don’t want a black women who is at the same status or close to it. Why? 1.) She does not cook and clean (a myth), 2) She works long hours. I’m a educated black woman and like/love most of the things you do. However, I don’t run into many black men who enjoy a lot the things I like. For example, he’s idea of the theater is a “black play”. Where as I like operas, musicals, or plays with all types of people in them. Another example is everything is black…. the black ski club, a fraternal event, african american museum. Don’t get me wrong, I love my black people. But everything I do does not have to involve black people. 

      • ABC567

        I can’t speak for “most black men in the 1% income range.” And admittedly, it’s a relatively small circle. What I have noted among my friends in this circle is that the wives tend to be highly accomplished and educated black women (doctors, lawyers, advertising, etc.), typically with graduate degrees and such. In quite a few cases, the wives have dropped out of the workforce or gone part-time to focus on raising the kids. I see these same trends with wealthy/high-income white friends and neighbors too – the wives are very well educated, but quite often have given up career aspirations to focus on family as job 1. The kids in these families are the beneficiaries of a huge amount of attention, focus and resources – they are being groomed for hyper-success – but that’s a story for a different day. In some cases, these successful black men have inter-married, and in many of those cases, I have noted that the white or Asian wife is either “arm candy” (i.e. clearly for show) or a more traditional stay-at-home-mom. 

        Now when it comes to very high income sisters, I have noted a couple of trends. Clearly, if they are not willing to date “outside” they stand a pretty good chance of being permanently single – the brothers are in no rush to settle down. It seems like a case of musical chairs – if you don’t marry your college sweetheart or in your 20′s, the odds of finding a successful, single black man how is not either already spoken for – or – suffering from Peter Pan syndrome (i.e. fear of commitment), become freakishly low. Here in NYC, I am seeing a lot of educated black women dating (and marrying) white and sometimes Asian men, and they seem pretty happy in those relationships.

        The trend does not bother me – I think that where relationships are concerned, it’s not for me to judge. I do feel it is unfortunate that it is so difficult for black women to find what they want. But, sometimes I think women get too hung up on seeking perfection too. I don’t have any easy answers, just observations.

  • grimyteddy

    Oh no Kevin and Keith did a two part video on this book last week! The author touched a nerve because the Hodgetwins on YouTube did not approve.

  • Dcarter910

    Why dont yall do a column about ” Are broke @ss mexicans with no papers, trophy men for black women ?” Since black women arent allowed to have standards without being labeled sellouts!

  • reese

    Who the hell cares.  I am become sick of these topics about dating white men.   Maybe if they didn’t come out every week.   Come on talk about something else.  I am out.

  • Kelly

    black women are so desperate. Didn’t you make a movie ( something new ) on how to date a white man? Did it make white men come running for black women like Usain Bolt?

    • Anonymous

      But you seem to be drawn here daily…why don’t you take your royal a** to a non desperate site to be among your peers B***H! Your constant presence here makes you look even stupider than you really are!

    • Carol

      You’re so bitter, what’s the matter can’t handle the fact that a black women are dating a white men. Well i’m a black woman dating a white man and have been for the past 3 years. Also 3 of my exs are white. HAHA!!!! My black girlfriends are also into white guys and they’re very much into them as well.

      • Guest

        And he still won’t marry you.  No surprise!

        • Darkesthourglass

          I’m not gonna lie, I was thinking the same thing but as long as she’s happy that’s all that matters.

        • Anonymous

          How do you know they want to get married?
          People can be together for years and then decide to get married (Like TI&Tiny) …what you’re saying doesn’t make sense at all.
          Beside …How do you know he hasn’t proposed?
          Some of you come up with the silliest unfouded arguments in the world!

        • http://twitter.com/Adoreblackwomen Marcus Schmitt

          That’s not true either, there are plenty of black women that are married to white men.

      • Darkesthourglass

        That’s a lot of snow but you gotta do you.

        • Anonymous

          Your so racist it’s sickening!

      • Sam

        yall really think yall hurtin our feeling huh? yall dont hurt brothas like myself. i can hop the fence too. matter of fact i dont even have to hop the fence ww r hopin the fence to get with me. reading post like yours only make brothas like me think about leaving the gate open for em.

        • Anonymous

          Tell you what..in the spirit of the holidays…I’ll wire you some money so you and alllllll the other brothas can buy a trampoline to help ya’ll on your journey..K?
          Now don’t say a sistah never helped you out !

    • Love_Sexy

      I see ole Kelly girl has continued her QUEST to spread her poisonous venom from Bossip to MN…..Well you know what Kelly girl I had several WM come sniffing my way but I was not looking their way….Now I love BM but open to all race of men….THE WM FOUND ME YOU SEE!…. Now if you are the same Kelly from Bossip you asked the question “What BW had that other women did not?”……Well it was amazing Kelly what every last WM I experienced told me about their feelings on WW….They said that WW were BORING AND HAD NO BACKBONE!…And you know what else WM love about BW Kelly?  the beautiful skin color that they have….So why is that Kelly?…….Instead of trying to analyze BW go to your WW website and spread your advise there……So this BS about BW being desparate is GARBAGE!

      You are a prime example of how NEGATIVE people try to make others feel they are not worthy of anything as well as inferior to them. You think your words is going to mentally destroy US? THINK AGAIN!………..I AM SIGNING OFF FOR GOOD BECAUSE YOU ARE NEGATIVE ENERGY!

      • Sam

        and guess what ww tell bm about wm..go head…take a wild guess…

        • Love_Sexy

          Of course!

  • Elegance

    I’m Canadian and I’ve always dated out. I think a lot of White men are on my level so I’m not trying to raise myself to their level.
    I was already interested in wine but I want to learn more about it (actually I’m going to a wine seminar this week). Instead of looking at it as trading up, I look at it as expanding your interests and knowledge base instead of just focusing on stereotypical “Black” culture. If you have never dated interacially then you might think the women are changing themselves or trading up. But for someone who already has experience with White men, it might have some tips that I didn’t think about because it’s not like there was anyone to give me advice about interracial dating. I’m sure there are plenty of books about Black love, but not about Black women/White men love so why can’t there be one without all this outrage? 
    I haven’t read the book but I might find some useful things. The Rules and He’s Just Not That Into You really changed the way I went about dating and I realized I was doing things that didn’t get me the relationships I wanted. A book on interracial relationships might do the same thing.

    • Kelly

      But how many white men are writing books on how to date black women? How many white mediums even notice black women?  

      • Elegance

        Writers make books that they think they can make money off, so yes, she is trying to make money. Why aren’t Withe men writing books about dating Black women? Because they don’t think they’d make money off it. How many men do you know who read relationship books? They might read books about getting any woman to sleep with you but not about dating. There is no market. Men and women write dating books for women.

        White men notice Black women. In Canada, in big cities, they will hit on you just like any other women if you are attractive and approachable. It’s probably different in the U.S. but the fact is, Canadian women are still Black so if they found all Black women to be unattractive then Canadian White men would not ask out Canadian Black women. 

      • kabdog09

        Sorry before married I was trying to find me a good black women and am white but would not have bought that book, the most I would have done is browse it at barns n noble or something because I don’t buy books like that men just don’t women do.

  • Darkesthourglass

    What’s the sequel? “The White Girl’s guide to Dating Black Men”? Yeah right.

    • Anonymous

      This is madamenoire…for BLACK WOMEN!!
      There are plenty of WW sites and BM sites for you to go to for those types of relationships…reading is fundamental homie!

      • Darkesthourglass

        I was joking. I already know this is s black woman’s site I come here often, it’s not that serious.

        • Anonymous

          Sure you were..ha ha ha!

    • Guest

      Well all white women have to do is be white.

      • astodghill

        Dang — ha ha ha!

  • Anonymous

    Im tired of this stereotype that BW get upset and act out when we see a BM/WW couple…check the crime stats and listen to the stories of BW/WM couples and see who the real culprits are when it comes to violent behavior when they see ir couples made up of BW/WM…check San Diego police files and see who killed the ir Marine couple..or who got attacked and beat with a brick for dating a BW…BW are NOT the ones acting up when it comes to ir couples so the writer of this article is full of shyt! Furthermore..after all the NBW that have been thrown in our faces over the years it’s about time we started  doing the same and seeing how the other half lives..what’s good for the goose is ALWAYS good for the gander!

    • Sam

      and i’m tired of the bw get upset then want revenge crap. yall want war with tha blk man. ask and u will receive. 2 can play this game. we got options too..like a  muthafuka…

      • Anonymous

        Then use your options and stop trolling and getting into our business..remember where you’re at…we didn’t come on any sites for BM complaining..and you’re right 2 Can play this game so it looks like it’s time for recess!!!!  Like a muthafucca!

        • Love_Sexy

          Amen to that sister….Preach it!

  • AnnaRenee

    More game for the playa.  A book on how to date white men, that’s based on “class” : ordering wine etceterAH, etceterAH.  So black folks don’t drink wine?   Those sisters who spend a cent on such a book is just looking to be played again, by a female Steve Harvey. 

    Hey Im about to write a book on how to get that cool hip hop loving, jazz loving, soul music Robin Thicke kinda sweet white brother. He already knows how to speak ebonics and ish.  Sistahs won’t hafta wurry about knowing her wines and ish.

  • HARDMIKE

    There is nothing wrong with interracial dating, there is something extremely wrong with justifying your choice by spreading lies, myths and stereotypes.

  • Sugar/Spice

    Scott Peterson (white), Dr.Ken Stahl (white), The Grim Sleeper (black), Eugene Britt (black) all of them murderers; the point i’m trying to make is that there are good & bad people of all races.  Why are we in this day & age so hung up on race?  YOU WILL NEVER FIND HAPPINESS IF YOU ONLY LOOK ON THE OUTTER EXTERIOR!

  • Darkesthourglass

    What type of brothas does Brande Victorian attract?  If you had to pick between an Obama type and Billy Bob who would you pick?

  • Mekolovesmj

    The lovely Stacey Dash divorce just recently became final.  She filed for divorce because she claimed her husband was abusive.   He also happened to be white.  He is not the father of her children but the father of her children also happen to be white.   My point is, it doesn’t matter what color the person is, what matters is what kind of person they are and if that kind of person is right for you.  

    • Elegance

      But there are differences in terms of interests and lifestyle! I’ve met some White men who like hip hop but rarely do I find one who is so into it they quote Tupac or other rappers like what they are profphets. Many don’t want to look or act like thugs, be ball players, or rappers. They like different sports, music, night spots, movies, tv shows, and other activities. They might even speak differently. Of course some want to be athletes or musicians, but they aspire to a wider range of things. A lot of them tend to value education and get degrees. That type of guy won’t hang out on the street or harass you. 
      Of course there are those who are ignorant, uneducated, scary, abusive etc. So I agree that there are good and bad in all races but they might have different interests in things you know nothing about. If you want a White man who acts like a Black man you can find one. But if you want one who acts completely different from Black men, you can find that too and that is the type of guy I like.

    • Bluebelle

      Stacey Dash is the bomb. Didnt know she dated and married white men. My God if I knew then what I know now, I would have gone on seeing white men as God incarnate…….but in color only. I now look at character not color. Some white men know the history behind women of color going after them. They think they are Go’s gift you see, some dont have any character at all! Thats the truth.

  • Sdennis334

    If I had a dollar for every time this topic was discussed…I could pay off my car note this month

    • astodghill

      I really think this is a little different. Well maybe not. Is it really that old? I am glad you all feel that way. It still seems like a hot button issue to me. We are actually dismayed that a black woman, a group of black women, would represent us so strangely. But, I am glad you are all feeling very over it and secure!

  • http://www.thesupersistah.com the Super Sistah

    The book writer is entitled to her thoughts and opinions on the topic of interracial dating. White men, black men or other, I’m all for black women having options. I don’t cosign or debate the writer’s right to have her own take on the issue. I’m a good woman in any color. I don’t have to date up to have a white men. They have to date up to have me.

    the Super Sistah
    http://www.thesupersistah.com

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    Not this topic again, these are getting redundant 

  • Mekolovesmj

    I think dating a nice, sincere, honest person is the prize.  If he happens to be white then so be it.  But, not all white men are nice, decent and/or sincere.   Dating white may not always lead to the right person.  Dating to find love, friendship and compatibility just may get you what you want.  If it is packaged as a white man and that is what floats your boat then go for it.  Do what makes you happy.  Just do it for the right reasons. 

  • Virtualvenus

    Here we go again with this. Please stop thinking that just because your man is white he could do no harm. Trust me: white men cheat and do dirty dog deeds too. No one’s skin color makes them immune to all those bad adjectives some people attach to black men. Getting a white man is not a trophy. Just getting a GOOD man (of any color) is. Stop it. Whatever this woman is selling, I’m not buying

    • Virtualvenus

      Honestly, if Dr. King was seeing that we are judging a person to be better than our own because this person is white without even knowing the content of their character he would be rolling in his grave now. SMH SMH SMH

    • Darkesthourglass

      Something tell me that if her white man cheated on her and they broke up, she’d just go and get another trophy. As long as he ain’t black. SMH…

  • Onecorgilover

    No, looking for a color is stupid.  Look for character but don’t limit yourself to just one color….that’s just as ridiculous as thinking white is right and will somehow save you.  Regardless of how a man happened to have been born, seek out positive qualities and you won’t go wrong.  I agree the sistah is talking out of both sides of her mouth.  I don’t think you should date other races in retaliation….date ANY man who will respect, honor and cherish you.  PERIOD.

  • Love_Sexy

    Oh here we go again!……..leaving this alone and SIGNING OFF!

  • Carmel22

    Only by the desperate insecure women who write for this website are white men trophies. Most black women if they are with white men are doing it because they have found a partner they like, the women who write for this site suffer from an inferiority complex. There are black videos and books about black love and black marriage where are they. It is ridiculous having so many stories about interracial relationships as black people do not date out in large numbers, no matter how much the media try and pretend that it is happening. 

    • astodghill

      Yeah, I think we agree (as an editor of this site) that this woman is trying to capitalize on the fact that a lot of black women are feeling the pressure to interracially date. I don’t think we are promoting this book at all.  We are questioning the way she depicts black women — negatively — in the context of a book that makes white men look better than others, when we all know that’s not the case. 

      • Bluebelle

        I was truly tempted to buy that book but Im glad I didnt. There is no way to point someone to date only one race. The book that should be advertise is how to look for good characters in all men and meet someone when there is compatability. Amen!

  • Happytobe23

    People think too hard about this kind of stuff… if you meet somebody, you meet them. It’s just as hard to meet your match in a black man as it is in a white man, asian man or any other man of different ethnicity… it just so happens that every man you meet is NOT going to be your true love match.

    And if you have to read a book on how to date some one of another race, you are missing the point completely. Men are men, regardless of race… finding the right one for you may be the struggle, but please let us not put any one race on a pedestal. We all have our preferences and we need to recognize that there is good and bad in any race… now, can we not call any more attention to this over-stressed topic.. ?? damn.

    • Girliusmaximus

      *Co-signs

  • http://twitter.com/urbansista TheAccidentalNatural

    Honestly, I laugh at foolishness like this. Yes, I agree, date without looking at colour – but if you’re focusing on finding a white man, well, aren’t you focusing on the colour of his skin? Maybe because I know women who are happily with both Black men or white men and I know women who have been treated like crap by both Black men and white men, I’ve realized that there are good and bad in all races. There are classy, well-educated men who treat women like gold in both races. There are also dirtbags in both races who will treat you like gum stuck to their shoes. A good man is a good man regardless of the skin he’s in. These women need to stop thinking that white guys are the end all and be all. They are men, like other men. Look for character – not complexion.

    • Vee

      ^5 to your entire post. There are good and bad apples in all races, complexions and etc…..where is that dead horse how many times as this topic been done?

    • Bluebelle

      That was my problem, putting colour before character. But I now realise character is so important and other things that will make a relationship I will be in worthwhile.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Casher-Oneil/100002427586133 Casher O’neil

    This topic is sooooo tired (yawn) . . . .

  • Girliusmaximus

    I like that phrase… “Immutable monolith”. ^5

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