Think He’s Cheating? Think Again…

November 19, 2011  |  
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We all get a bit paranoid from time to time. Coupled with insecurity, the stresses and pressures of life can make the world seem like a mean, difficult place, inhabited by people who are out to get you. If you’re feeling this sensitive to begin with, it’s easy to misinterpret any change in your partner’s routine and take it as confirmation of the worst.

So, what are the signs to look out for that he’s cheating? Some men are more prone to cheat than others, so take a look at these 8 signs that he is NOT cheating on you and you’re probably letting your paranoia get the best of you…

1. You Argue Fairly

A relationship involving cheating is obviously and blatantly on the rocks.  Meaning, one small nudge in the wrong direction, one little disagreement, might be enough to send the whole thing right over the edge. If the two of you still argue about little things, and have the occasional minor spat, it’s a sign you’re solid enough to handle the rough patches without disintegrating.  Arguments are normal, yes, but creating a full-blown fight after realizing your partner didn’t water the flowers is not.  Stop beating around the bush and confront the real issue in the relationship.

2. His Character Is Consistent

Everyone can be dishonest but it takes a good amount of cold-blooded deceit to betray your partner and lie consistently.  If deep down, you really don’t believe he’s got it in him to pull off lying to this degree, then the chances are good that he hasn’t.  A cheating man doesn’t typically have a spot-free past.  If you trust your man, who has never been deceitful in the past, don’t rush to conclusions.  Unfortunately if you have a serial cheater on your hands, with a speckled past, you have a reason to worry.  It’s not a phrase for nothing, “once a cheater, always a cheater.”



3. He’s Open About New Friendships

As a couple, it’s healthy and important to have individual friendships and time apart. Sometimes, though, a new friend or hobby that leads to a change in your partner’s regular routine can become a source of anxiety for you.  It might make you wonder exactly who he’s hanging out with at the gym so often, or why he needs to meet that new ‘guy’ for drinks once a week. Casually ask him about the things that bother you, unless his response is tense and defensive, you’ve more than likely got nothing to worry about.  Heck, if you’re suspicious at all, invite yourself to tag along on one of his ‘man dates.’  This is another great way to gauge his reaction to your company and if you should be worried or not.

4. He’s Still Interested in You

If your partner is cheating, there is usually a sense of disconnect in the relationship. You’ll notice him pulling away from you and retreating into his own world aka less communicating than normal and more ambiguity in conversations. However, if your man stays excited to chat and spend time with you and is happy to plan to do things together as a couple, then the chances are good that he’s not with anyone else.  Don’t be too paranoid and overreact if one particular conversation isn’t top notch, or he seemed distant over dinner last night.  Every one has a bad day, right?  As usual, if the vague look in his eye and sneaky persona continues, be upfront and ask him if he has a side dish.  Listen to what he says, and how he says it, and use your best judgment.

5. He’s Emotionally Stable

Cheating is no easy task, at least, it shouldn’t be.  For most people, a secret affair is extremely stressful, and filled with feelings of guilt, indecision and anxiety. If your man is calm and relaxed most of the time, and rarely flies into bouts of random rage or depression, then there’s probably nothing big weighing on his conscience.

6. Regular Bedroom Activity

A man can only have a certain amount of sex.  I know, I know, you’d never expect to hear that right?  If you’re still getting plenty of after-dark action, you can be pretty sure you’re the only girl he’s seeing.  Say in tune to how your bedroom activity may or may not be changing.  Just because he’s trying a new move, doesn’t mean he’s cheating, it means he’s trying a new move!  Give you’re guy a break and always follow your gut.

7. He’s Honest

It’s not really a great idea to ask your man if he is cheating. You wouldn’t like it if he did, and he won’t be thrilled either. But if you do get to a point where you feel that you need to open your mouth, you’ll find that, if he’s innocent, he’ll be able to take it and eventually understand your reasons for asking him.  A rational man is innocent.  Only a shaking, scared little boy is one who’s caught in a lie.

 

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