8 Reasons Why Your First Date — Might be Your Last

November 16, 2011  |  
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First dates are awkward. There is so much you want to know about the person across the table from you.  They are an opportunity to show the best version of yourself and leave your bad day at work, or current fight with a friend, at the door.  Although it’s a time to really get to know someone, it’s important to stay away from a few behaviors that will leave you dateless in the future, at least with this particular man. Here are some tips for what not to do on a first date.

You talk about your exes!

According to most men, this might be the #1 deal breaker.  Talking about your ex, no matter how recent or even if it’s a mutual friend of you and your current date, will make you look desperate and needy.  This date is a time to show your best first impression of yourself. You don’t want that to be bitter and crazy, do you?

You brag too much

Bragging only makes you look less self confident and more desperate for attention.  It’s awesome to talk about your latest vacation or new car, but try not to let you interests only lay in material things.  You don’t want to make it seem like your whole essence is based exclusively on how much you earn, what you’ve achieved and who you’ve met.  These can be great points to bring up, but be sure to ask your date about his life, too, and be conscious of subtle cues that he might be annoyed or uncomfortable with your elaborate stories.

You act ditzy

This is a mystery.  Some girls still feel like acting ditzy or not-smart is a “cute” way to land a man.  Wrong!  Especially on a first date, its important to show the smart and fun side of you, not the uneducated, airhead.  We all have dumb moments and might say something that you wish you could shove back in, but take this time to laugh at yourself and prove that you are not really that way.  A man wants a complete woman that he can talk to about serious issues in life with, but also laugh and goof around with.  Try to show all the great sides of you on this first date, as he will be doing the same — hopefully!

You turn your date into a therapy session

A first date is absolutely not a therapy session.  Please leave all of your issues at the door and refrain from complaining to your date the entire time.  No one wants to hear you ramble on about your sick cat, annoying boss or stalker ex-boyfriend.  This is a time to put your best foot forward and showcase your intelligence, bright smile, fun personality and unforgettable charisma.  A good tip for dating is to always turn the situation around.  What if he was the one who came it and started with a pessimistic rant about his current frustrations?  Um, check please!

You expected him to pay — and were rude about it

The quickest way to spoil the first date mood is to spend way too much time on the check when it arrives. If you want to foot the bill, go ahead, but keep sighs, winces, and other signs of discontent to yourself. Splitting it? Just go ahead and split it for goodness sake, and get it off the table.  Most times the man will take the bill once it hits the table, but if not, go with his lead and avoid looking pissed off or irritated if you — gasp — have to pay for your meal.  If this really is a deal breaker for you, then take a mental note and move on.  At the same time, men avoid gold diggers, no matter how pretty or intelligent a woman may be, and might be judging you by you bill reaction as well.  The door swings both ways.

 

You were too serious

Listen, we all know that dates can be super awkward, so the least you can do is go into it with a sense of humor.  Try to be lighthearted and laugh when the waiter spills water on the table, or your date has a massive piece of lettuce stuck in his teeth (not with too much laughing of course!).  Realize that this is what, two hours of your life?  Make the most of your time with your date and take the pressure of yourself and him by relaxing and enjoying the conversation.  If you stay on topics such as religion, politics or other real issues, and are force feeding him your view, he will probably feel like he’s in a lecture hall, not on a date.  It’s important to have strong views in these areas, and is definitely a plus, but please don’t let your first date be a political battle. Staying away from debatable content is a good idea the first time out.

You Facebook stalk him right away

When you get home do not, I repeat DO NOT, find him on Facebook and friend him immediately.  He may have had a great time with you, but coming home to a friend request and 10 pokes is not the image you want to put off.  If you are really interested in more, Google him, but otherwise wait a few days once you’ve exchanged a few texts or calls to make the Facebook jump.  Guys know how obsessed girls can be with Facebook, so asking to be his friend might make him think you want to find out all of the ghosts in his closet, what his exes look like, and what he did last weekend.  Can you say stage five stalker?

You think TOO much about calling after the date

If you want to call him, call!  He’ll definitely appreciate it if he feels the connection too.  If not, you’ll get your answer and move on.  It’s better than wasting time worrying about it, when you could be spending your time and energy on something else in your life.  If you think too much about it, you might get psyched out and never get up the nerve to try and see him again. Some women get so caught up in the “rules” that they don’t make a move when it feels right to them.  Always listen to your heart and do what feels right.  Don’t start a relationship based on games.  If you want to talk to him, call him, if you don’t really care, then wait to see how he feels. But don’t let worries over this and other mistakes like these stop you from another date, thus another chance at love! Don’t you agree?

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