We Must Shield Ourselves From Growing Fat Hatred

November 10, 2011 ‐ By


You would think the main controversy with a website touting itself as a “married dating service for discreet encounters” would be the fact that it promotes infidelity. But what has most people up in arms over Ashley Madison right now is a recent advertisement promoting the company.

Their first ad featuring a large woman displayed a size 32 BBW model named Jacqueline lying on a bed in lingerie with the text, “Did your wife scare you last night?”  The promo was craftily timed for Halloween a few weeks ago and despite the initial backlash, the company has released yet another ad still using Jacqueline’s image—without her permission.  An “X” is placed next to her frame in contrast with a thin brunette marked with a checkmark and the tagline: “Life is short. Have an affair.” Clearly the idea is: If your wife is fat it only makes sense to cheat on her with a skinny broad.

You wouldn’t expect much tact from a company that seeks to help married men (and supposedly women) find more ways to cheat, but this type of promotional activity is low, even for a company with no morals. (Is that redundant?) Not only is Ashley Madison encouraging men and women to cheat; the company is also mocking larger women in the process, thus feeding into the social ill of hatred towards large women. This hurts all women, because it causes us to constantly question the impact the size our frames has on our lives. As in this example: will it make our husbands have an affair?

No woman should have to walk around with that amount of body-consciousness induced worry. But that is what this ad promotes.

MadameNoire Video

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • the dude

    It’s disgusting, but some acting like women don’t judge by look too. which they do a lot. if you not sure about that, go make a profile on a dating site, test with a normal average dude (or your picture ) and write some intelligent description about yourself. don’t expect much replies. then try with a picture of a guy model who is celebrity but not well known, and write stupid description or none, and start your chats with just hi. and see the replies pouring on you. Both sexes are guilty of this. it is disgusting. it is still shallow. you are not interested in fats? fine. don’t make it public. I’m not fat, but I don’t want to judge or put others down.

  • Pingback: Advertising! Part 2: Jean Kilbourne’s Killing Us Softly 4 « qvaken()

  • reese

    This article implies that women are blame for being cheated on because they let theirselves go.  But it is not only fat women who get cheated on.  Halle Berry and many others who did not let theirselves go.   And some women who are not considered attractive and their men is faithful.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Valentine-Joseph/702964509 Valentine Joseph


  • Jimmy Swaggered

    Fatty’s are like scooters… they’re fun to ride, until your friends see you.

  • Jennifer Hudson

    Look nobody thinks fat is beautiful. Fat is wrong. If you waddle, you’re doing it wrong. If you chafe, you’re doing it wrong. If one layer of fat flabs over and touches another, you’re doing it wrong. Fat people are smelly, even if they shower regularly. That’s because fungus grows in creases of skin of which fat people have many. Stop eating what you are eating and learn self control. And please stop with the fatty euphemisms like “full-bodied” and “diverse range of body sizes”. Fat is fat. Don’t kid yourselves.

  • Babeegurl

    All I can say about the Ashley Madison ad is consider the source. I can’t be too mad about some morally questionable company that places all of its value at a very low premium thinking that anything over a size 10 is unattractive.

    I’m a curvy girl and if my man doesn’t like it he can leave. there at least three others behind him in line that love it. Not that I tend to keep multiple men on tap, but I’m just sayin’ ~_^

    • Babeegurl

      *it’s value of women

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Crawford/1355602807 Mary Crawford

    This goes for our men too.  Why should I break my neck trying to be the hot chick on your arm and you look like you’re carrying OUR baby. lol  Brothers need to get them round bellies in the gym too. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Crawford/1355602807 Mary Crawford

    First, If your SO is going to cheat on you, they will…no matter what you do.  The truth of the matter is that Obesity is killing our community especially our women.  Not everyone is meant to be or should be a size 8 but we do have to start getting serious about our health including and especially our wt.  I have been overwt my whole life and trust me, it’s high time that I do something about it.  

  • IllyPhilly

    Why they bringing the damn moderator here!?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003085266535 Courtney Small

    I like this article. it touches on some good points. but also think why should woman let themselves go just because they have a man. not that i’m condoning cheating because im not. but there is nothing wrong with wanting to remain attractive to your mate. and that goes for men and woman.  if you let your self get to a precious size then it’s obvious you don’t care. im not saying you have to go on a super extreme diet. letting yourself get sloppy is a no no also

  • http://twitter.com/lexisb lexisb

    Sorry, this is being caused by our filter which has some non-curse words in it. Thanks for your patience.

  • IllyPhilly

    Aw, I just wanted to say we like “pretty” men too!


    Why don’t you tell the truth and inform ILLYPHILLY that you don’t want certain things posted on here because it DE-BUNKS the unresearched crap your writers type on a daily basis, Lexis??? How about the truth for once????

  • Guess

    I agree.
    I think most men (no matter race) prefer the cola bottle shape.   
    But I know plenty of hamburger shaped women who are full of grace and confidence.  And these women are men / people magnets.  Confidence is key.
    Im skinny (being a skinny black woman isnt easy) and would prefer to have the cola bottle figure.  But Ive learned to accept my small frame and I see that that makes the difference. 

  • http://twitter.com/lexisb lexisb

    Are you being serious? The truth is, there is something wrong with the filter, which contains common words by accident.  It is a system bug.

  • Jeniphyer

    as a person who has been dealing with my weight since i was 14 can say one thing, there is SICKLY FAT and then there is FAT, yes im all for loving your body but if you want to better yourself and lost 25 pounds to get to a goal weight then go for it, i wont call that self-hatred but self love because u are taking the healthy road on bettering yourself, then there is sickly fat, ppl like the model above and Gabby, that is in no way healthy and ppl who tell her that “your beautiful” or “do you boo” are being enablers, im not saying Gabby neds to be a size 6 but she needs to be at a healthy BMI for her height, and seeing how she is probably 5’5-5’9 tops i kno for a fact that she doesnt need to be that big, she doesnt need to hate her body but she needs to love herself a enough to lose weight

    im all for the love your body movement, but we need to get serious with some one these women, your obese and your losing years off your life, lose some weight

  • let’sgetreal

     broke dudes…

  • Tila

    I agree with jeniphyer that the focus needs to be directed towards leading people to a healthy weight (that’s for both underweight and overweight people).  I also definitely agree with this article that those who are underweight need to stop being praised and those who are overweight need to stop being condemned.  We are promoting an unhealthy body image, and ruining the self esteem of anyone who does not have it.  We generate these unobtainable goals and then suffer as a result of them.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Valentine-Joseph/702964509 Valentine Joseph

    Agreed. This whole fat acceptance bulls**t enables people to continue their unhealthy behaviors. Articles like this annoys me because being healthy is a good thing and not self-hatred