Ready For A Ring? Find Out What Men Look for When Choosing A Wife

November 13, 2011  |  

"What men look for in a spouse"

Believe it or not, women aren’t the only one’s with a checklist of traits they look for in a partner.  Although it may not be written down, men have a mental list of what they will and will not tolerate in a relationship as well.

Take a look at these traits men look for in a wife….

"Communication"
1. Honest communication

Honest communication is top priority for men. They want a woman who answers questions honestly, and even volunteers information. They want a woman who can see the truth, stand up for themselves and tell it like it is.

"Confident"
2. Secure and Confident

Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation.  Women tend to jump in and out of relationships more often than the opposite sex, because they crave attention and adoration.  In the same way, men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. It’s important that women have their own friends and interests.

"Manipulation"
3. Manipulation-free

Men want no manipulation of any kind and typically have little tolerance for games. They do not want to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals.  Women often hide their true feelings by deliberately returning phone calls hours after checking their phone, or pretending to be interested in other men to “keep their true crush begging for more.” Newsflash, men don’t want to fight for a woman who appears to be uninterested or worse, interested in another guy.  If you like a man, make it known through your attention and time.  This does NOT mean you should drop the L-word on the first date.  Simply return his calls in a timely manner.  Show him that he is the only one you want to be with and avoid checking out other guys.

"Too emotional"
4. Emotionally stable and mature

Men want a woman who can stand on her own two feet and develop herself personally.  They want a woman who is emotionally mature, but does not lack emotions all together.  It’s important to handle emotions responsibly and know when they are getting the best of the situation.  Men tend to be practical beings, compared to women who tend to base their decisions on emotions instead of facts.  Usually as women mature and age, they stop depending on emotions and start to find a way to be practical, without losing their nurturing and emotional edge.

"True Commitment"
5. True commitment

Fidelity and loyalty, is an absolute must for men. In fact, men want a woman who does not have a “roaming eye” and who can wholeheartedly commit to the relationship.  The misconnection here is that women think that all men want is sex, and that men will leave a relationship for the next prettier face. Women think men cannot be trusted to be faithful and that when the going gets rough, they leave.  Be aware of subtle cues at the beginning of a relationship that might prove that you have a wanderer on your hands.  What does he do with his spare time?  What kind of influence does his friends have on him?  Is he easily susceptible to peer pressure?  These questions challenge his confidence and true being and allow you to determine if he is a great catch, or if you should throw him back with the fishes.

"Nurturer"
6. Nurturer

There is a reason why so many men, when little boys, ask their mothers to marry them.  Men love to be nurtured.  Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated.

"Hot, not slutty"
7. Not trampy.

Men want a hot woman to show off, not a tramp who might hit on his friends or embarrass him in front of his family.  Remember, this is marriage material, not dating material.  In the beginning of courtship, a woman should refrain from making any comments that are overtly sexual because she is still establishing who she is and making her first impression.  This doesn’t mean no flirting, it just means that too much overly sexual language will land you a man for that night, that’s for sure, but not for the long haul.  It’s important to flirt, smile and laugh while you give him attention, and even touch his arm or leg, but nothing too aggressive. When the relationship gets more serious, and presumably more intimate, sexual touch and public displays of affection are more appropriate and will less likely scare off a man.  Of course every man is different, but remember to always be yourself when you meet a guy.

More on Madame Noire!

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Pingback: Global Social News » Find Out What Men Look For When Choosing A Wife()

  • ddd

    wow, the writer killed this…I’m a man, and everything stated in this article is true…guys will be willing to wait around for this…lol no tramps! but most of all every guy loves his attention cause in return, we’ll give it to you and treat you just as special, or visa versa. @05e9382885da624893cb508febd0e59d:disqus I think the author meant that the personality is to “be yourself” i.e. make your jokes, talk about what you enjoy doing or what music you like listening to etc. Some women can be self-centered, non nurturing, dishonest and insecure…but sex aside, isnt that what we want in any person?

  • Mikenike10001

    Simple rule…treat your man/woman-wife-husband as you wish to be treated..you want to be lied to or manipulated? Feel free but dont whine when it comes back to bite you on the butt..the biggest problem in relationships is thinking you can pull a fast one..and your partner is stupid..they may not notice at first..but the longer they (seemingly) don’t notice ,usually the bolder or sloppier the suspect gets..’til it’s boldly obvious….(beeeep) Game Over…

  • Domellecun

    If this is this is so on point then why is nearly fifty percent of educated,professional and successful black women in the U.S. Still SINGLE or dating outside of our race ???

    • MikeNike10001

      It is on point ,so many women get support in society for family, work, community, while men are hit from all sides..If a woman has a bad financial crisis, they can usually get some form of assistance. Men on the other hand are not allowed to be dependent..

  • Mauriciorushton

    Every woman should read this they r really telling the TRUTH, PLEASE READ IT.

  • After reading this, it appears that I’ll be a SBF until I die. I’m emotionally immature, possessive(depends on how fine he is), scare normal men away with the things I’m into, and can’t cook rice properly…FML. I’ll create a robot like a lonely Japanese dude and give it extra hip thrusting strength. I’ll name it…Mendo Fukumi Fu Realz™.

    • Mikenike10001

      ??

      • My rambling leaves everybody scratching their heads, hahaha. Pay no mind…

  • LaLaLaMeansILoveYou

    LOL at the “return his calls in a timely manner” one…that would almost sound ok if it were coming from my EMPLOYER. As long as you have someone that isn’t into playing games then no need to say something like that, because only someone playing games would see that you’ve called and chose to wait a few hours to call back.

    It’s just so funny to me because I remember reading a “rules for dating” article that was on a website geared towards men, and one of the first rules was “don’t call her back right away because it will make you look desperate…”…smh at some of the “how to get a husband” articles on this site. I have no doubt that most of them are either written by some single man trying to find a perfect woman or by some single woman who has yet to find a husband herself.

  • Girliusmaximus

    Okay I get where the writer is coming from with this article and it’s a good piece, but I couldn’t help feeling as though I was reading the rules to a game. Maybe it’s just the way the writer presented the points. I agree with Lyndon that these are traits a woman should have independent of being “wife material”. Not to mention the fact that these traits only summarize what some men (probably most) want. There was just an article on here about women wearing the pants in the relationship… Some guys like for women to be dominant. My point? There are no rules for stuff like this in my opinion. You have to be the person you want to be before you can be a person someone wants to be with…

  • Girliusmaximus

    Okay I get where the writer is coming from with this article and it’s a good piece, but I couldn’t help feeling as though I was reading the rules to a game. Maybe it’s just the way the writer presented the points. I agree with Lyndon that these are traits a woman should have independent of being “wife material”. Not to mention the fact that these traits only summarize what some men (probably most) want. There was just an article on here about women wearing the pants in the relationship… Some guys like for women to be dominant. My point? There are no rules for stuff like this in my opinion. You have to be the person you want to be before you can be a person someone wants to be with…

  • KMo.

    These are traits that all women should have naturally, especially the nurturing  trait. However, the number one trait is RESPECT. That means I must feel secure with who I’m with. And since I’m discussing respect, it is very critical that if I’m with someone that the majority of her friends/family loves me and supports our relationship.
    Games and puzzles are for fun, marriage is sacred and reality.

    • KMo.

      *crucial

  • Lyndon

    Im lost. You suggest women be all the above and conclude the article with … “remember to ALWAYS be yourself”. What? No woman meets all these criteria after years of dating. Impossible. Every womans wiring will get crossed after a few rounds of f’d up realtionships. Sooo, how bout recommend they be “themselves” from jump without giving a script to manipulate a man based on what she thinks he wants. If she’s trampy, clingy etc. so be it. A man will marry every single type you listed if she’s genuinely trying to improve as long as she owns it.

  • Getit!

    Pretty, check. Doesn’t talk too much, check. Has me wondering what she’s wearing underneath…, check. Can bring her home to Moms, check. Pause the DVD cause I gotta go “pay the water bill.”

  • Love_Sexy

    Yes this was a good article with very interesting points.

  • L-Boogie

    Good article!