How To Meet A Guy At A Bar Who Isn’t Just Looking To Get Laid

December 20, 2011  |  

"Busy bar" It can happen. If you’re at a bar packed with 300 people, not everybody in there is just looking to get laid. You’re not, so there’s your proof. But, we’ve all thought a guy was the sweetest thing in the world and then, soberly, the next day thought about things he did and said and realized…that guy was just trying to screw me! Here’s how to not let that happen:

"Drunk man passed out"Develop your drunk radar Does he ask you the same thing multiple times? Are his eyes glazed over? Is he standing awkwardly close to you and doesn’t seem to realize it? Has he spilled on himself (or you)? Has he had the same stupid smile on his face for twenty minutes? Learn to recognize these things! If he is drunk, he is either just trying to sleep with you or could be a perfectly nice guy who is a waste of your time to talk to because he isn’t going to remember you tomorrow.

"Man checking out woman's butt" Bring a friend with a good drunk radar…and sleaze radar You could always use the help. Combine the symptoms of intoxication that you recognize with those that your friend recognizes, and you have a better chance of not wasting a half hour chatting it up with a belligerent. Your friend also has a second set of eyes and can see if the guy is grabbing other girls when you’re not looking.

"Handsome black man" Avoid wandering eyes Men who are leaning against a wall watching everyone pass by, or even men who are with a group of friends but are not at all engaged in the conversation because they are busy scoping out the entire room—avoid them. They are looking to get laid. And they’re being rude to their friends!

 "Creepy man checking out woman" Don’t stand for any sleaziness I don’t mean cute flirting. That’s fine. But if he makes a blatantly sexual comment—like pointing out that you have nice boobs or making some innuendo about how you must be “flexible” since you do yoga—walk away. If a man says something like that, and the woman stays, that says to him “she’s down.”

 "Woman in slutty dress" Keep the Slore factor down I didn’t make this rule, and I’m not happy about it, but if you dress extremely provocatively, you’re asking for it. Men at a bar don’t know your mind. You could be a smart, kind-hearted woman but men are very visual and they’re not going to consider any of that if your butt tattoo is visible under your see-through skirt.

"Beautiful black woman" Learn your poker face You don’t need to laugh if what he said wasn’t funny. And you don’t need to look engaged if what he is saying is not engaging! It’s women who are too eager to flatter a man that make men think “she is totally DTF” Develop your poker face. When a man is talking, learn how to look at him so he feels you are sizing him up, rather than that you think he is the greatest thing to grace this planet. If he is just looking to get laid, he will seek out easier women and leave you be.

"Couple talking" Dominate the conversation Don’t let him keep it light and just make silly comments about your surroundings. Ask him about his work. Bring up the debt crisis. Make the conversation get serious (even if you’re not particularly interested in talking about serious things). Again, men who are just looking to get laid will go find a woman who they don’t have to work so hard for.

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  • w

    Dang everyone in this comment section is negative get a life geesh….I meet a nice guy at a bar on new years we’re still dating and it might go the distance

  • Jujubee

    Uh, when I go to bars and clubs, I’m not looking for a relationship or to get laid by any man, I’m looking to get turnt up and have fun with my friends. Thank God I met my husband in college.

  • Macincheez

    Damn, did you see the nipples on that broad in the yellow scarf?!!!…ah….I mean, yes, young ladies should be respected at the clubs

    • Caribbean in the house

      what do you expect from an afro-american females ho

  • Think

    I find it funny that you guys have this article, but I just read your other one on “How To Spot A Ball Buster” and you have some of the same things on each list.

  • Kim13323321e

    My friend just met a chocolate man on Blackwhitemeet.COMit’s where for men and women looking for interracial’ship for a fabulous lifestyle
    It’s a nice place for black white sing’les, to interact with each other…no bounds or extremes in front of true love.

  • Girliusmaximus

    Didn’t even bother to read the article.. I knew the comments were gonna tell me plenty not to mention it’s a thousand of these all over MN… Yall funny on this board especially @GM_I

  • GM_I

    Articles like these are the reason so many men think women are dumba$$es and lack or have no logic whatsoever…”How do you meet a guy in a bar/club that doesn’t want to get laid” is the equivalent of looking for a man who doesn’t gamble by lookin for him in a casino or lookin for a man without a police record in the prison system or lookin for a man with a non addictive personality in alcoholic/narcotics anonymous classes…stop with these stupid, illogical, irrational and contradicting articles and questions already smh…the club/bar scene are for men & women looking for a good time, hooking up, a potential booty call, getting buzzed/drunk and releasing all stress & inhibitions being complete s1uts and man-wh0res, if ur not tryin to do that, keep ur a$$ home cuz y’all buzzkills fucc the whole mood up and flow of the club/bar scene…take y’all prude a$$es to bible study or something.

    • WestIndian

      I just completely agree with this

  • Jon

    We love vaginas ladies so jeep giving up early and the less were interested.

  • Chelsea739

    Falsehoods, aren’t all men trying to get laid at all times???

  • Its not possible.

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  • Charlesstewart1964

    to tame a man in a club is like trying to tame a wild lion with a feather.  It will never happen.  Men don’t go to the club to be tamed, we get
    enough of this at home and on the job. 
    They go to unwind, so a woman should know this when stepping into the
    jungle.  The club scene or bar is not a
    place for etiquette, it all about playing games and having a good time.  Most men know there are wall to wall women in
    clubs, we know if woman isn’t feeling our courting, we moves on to the next.  Flirting, talking sh*t, catcalling has always
    been part of the club and bars.  If a
    woman has a problem with that, then she shouldn’t go.  As long as men don’t physically violate the
    women, there not much she can do except stand her ground.  If a man offends her, she should cuss him
    out; he’ll back off and move on to the next. 
    If he grabs her, knee or kick him in the nuts; then he will really leave
    her and the other women alone for the rest of the night.  It’s a jungle in there and if you can’t run
    with the big dogs; then stay on the porch.

    • JM73

      You’re right. I wanted to see what they had to say about this, and I don’t mean any harm but it didn’t sound realistic. If you’re clubbing to find your mate, there’s a very high chance it’s a waste of time. But if you want to just have fun, go with the flow as long as they respect your boundaries ie. unwanted touchining.  Because if you go home, alone what have you really lost? Think about it, alcohol, skin, mindless seductive music, phermones, hormones, fantasy…clubbing is not the way to go for love.

      • Rendeezil

        U took the words right out if my mouth. That’s a one in a million shot. But I will say this….don’t show up dressed like,talking like, carrying yourself like YOU are looking to be laid. We attract what we put out a lot of the times. When u mature u don’t look for the love in the club. It was never designed for that.IMO.