Light Skinned Women: Let Go of the Guilt

November 7, 2011  |  

I think about race a lot, but color? Not so much. Some would argue that’s because I don’t have to, being of a lighter complexion. But there are more people who have told me about my own skin tone and level of blackness than I’ve ever cared to think about myself.

I can recall the first time someone tried to set me apart. I was in high school and some girls were talking about their enemies—basically the girls who didn’t like them because of some boy they were both messing with at the time. I remember one girl asked me who my enemies were and when I said I didn’t have any, she said, “Please. You’re light skinned and you have long hair. You have enemies.” It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard, but over time what she said played out to be very true.

I remember in college I was (admittedly inappropriately) using the n-word, and a guy stopped me and asked, “Should you be saying that word? You don’t even look like you’re allowed to use it.” I thought — did he really just put me in the same category we put white people in?

As an adult, it seems the spotlight on my lack of melanin has grown even brighter. It’s become sort of a running joke among some of my friends that I’m “not really black.” Somehow whenever I’m attempting to have a serious conversation about issues in the black community with other associates, my skin tone always finds its way into the discussion—you know those issues I know nothing about, because I’m of a lighter persuasion.

I always facetiously hit people with the same argument that the LGBTQ community uses: who would choose to be black? Blackness may be a cool fad to some white suburban kids watching Lil Wayne on MTV but anyone who is African-American knows there’s a slew of discrimination, prejudice, and racism that you must bear as a person of color and it’s hardly worth the “right” to call someone a n***a.

I also remind these people that they’re more hung up on my color than I am. I don’t want to explain my blackness every time I get passionate about black on black crime or broken homes, and I certainly don’t need to be reminded of what I look like. I see myself every day. I also don’t want to have to explain my family tree every time someone isn’t satisfied when they ask what I am and I simply say, “black.” I refuse to feel guilty because somewhere along the line Massa most likely raped one of my ancestors or a Cherokee found his way over to one of my enslaved relatives and they procreated, or that my maternal grandfather and great grandparents are Louisiana creoles with a whole mix of things going on.

If I’m down for the black community isn’t that all that should matter?

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Redundant article same lame response. Basically what some Blacks expect. Fully assimilation main stream “White” society. Why deny this problem the economics. General is better so many gotten. Deceived whom celebrities MadameNoire. Baffled what is acceptable Black appearance. Don’t expect Blacks to answer you. Taught say okay around neighborhoods. When around with frowns of intimidation. Whites looking bright so many. Attempted to pass still lingering doubt. Effecting women long hair high yellow. Complexion why? Then using false rhetoric psychological damage. American idea’s which standards. When those disputing without proper. Marketing going to fail when. Mention cosmetics industries I said. It base upon image of aristocratic. Background this frown upon EU excellent. Marketing fashion world I see. Damage prevalent USA when Blacks females.

    Achieve social acceptability thinks honorary. No belittling another Black person. Due personal insecurity when they. Travel EU and UK so called. Dark skin women considered natural. Not image cosmetics lingering. Self hate wanting to become. White then using this false. Distorted African jargon mention. Tracy Chapman,Grace Jones, Namoi Sims,Lupita Nyong and Alek Wek. Women gotten acclaim were abroad not. Even so called conscientious Black. Firms given these women chance. Whom appeared international editions. Fashion magazines ladies also were. Black or African fashion world? Don’t go there with French national. Yes, I’m considered White not. Uptight among those bigots what. Reading those distorting facts. Don’t have proper correspondence achieve. Success
    regarding preference Light skin. Whom influenced by societies not. Africa once again ideology taught. You must accept this beauty. I seen in France dark skin. Women getting attention so called. Light bright detest this there problem. Hallie Berry and Rhinnah promoted to Anglo beauty. Nothing more to endure yes. Black growing up in non African
    society. Have there chose what beauty. Entails say, Alek Wek or Mecho Zuoughi I know
    there. Dark skin and? Okay to ridicule Anglophile society. When accepted your national so.

    Phony Denise Nichols,Brooklyn,Amanda Sudano,Daria Hines and Shari Belafonte. Have in
    common going bring attention. Black men hen resent eyes. Non Black men is this contradiction. Sade and Julie Brown of MTV always. Considered attractive due light bright.
    Understand criticism why compare then. Say your not Black forcing your. Opinion on the
    fashion world. Whom challenging image Asian have. Economics to do so mention China.
    Region is diverse in heritage as France. So American media problem. Grouping people cause animosity when. Say Black audience whom? Brazil and Africa never admire Black.
    Women of so called natural heritage. Wigs proper speaking effecting. World fashion industry whom now. Hispanics not Spain whom fashion. World equivalent to France prior.

    Admit not preference heritage light. Skin demeanor of consider Anglophile. Hip hop image
    Black men? Absolutely not many consider this appropriate. Concepts going find out disputing. Only bring angers those caught. Up false image from Billie Holiday,Lena Horn and Marilyn McCoo. Dispute sold well ideal color. Light bright then contradiction. Your not
    another race your. Influence Anglophile mania USA reverse. This why not your own perception. African heritage many don’t want this. Tara Banks idea look light skin nonsense! Model agencies preference light skin. Figured Alek Wek reaction and insult.
    Which turned into success why? Alek dated many whom affluent men. So there Merci

  • Frank

    I’m a Italian man. My wife’s mom is white(blonde) and her’ dad is black (dark). My wife is lighter than I am. If I were to explain her’ looks I’d say nobody knows what she is for the first 30 seconds and then she becomes clearly biracial, if you know what I mean. She is quite pretty. Anyway, I was looking through my wife’s HS year book reading the comments from her’ classmates. They were very mean. Things like “to the girl who thinks she’s white..LOL” and ” you’re still black” ect. I asked her about it and she said the comments were mostly from black males. I’ve gotten the impression that most of this crap is stirred up by males. I know my wife has had much of the same experiences with bad white people as many black people in addition to being ridiculed by bad black people. I’ve always thought of my wife as somebody who doesn’t fit in her worlds. She has taken shelter in mine. I’ll point out that the author would not be considered light skinned at all next to my wife. So while I found this article interesting and with a ring of truth. I doubt that she has experienced this on the same level as someone as light as my wife. My wife often says that the reason there is a “color” problem is that people can’t shut their’ mouths about it.

  • sage

    You guys are saying the women who wrote this article is not light-skinned? What are you talking about. This woman (at least from her picture) is lighter than I am, and mostly everyone I know considers me light-skinned. Why are you trying to make her something else…I don’t get it. She has on make-up, and it looks pretty thick to me. I’ve seen Alicia Keys look the same color as she does …after applying make-up and bronzer. Alicia and Beyonce wear bronzers., The bronze look is IN in Hollywood. Dark girls are lightened up with lightener creams/foundations and light girls are darkened with bronzer creams/foundations. I swear Alicia Keys was the same complexion as this woman (author). All make-up / bronzers. I thought you guys knew better, but I see some of you don’t. This girl is light

  • Who is she she’s beautiful

  • Momo

    That’s so true! I’m brown skinned but I have members of my family who are dark skinned and some who are light skinned. Something I find stupid sometimes about what black ppl do is that they always get mad when anyone other than black discriminates against us but then they r doing the same thing in our own communities! It’s so stupid! That’s one of the reasons ppl think blacks r ignorant. Stupid stuff like that.

  • Opinionated4Days

    Try being ‘light-skinned’ AND petite! You’ll really see what ignorant envy tastes like! It’s to the point where I won’t even eat around certain females.  It’s hard to savor my dish with gusto while being glared at with “I guess you CANNN eat all dat….cuz you so skinny. I used to be yo’ size”.  The crystal-clear resentment is evident. “They” don’t understand how a mother of 2 over 30 can retain such a figure, and I’m tired of damn near having to apologize for having a waistline and cheekbones.  Having moved from ‘the Northern East Coast’ to the South….the color comments make me wanna scream. Oh well. “Some day we’ll all be free”.

  • small mindd ppl dividd we fall for dis mess… 

  • Eyeznthighz1

    Well put my sister!

  • Guest

    Point #1 The author is NOT “light-skinned.” (To the person attempting to start a debate about who is qualified to classify one as being dark or light-skinned… Puh-lease. Save it for a black studies class. I’m sure it’s possible to ramble on about that for at least 10 to 20 pages. Let’s keep it all the way real. Are we unqualified to classify India Arie as dark-skinned? Am I not allowed to say Alicia Keys is light-skinned? The fact is that WE DO categorize people based on skin tone. Period.)

    Point #2 The. author. Is. Not. Light. Skinned. 
    I couldn’t even finish or see past the fact that she is NOT even a little bit in the same spectrum as the women she is claiming to share the same experiences with. And the person who said she has “wavy hair…” Please have a seat. Plenty of us REAL redbone, Chico, El, Bunny DeBarge LIGHT BRIGHT people do NOT have “wavy” hair. IG-Nant. Straight up. 

    Faith Evans. Light Skinned. Fantasia. Not. Both beautiful black women in their own right. But also different shades of black… Mmm Kay..? Thanks. 

    I’m disappointed. 

  • Bb_stacker_ao

    Puerto Rico probably had the worst case of this out of any place I’ve ever lived and it’s all stupid. Racism and prejudice to lighter skin tones is just such backward thinking now. There’s a black President now and until Cains past transgressions came back to haunt him it looked like another one was a great possibility. It’s time people allowed themselves to move on because nobody is holding anyone back. I look at it as I have to have something positive going on if I have haters. But while they are busy hating I will keep advancing. I’m comfy with me. You gotta be comfy being you.

  • Sydster

    So all light-skinned people have “the wavy hair”? The author and I are the same hue–she’s “light” brown skinned.

  • Fadzayi Chambati

    I’m sorry but you looking for sympathy at the wrong address! As black people we have dealt with discrimination since the stone age, you have to rise above it and not give it power because the more you highlight it the bigger a deal you make of it and the more it becomes a reality.  If you identify yourself as black then you are black no matter what your skin tone is so do you and quit whining about it sheeeesh!!

    • MNM116

      She isn’t looking for sympathy.

  • Fadzayi Chambati

    I agree!! I live in South Africa and there are people wayyyy lighter than this chick here!

  • guess who

    ya’ll are cray cray

  • Hhhgg

    This is stupid

  • Bb_stacker_ao

    Since when is commenting on broken homes etc. a racial issue? You know when this petty stuff becomes a racial issue? When you unnecessarily refer to it as one. I also love the fact that your lighter skin tone has to be because of a rapist “Massa” or Cherokee who had to have had his way with a predecessor of yours. No way it could have been by choice? Seems like the problems you have are caused by insecurity and feelings of inadequacy. Don’t blame other folks for that. Self love starts with you.

    • naada

      Because most people in the antebellum south and shortly after the civil war were not willingly engaging whites in intimate sexual relationships. By making that statement the author was not commenting on the .000001 where there was genuine love between a black man/woman in the deep south in the late 1800’s.  She is not excluding that just stating what is known to be true. Broken homes not racial issues?  Not in and of themselves but within our community, they SEEM to roots in the collective disenfranchisement of our people along with generational curses and self deprecation.  I have met the author on a few occasions and yes….she is what we would consider to be typically light skinned(although not the lightest I’ve met), with all the trappings, light eyes and wavy hair.   Who of us doesn’t battle insecurity at times and to be black in this culture and striving for success, the road is fraught with dealing with insecurities and inadequacy. Not being undone by them or feigning some pompous over-the top bad girls club ego that is nothing BUT insecurity…that’s the trick…………TRICK!!

  • Johanna

    This is a stupid article. What guilt do “light-skin” women need to let go of? Articles like this are reasons why white people are so far ahead of black people.

    • MNM116

      I see your point, but some people do try to make light-skinned women feel bad simply for being light.   This article is pretty much telling us that we shouldn’t feel guilty because of the way we look and the color of our skin.   It is not stupid.   Some people will try to wreck a light-skinned woman’s self-esteem because of their own insecurities.   I believe it’s worth talking about…even though this is a classic debate that never ends.   

      People always talk about how colorism affects dark-skinned women, but rarely is a light-skinned woman ever allowed to speak her mind on this issue.   We tend to stay silent because people don’t listen…they simply assume that life is wonderful when you have light skin. 

      I wouldn’t consider the author to be light-skinned, judging by her picture, but I think that she made some valid points.  Maybe some people perceive her as having light skin and they treat her accordingly.   I know how that feels.  

  • Aries281977

    For those who are saying she is not light skinned; I don’t WA know what looking glass y’all are peering through. She is definitely not dark skinned or brown skinned. She has the wavy hair. She is not as light as they come. But if she said she was biracial. I would not argue with her.

  • Kxcarp

    What’s the worst is when this nonsense is perpetuated within a family! Its a bad feeling even if they are “just playing.” There are 16 shades of black (people) and I love them ALL!

    • MNM116

      I agree…it is very hurtful when your own family does that.  I married a white man and I fit in more with his family than I do with my own.   They don’t belittle me because of my skin color.   It’s pretty much the same as theirs.  When I’m around most black people, I feel like I’m being judged immediately on the basis of my skin and hair.    Some racist white people do it too, but it hurts more when it comes from my own people.  

      Black people are beautiful, whether light or dark or somewhere in the middle.   I just hate this mentality that keeps us all divided.   We all bleed red.

  • reese

    I don’t get what she is feeling guilty about.   I really don’t.

  • Prissy

    Because you YELLOW women are WINNING! Dark/Brown women can be with someone for damn near a year and a YELLOW ass woman can take him just like that! Yall are more desired and wanted. No matter what, at the end of the day YELLOW women are always going to be WINNING. I HATE when they act like they have problems because THEY are lighter than some of us. GTFOH. WHo complains about being wanted and desired?? SHUT THE HELL up . 

    • :)


    • MNM116

      What, pray tell, are light-skinned women “winning”?   Life is not a competition, honey.   It sounds like a light-skinned woman took your man.   You’re obviously still bitter about it.  Cry me a river.   Don’t assume that ALL light-skinned women have perfect lives or that we always get whatever we want.   Some of us have problems that you can’t imagine, but we continue to carry on despite the pain.

      Life is what YOU make it.   Don’t be mad at light-skinned women because your life is not the way you want it to be.   If you want a good man, then pick up your self-esteem and learn to love yourself first.   My heart has been broken too…but I don’t project my issues onto other people because of the color of their skin.

      I’m sure you are a beautiful woman, but ranting about light-skinned “yellow” women makes you look ignorant.   You remind me of all the people who have taken their hatred out on me for being light-skinned.   This anger is misplaced and it is also very unhealthy.    Some men prefer light-skinned women.   It is what it is.   

      All this time spent hating light-skinned women could be more productively spent on finding somebody who loves you for who you are.   There are men out there who love dark-skinned women, including men of other races.     Maybe you need to work on your attitude and your self-esteem so you can attract the right person into your life.   That seems to be the problem…not the color of your skin.  

      I’ve been rejected by men too.   It hurts, but I decided not to complain about it anymore.   That’s life.   Be the best you can be and then start seeing yourself as a “winner”.  

  • Guest

    This broad is NOT light-skinned…she is the one with the color complex.

  • Grly

    We all have our issues to deal with. I can totally understand where the author is coming from and I am a Brown skinned woman. You don’t have to have  light skin/dark skin/brown skin, to feel empathy toward someone else’s experience. As black people we should know that our families are usually made up of ALL SHADES. My grandmother is very light, her mother and father are both brown. I have dark skinned, brown skinned, light skinned, cousins, aunts,uncles etc. Most black people at somepoint have felt or heard negative comments or had a negative experience based on their “color” or “skin tone” alone. So to sit and talk bad about EACH OTHER is Soooo Ridiculous to me! How do we expect other races to RESPECT US and our differences, if we don’t RESPECT OURSELVES? Have we still not learned anything?? it’s 2011. Think of how you feel when white people or other races Stereotype YOU for being black, now think of how IGNORANT you look with your negative STEREOTYPES about your own people based STRICTLY on their COLOR!!!!!  Luckily not all of us Black people are hung up on “skin tone”. but the ones who are….well I’ll pray for you and your insecurities!

  • Sydster

    To the author: You’re not really “light skinned,” unless where you are from most of the black people are midnight black. We are about the same hue and I’ve never considered myself light skinned, nor has anyone ever referred to me as being light–except for a childhood friend who was midnight black. Lighter skinned would be a more accurate description.

    Perhaps your issue is similar to mine, and other black women, where we don’t fit the stereotypical mold of what a black women should sound like and look like? It wasn’t until my mid 20s (I’m in my 30s now), that I stopped hearing the “you sound white” or “she think she white” comments from black people. I heard it ALL through my adolescence. I spoke “proper,” I dressed different, I liked some “white music.” When people perceive you that way, they tend to think of you as being a sell out, or at the least, disconnected from the black race and culture. So when you open your mouth to give your opinion about issues pertaining to the black community, they give you the side eye. Maybe this has been your experience?

    On the other hand, my best friend from childhood is light skinned, red bone. She used to get called Sade all the time when we were growing up. She was straight hated on by female, and to this day still gets shade thrown on her by grown women.

    That is all. Oh, and please don’t ever compare being black to being gay, even in a joking manner, as you asserted. No offense to gay people, but that is insulting and doesn’t have any place in this conversation. The way I see it, only a self-hating ni*gga would say they wouldn’t choose to be born black.

  • Amija

    Ummmmm, I don’t know where the author lives that she is considered hella light skinned because she’s not.

    • JH3

      This is true, the person who posted this ‘article’ probably isn’t what most would consider extremely light skin, which makes me wonder why she felt the need to write it. Why focus on a comment someone made years ago while you were in school, and please get some new friends if that is the running joke.

      It’s confusing to me to see why so many topics on here are about complexion. Where the hell do these people live that that is the only issue to discuss? No matter what society sees you as a black woman and  you will  be put into the same box. There is no need for  you to explain your blackness since it is as clear as day. If you want to exclaim it purely out of pride- there is a t shirt for that.

      • keysha

        It’s called “clickbait”. They write about complexion because they can get black people riled up with it. Media quit being relevant and interesting about 6 years ago. Now they just keep doing whatver the outrage button topic is because they don’t care about quality.

    • ImaaLin

      I couldn’t tell if the author was writing from her own experiences or someone elses but when I saw her pic it was truly a wtf moment because she’s darker than I am (and I don’t even consider myself light). 

  • NikkitaMichelle

    I am also a light skinned sister, but your experience is totally different than mine.  I’ve been raised in the south my entire life and have found that me being of a lighter complexion has NOT been any easier for me than it has been for my dark skinned sisters.  And truth be told I think most of this light skin/dark skin crap comes from our own people. 

    My experience has been that I’m too light for my own people to truly be considered true black woman, but I’m too dark to be totally accepted by white people.  I get comments from family like “light bright damn near white.”  And white people act surprised when the find out that I’m articulate and that I DON’T have a white mother.  So I can’t say  that I feel guilty about being this complexion.  I’m just working with what God gave me like everyone else. My darker sisters need to stop believing that light skinned people have it any easier, because that’s not always the case.

  • B.

    Sorry brande Victorian you aren’t “light-skinned”, lol. Your article makes sense though. Even at my school, the black girls purposely ignore me. ALL of them. All my friends are asian, lol. They talk about me and come up to me once in a while just to get something out of me. Sometimes they just want to hear how I speak because I speak “properly” and they try to ask me what I do, because the ONLY thing they do is talk about everyone else. Anyway, it’s such crap cause I’m black too! They are jealous and threatened by me because they would never dare say anything to my face.

  • Vee

    Ah the old Light-skinned vs Dark-skinned debate. Whats funny is BOTH complexions think they are the one who is hated on the most.

  • Cora

    I really can relate. Ppl have judged me, labeled me as stuck up before I even speak to them for the first time. I remember I walked in a Walgreens and the two employees, older black ladies of a darker complexion were talking about me as I walked in. U know all that “she light skinned so she think she is cute” mess. I didnt even know them! But I don’t feel guilty at all. I know the value of ALL people and if someone judges me over something so stupid, then that’s THEIR problem! I do agree it is very hard being the only fair person because people always got something to say about it. But like you said, some white ppl still look down on you because of their ignorance. To them , your complexion makes no difference.

  • Let me be the politically incorrect one. As much as it’s nice that we can all “come together”, there is no denying that quite a few lighter shaded African women in the states have a superiority complex. They have been put on a pedestal much too long, much like white women, and despite darker or even brown toned African women attempting to come together, the lighter shaded women are perfectly comfy and fine on that pedestal and refuse to  work with us. They see themselves as “a better kind of black.” I really see no purpose in respecting women (or men) like that for that reason. A lot of lighter african american men even will openly say “I don’t date dark girls.” Pathetic pieces of __________.

    • Cora

      Oh please!!

      • It’s true. Deny it if you want, but it’s true. It’s just not something that most LSW would feel okay with admitting. 

        • Playboy69

          I agree with you!…BEYONCE, ALICIA KEYS, & RIHANNA!…are what most BLACK MEN DESIRE TO HAVE!…IT’S CALLED REDBONE & YELLOWBONE FEVER!…Lightskinned Girls are Back

    • Guest

      Well said!

      You know these light-skinned chicks always like to play the victim against the Mean Ol’ Dahk Guhls.

      • MNM116

        Uh, no.    There are issues on both sides.   Some light-skinned women do play the victim, but there are also dark-skinned women who play the victim as well, acting as if their problems are the fault of every light-skinned woman that they encounter.  

        It is not one-sided.   We need to stop attacking and judging one another. 

    • Guest

      And light skinned men are just as bad…

      Black people are evil against their own people, but this happens with Asians, Latinos, and other minority groups who think that lighter is better.

      I don’t feel sorry for light-skinned people, because they do have a ‘complex’ thanks to colorstruck black people and this has been going on for years.

      • MNM116

        You made some valid points, but you also made a lot of generalizations about light-skinned people.   Not all of us have a complex.  Not all of us perceive lighter skin as being better.   How about seeing people as individuals?   A lot of Latinos are racist as hell, but I don’t have a problem with all of them.   There is good and bad in every group.

    • Morena1022

      You are telling the truth.  And, it’s sad because if a light skinned sister is ever belittled by the outside world, she’ll play the sister card.  I’ve seen it plenty of times.  My latest comment addresses this. Sister, I’m so emotionally hurt, that I just stay away.  Now, if a light skinned sister is coming down the stairs behind me, I’ll hold the door, I’ll say hello, etc.  But, I would never bond with her on a sister to sister level.  Point blank.

      • MNM116

        That’s fair enough…as a light-skinned woman, I feel the same way in return.  I will be cordial with a darker sister but because I feel that there is often a level of hostility directed at me, we could never really be friends.   It’s sad because it isn’t supposed to be this way.  

        I respect your feelings, though.  I guess both sides have issues when it comes to skin color and how we’re affected by it. 

  • nycie-jaye

    some things just never change. that’s what I’ve learned as a Black/African-American woman. and as long as people are ignorant, there will always be stigmas, classifications, and degrading separations within every group of people. its life. end of thought. peace. dj*)

  • Bhfkjhfjhwjhsa

    Thank you for writing this. The only time I have been judged by my color was by other blacks, never whites.

  • Lady

    People don’t talk about skin color anymore because it is ridiculous because we are all as Afro-Americans are with skin of color. By  with that in my experience It seems as though  had two strikes against me in being a light tan color by looking 10 years younger than my age. So, on the job older women like grandmas always treated me like I didn’t have a brain. As if  I wasn’t aware of any crisis or been there before. I was teased from K-12 grade got over it. But when It came to the work place, I was tested. I had to ask, “could I please work my 8 hours, Mame.

    • Cora

      I hate working with those older women at work who think just because they are somebody’s mama, that they are yours as well.

  • Tolula

    Why does this lady keep writing about being light skinned? If she told a group of white people she was light skinned they would laugh at her dark azz.

  • Playboy69


    • Renee8288

      This comment is exactly the problem!!! No skin tone is better than the next. We are all beautiful! From the lightest of the light to the darkest of night! All black is beautiful!!!

      • Native Gear

        He’s obviously a troll. You should’ve ignored him like everyone else…lol

        • Playboy69

          @Native Gear…U are Darkskinned PITCH-BLACK HATER!….Lightskinned Black Girls ROCK!…Beyonce, Alicia Keys, and the new QUEEN OF POP Ms. RIHANNA!…REDBONE & YELLOWBONE FEVER u dig!

      • Playboy69

        Truth Hurts! Deal with it! and get yourself bleaching cream for your BLACK A**…LIGHTSKINNED BLACK GIRLS ROCK!

      • SHAME…. 

    • lovejones

      how ignorant of you.

    • nola78

      it’s comments like yours that make it hard for fairer skinned Africans Americans .. i have been treated poorly all my life by darker skin African American women. 

    • Rdjssc

      This is sad I am a light skin black women but I know with out the dark black women I would not be here. I have trace my history and I know where in africa where my people come from. It was not until the white man planted his seeds in a black womb the skin tone became lighter. I am sick of hearing about light skin dark skin issues. White people do not care they had both skin tones as his slave. He did not give his light skin child the same respect that he gave to his white child. This is silly and has no need to keep going. WE hold the key to how we should be treated.

  • I definitely have dealt with this all my life. Going on my Facebook page, you can see how. When i was younger, i never understood why none of the black girls at my school liked me. They called me names, said i didn’t act black. I didn’t have a backbone for a long time. Even when i did finally begin to stick up for myself, i hated when I would speak on issues in the Black community and people would look at me like why do i have an opinion. Its ridiculous. I may be very light, but i look black. I could never pass for anything else, nor would I want to. I have two Black parents. Yeah, they’re mixed, but they identify as Black, and so do i. I’m sick of having to hold my tongue all the time or feel like I can’t say anything about the Black community because some people are too ignorant to see that I’m Black, just like them. As Black people, we have all experienced racism and discrimination. Why add to the problem by discriminating from within our race as well?

    • Noble Negro

      Stfu mutt Im tired of mixed people trying to replace real blacks. Your a pound puppy, find your own home

      • Noble Negro


      • Keysha

        Wow. This is hands down the most pathetic comment I have ever read. Whoever birthed you should be ashamed. Have you ever considered that mixed race people aren’t “replacing blacks” but are individuals in their own right? Naw, that wouldn’t fly in your tiny, racist little brain. You sound pathetic and weak. Get a life.

  • Jade

    this color preference is prevalent all over the world in every society not just American society. India is the skin bleaching capital of the world for a reason. Lighter skin is preferred throughout Asia.

  • RahTruth

    Did this author really just compare our race and culture to the gay experience by saying, “who would choose to be black?”??? I would choose to be Black if EVER given the choice! All races on the planet are beautiful. But, God made me Black and I think i’m beautiful!
    With that said, I’ve always dealt with having to pass people’s “black tests” to prove myself, too. And, it’s wrong.  I’ve been called every high yellow name in the book. And, frankly, it’s just another ignorant idea that separates and distracts us. We need to do better.


       yeah I thinking the same thing about the  LGBT comment. I was so l lost on that point. lo0o0l. maybe someone who is  gay can clarify, because I know for me too, given a choice in the matter, I’d choose to be black any day.

      • Girliusmaximus

        I think the comparison she was making is when people say who would choose to be gay/lesbian etc., because people who are homosexual say that they are born as such while people who are against it say that they choose it. What she was trying to say probably got lost in translation.

        • Keysha

          “white people who are against it say…”

          Uh, black people can be anti-gay, too. Anti-gay discrimination is actually most prevalent in the hispanic community. Being anti-gay is definatly not just a white thing.

          • Girliusmaximus

            I didn’t write the word “white”. I wrote WHILE. There should have been a comma after the word such, but nowhere in my comment does it read white…

  • Abejundio

    I’m a dark skinned Hispanic woman and I can tell you we are the most discriminated group of women on earth. Dark skinned Hispanics are openly mocked in the media in Spanish speaking countries and are considered much less than lighter and whiter Hispanics. There is a very deeply ingrained color hierarchy within the  Hispanic community with all of the power, wealth and influence reserved for the lighter skin. The world does not consider you to be Hispanic/Latino unless you look the typical part: Light skin, straight black hair and Caucasian features.

    • Bebe


    • Chek

      Yep, that light/dark thing can be found in all cultures.  It’s a white man’s world!

    • SO TRUUE 

  • Tee Tee

    I feel you sweetie. ALL my life, I had to fight about being “black” enough. Countless stories of bullying from elementary through high school. Made it to the point I don’t even speak to women. Don’t talk, look at,  I don’t care if they’re asking me the time, DON’T SPEAK TO ME! PERIOD! For a  while I hate a DEEP hatred for darker woman. DEEP! But know I’m older  & wiser, I’m more aware off a-holes out there. My mother told me NEVER apologize for the way you are, look nor your thinking. If someone doesn’t like it, screw them. You will NOT make me feel bad about my complexion something I have NO control over.

    • MNM116

      I can relate 100%.

  • hunney85

    I’m a dark skinned woman of Afro Guyanese descent and I hear what you’re saying. The sad truth is though that while we black people continue to discriminate within our own race, every other race still see’s us ALL, regardless of skintone, as black and outsiders

    • Jeneen

      This is so true. I still have in my family, relatives who do the very thing against one another. It’s a shame to see how centuries old tactics that were designed to keep our own race divided against one another are still able to destroy us to this very day.

      • Girliusmaximus

        Oh Lawd my own aunt does that to her husband. When she gets mad at him, all we hear is; “Blackness did so and so…. Blackie makes me sick, Blackie gets on my nerves.” Etc. (She capitalizes the B not us). She married him so deal with it. Some people!

    • sherry

      Thats somewhat true about white people viewing all blacks no matter your skin
      color as black , however from experience as a light skinned woman and when I was
      a little girl there were times that it was very plain to see that white people and even
      some other blacks favored lighter skinned over darker skin. An example, at work one
      of my white female coworkers and I were watching television , and there was some dating
      show on, where a guy would go out with 3 different women and then choose which one
      he wanted to date again. The guy chose a dark skinned girl
      over the white girl and light skin girl. My white co worker said, “Wow, I would have thought
      he would have chosen one of the other girls.” My reply was “Really? Why.”
      Then she told me that “Most black guys usually want to date girls like you”

      I just shrugged and laughed it off. But I had to admit to myself that I already knew
      what she meant. What she meant was that the dark skinned girl did not in her eyes
      seem good enough or pretty enough to be wanted the same way a light skinned
      girl who is pretty would be wanted by a guy.

      There are a number of occasions I could mention that was an eye opener for me
      but it just lets me know that while white people may say that every black person
      is the same there is defiantly a double standard, or a “however” , when it
      comes to light skinned and mixed people.

    • GeertWilders4president

      I do not understand all those bullshit regardless the colour of the skin. Racism is common both among nazifascist and among SJW (their ideals are almost the opposite of those of nazi).
      What really matters is the organ people have inside their skull. Some can use it properly. other can’t.