7 Silly Ways You Are Ruining Your Relationship

November 7, 2011 ‐ By Julia Austin

"Black couple in bed"

The beginning of a relationship is never boring. You’re either excited to see the person, or anxiety-ridden because they’ve taken too long to text back. You’re way too busy just trying to establish a relationship—trying get through the emotional roller coaster that is a new relationship—that it never occurs to you that a complete “now what?!” moment will hit once everything settles. But once that moment hits, once you’re actually in a happy, stable relationship, it’s pretty common to start doing some stupid things for fear of losing it. Like these:

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  • Pacalaga

    Dunno, I would like to read it but can no longer be bothered with the “slideshow” format. Gimme a break, Madame Noire, and please get a new template.

  • I reposted this on my blog and I must say it has cause some interesting responses!

  • dee11

    Everything I read here was so accurate!

  • Afp35

    wow…i so needed this!! i’m guilty of almost all this stuff lol. good thing i read this now before it got out of hand… smh

    • Ernie

      Pride and Ego number one enemy of both men and women. Just admit and let the stronger lead

  • Guest

    Some of these tips are helpful, but some are contradicting. So it’s too nice if you don’t let him know that a comment is offensive, but yet you should shut your trap and keep it bottled up if you feel that the relationship is lacking in the sex dept.? That makes no sense…

  • Yoge002

    I love the differet articles on relationships and this one definitely hit home with me.  I will now take a different stance on the “You’re Too Nice” because I have a fear of losing the relationship.  This was truely an eye opener.

  • Father God, I pray for a return to God and his ways. A return to  meaningful relationships of marriage. Love, Prayers, salvation. Please stop the Genocide of our families with Single family homes, homosexuality, interracial relationships may bring a end the Black Civilization Lord bring our Black men back whole unscarred from the devices sent to destroy the family.

    • JudgeNot

      Not that I agree w/ your post, but …

      It’s “…may bring AN end TO the Black …”

      Anyway, GOD is about love. At a minimum he would expect you to embrace all people, including those “interracial relationship” folks and gay folks you singled out. Judge not…

      • I do agree with you Judgenot, in fact it’s people likeher who destroy humanitie… I’ll be praying for YOUR salvation.

  • Email all news media, magazines and television stop misleading information. Preserve the family. Powerful structures place in order to destroy the family. E-mail, call, fax and Call. Interracial relationships single party life, homosexuality take them down or this will end of black civilization. 

  • why is this all directed towards women? but other than that i think its good.

  • Kashbmaryd

    The first and last things said were the best. Both dealt with trust (ie, not lying) and insecurity (which can lead to trust issues). Like everyone else said, great article.

  • Gemini1287

    Good article. However I think these things apply to men as well. My bf does these things more than I do…

  • This post went hard in the paint. Wow. I was literally cheering while reading it. lol 

  • TYRA

    I found this article to be extremely informative and beneficial. I actually feel some sort of relief in knowing that it is “normal” to be home bodies after many years in our relationship.We love eachother, and enjoy every moment of raising our family…and at the end of the day, that’s what matters and what keeps us going strong.

  • Sdennis334

     I’m guilty of insecurities sometimes, and I need to stop it!!! lol. From time to time, I compare my relationship to that of my friends’. Some of them are really outdoorsy, and while that’s not really my thing, I wonder why I haven’t gone out and done the things they have. Some of them are in new relationships so it’s not reasonable to compare the two. Even if they were in older relationships, we are different people. I need to focus on my relationship and be grateful that we love each other and are happy.  Relationships take work and I definitely need to work on myself. Thank you for a poignant and well-written article, Jaustin.

  • L-Boogie

    I am prideful.  Ooops!

  • Lola21

    Hit it right on the nail, I too feel like i wanna be up under my boyfriend all the time but i know he wants me to go out more with my homegirls , but im starting to grow out of it and be around my friends a little more, because i dont wanna suffocate him all the time.

  • JustAshley

    Thumbs up on the article.***** 🙂

  • ShamikaMH

    “Having too much pride” is another thing… I don’t want to let my boyfriend take care of me because I don’t feel that “its his responsibility” to do so. Go figure…


      Ain’t that that the truth! That’s another major problem i have. I inherited my fathers pride,its been rough!  i’m slowly learning how to let the man be a man. 

  • Cspiercey626

    damn!!!! that was a great article!!! i do all of those things!! lolol

  • Msknowitall

    Wow! Jaustin great advice. I’m struggling with the comparison to other “normal” relationships, even though I know every guy is different and therefore every relationship can’t necessary be the same. Yeah I’m so forwarding this article to some friends.

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  • Lady Of Elixir

    this was actualyl a great article.