Do “The Rules” on Dating Still Apply? Yes — They Worked For Me
It sounds like a lot but think about it — who’s actually taught us women “how” to date? We don’t get a manual at 18 helping us out. We have to pretty much use intuition and discernment to get us through dating while still incurring lots of heartache. I feel The Rules was definitely a great tool for helping women feel more confident and secure on dates. It was a book that not only taught you dating techniques but built your self esteem at the same time. In the book the writers say that being a creature unlike any other is a state of mind. It’s about confidence.
“Being a creature unlike any other is an attitude”: in the book they say this attitude can be learned and practiced. Even if you’re not the most confident or beautiful woman in the world the writers say to keep it to yourself and fake it until you believe it. I feel this is especially true when dealing with men. Men don’t feel like saving a woman from herself. It’s too hard of a job. They don’t want you needing them to convince you that you’re not fat. Men will start to wonder why they chose you in the first place if all you do is belittle yourself.
I personally was introduced to The Rules when I was 19 years old. I received the book for my birthday and didn’t think much of it. I read it once and actually thought it kind of absurd and silly. Around the same I had met a guy. In a joking manner I said to myself “let me try these rules on him.” I thought for sure no man would commit to you by simply following silly rules.
At the time I wasn’t totally interested in the guy but his great interest in me actually made me more interested. Since I didn’t like him as much it was easier for me to do test out these “rules” on him because I felt I had nothing to lose. I must say I was very surprised by the results. I followed these rules to the tee and the guy I was dating ended up doing everything the book said he would do.
At this point I have to be honest, I was a little freaked out. I wasn’t sure if it was “the rules” that made him fall so hard for me or if I’d just gotten super lucky! This is where it gets interesting. When I started to really like him I naturally stopped following some of the rules and it was so crazy how his behavior changed when mine did. I became a little more relaxed. I called him more, started checking in more, became a little more needy then I had been initially and I noticed things became different. At this time I decided to revisit the rules and read them for a second time. When I did, I then became serious about them. When I got serious about the rules he got more serious about me. To make a long story short I was engaged to him 6 months later.
I know that everyone hates game playing. I do as well. But I realized the rules were not exactly game playing. The rules just focus on the evident differences between men and women. As much as we try to fight it, it is apparent men respond accordingly to a woman’s behavior, whether that behavior is positive or negative. Men are natural born hunters and they love to be in control. They naturally get terrified when a woman pressures them about commitment or anything else for that matter. If a woman calls a man too many times she’s labeled a stalker. If we talk too much we’re labeled nags. Believe it or not, I honestly feel that The Rules has done men a favor. It simply makes the woman a little easier to be with.
