Getting Along with a Horrible Family Member Sucks

November 10th, 2011 - By The Manifesto

 

Oh, the things that make one become a different man…a better man.

My girl’s sister’s partner-slash-non-husband is an absolute d!ckbag worthy of being punched in the throat. He’s gives the air of a sour human being, seemingly devoid of any semblance of joy that doesn’t come solely from his young son. He’s icy with “our” side of the family and openly controlling with my girl’s sister.

All that sucks and my heart goes out to her, but that’s not my beef with her. What invited my ire is that he vocalized displeasure at my lady and me even getting together near the beginning of our courtship. I’m guessing dude just didn’t like my black face and all the tattoos. I know for an indisputable fact that this cat is not on my team, and it makes it damn near impossible for me to ever be welcoming to him.

Yet I have to smile at this guy. I need to be civil and pretend like I’m cool and that everything’s 100 when I see him at family outings. My lady has made it explicitly clear that if I get some beef going with him, I’ll be the one that looks bad within the family, even though none of the family actually likes his a*s either.

The whole issue has made me think about what it means to let anyone I dislike anywhere near my familial circle, even if they are technically supposed to be there. I come from my mother’s school of you-might-be-my-blood-but-I-don’t-have-to-love-you-so-don’t-ask-me-for-Shyte, so it’s really difficult for me to imagine having pay for a plate for this clown at my wedding.

And yet, this is part of the sacrifice that we all make for the people we love. Whenever I tell her I’m never shaking his hand again, she says earnestly, “Do it for me,” and I can’t tell her no. She has earned the privilege to command of me maturity and forgiveness to the degree that I give a shotty, half-hearted dap to a dude neither of us likes.

I don’t think she is very sympathetic to my man-code sentiments on the whole issue. Be that as it may, I realize that the path of least resistance involves being congenial to a man I don’t actually have to see regularly. So be it.

I tell you, that bellicose part of me is always waiting for him to give me a reason to punch him in his very punchable face….

Do you have family members or in-laws who you cannot stand? How do you deal with them?

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  • OhPuhleezee

    How do I deal with family members i don’t like?…..I don’t. Life is too short to deal with people that try to bring drama and unhappiness to your life. 

  • Guest

    I have a soon to be in law that I’ve known all my life and she is genuinely just a hater, she is always worried about what I’m doing, and feels the need to put me on the spot and ask me why I did or did not do a particular thing, usually in front of a large group of people.  At the end of the day, I’ve accepted the fact that she’s a hater, and I’m not the one that has to live with her, so I keep it at a simple hi and bye and keep it moving.

  • Ferney167

    Just cut them off and don’t allow them in your life. If you are related to people who will drag you into the gutter, are extremely toxic or use you, get away from them. You can’t pick your family. NO ONE WILL RUIN MY LIFE. I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE.

    • ariesgirl

      I am with you 100% on this.  There is no rule stating that just because someone is family you have to deal with them.  Your friends can be your family.  Not those flaky types of friends.  The ones that you know will ride or die with you.  My closest friends and I have had each others backs for over 20 years.  The term friend doesn’t really describe what we mean to each other.  We grew up together and are still hanging tough.  Sisters is a better word to describe them.

  • Sugar/Spice

    I don’t get along w/ my Dad & I can’t stand his wife because of stuff she’s done to my baby sister. It is so damn hard for me to be cordial with them but my grandma always gives me the “do it for me, forgive for the Lord” guilt trip.  My grandma always makes excuses for my dad & can’t understand how bad they’ve hurt us. This make me dread the holidays :(

  • Real Talk

    Who is this uneducated writer? Stop him from writing for Bossip. Absolutely horrible. 

    • Mr.love

      Shut up!

  • JustAshley

    I have a cousin who gets on my last nerve. This woman grew up with my mother and she’s the same age as my mother. She has no kids of her own and she is divorced. What she does is attach herself to you or your family and then she seeks out ways she can cause chaos within your home. She sits back and watches the drama. She has even done this within our church. She is truly evil, and I am disgusted by her. She especially hates me and she takes pleasure in any type of problem I have. Whenever she is around for family events, she goes out of her way to make catty remarks to me and about me. I used to ignore her, which seemed to make her even angrier. LOL Now I just choose not to be around her at all. She doesn’t get a “hello” or any respectful acknowledgment. My family knows how I feel about her, so they don’t make a fuss when I say I’m not going to any events where she is present. 

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