Oh, the things that make one become a different man…a better man.
My girl’s sister’s partner-slash-non-husband is an absolute d!ckbag worthy of being punched in the throat. He’s gives the air of a sour human being, seemingly devoid of any semblance of joy that doesn’t come solely from his young son. He’s icy with “our” side of the family and openly controlling with my girl’s sister.
All that sucks and my heart goes out to her, but that’s not my beef with her. What invited my ire is that he vocalized displeasure at my lady and me even getting together near the beginning of our courtship. I’m guessing dude just didn’t like my black face and all the tattoos. I know for an indisputable fact that this cat is not on my team, and it makes it damn near impossible for me to ever be welcoming to him.
Yet I have to smile at this guy. I need to be civil and pretend like I’m cool and that everything’s 100 when I see him at family outings. My lady has made it explicitly clear that if I get some beef going with him, I’ll be the one that looks bad within the family, even though none of the family actually likes his a*s either.
The whole issue has made me think about what it means to let anyone I dislike anywhere near my familial circle, even if they are technically supposed to be there. I come from my mother’s school of you-might-be-my-blood-but-I-don’t-have-to-love-you-so-don’t-ask-me-for-Shyte, so it’s really difficult for me to imagine having pay for a plate for this clown at my wedding.
And yet, this is part of the sacrifice that we all make for the people we love. Whenever I tell her I’m never shaking his hand again, she says earnestly, “Do it for me,” and I can’t tell her no. She has earned the privilege to command of me maturity and forgiveness to the degree that I give a shotty, half-hearted dap to a dude neither of us likes.
I don’t think she is very sympathetic to my man-code sentiments on the whole issue. Be that as it may, I realize that the path of least resistance involves being congenial to a man I don’t actually have to see regularly. So be it.
I tell you, that bellicose part of me is always waiting for him to give me a reason to punch him in his very punchable face….
Do you have family members or in-laws who you cannot stand? How do you deal with them?
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