I know it has been said numerous times already but it is worth repeating: You know our moral compasses are really screwed up in society when two gay people in a long-term, loving and committed relationship can’t marry in about just about every states in the Union yet Kim Kardashian can. Because obviously the sanctity of heterosexual marriage including Kim K’s 72-day media blitz…er…I mean, holy matrimony, will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed.
If you happened to be out Trick-or-Treating yesterday or standing in line all day for the return of the McRib sandwich and missed the news, Kim Kardashian has finally come out of the closet and revealed that her marriage to Kris Humphries was a sham. Okay, she didn’t do that exactly but she did confirm in a statement, released through E! News (on the same network that allegedly helped assemble their short-lived union), that she and Humphries were over.
According to her statement, which was released unbeknownst to Humphries, Kardashian said: “After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage. I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best.”
Humphries would later release his own statement in which he poked out his lips, scratched his head in true Willoughby the hound fashion and said: “Duh. Which way should I go, George?” Okay, again, he really didn’t say that but you know that he has to be kicking himself square in the balls for not trying to drag their “marriage” out a few more months – at least until after the NBA lockout was over.
Kardashian will be crying her way all the way to the bank, as she managed to bring in a whopping $17.9 million dollars off her nuptials alone, thanks in part to photo rights, TV specials and other freebies. Just imagine how much she is going to gross during E’s very special Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries divorce split episode?
I’m trying to decide — do I dislike this woman because she is incredible good at capitalizing off of her looks? Or is it really just because she is such a talent-less hack with an annoying baby-voice (I really do have a thing against grown women using baby-voices)? As much as I, and others, ride Beyonce, Rihanna and the likes, at least they sings, dance and work for their fame.
But we, as a society, have allowed people like the Kardashians, who contribute nothing to society to invade our living rooms and reap profit off of our desire to see foolishness played out on TV. In fact, the whole scenario reminds me of that old reality show called Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire. Don’t remember it? Let me give you a brief synopsis:
Long before The Bachelor and The Flavor of Love, Fox, the station that is solely responsible for the rise of the ultra-conservative right wing, brought us a TV special, in which 50 women from around the globe vied to marry, on the spot, Rick Rockwell, a self-proclaimed wealthy businessman. The show, which was like 2 hours tops, made these women compete in pageant-style fashion for his “love.” The highlight, if that’s what you want to call it, came when our eligible millionaire bachelor, selected Darva Conger, a 34-year old platinum-blond nurse with old-fashioned values and morals. Eye roll.
Together, they stood hand and hand in the sort of bliss that could only come from meeting each other literally 30 seconds ago, and said their “I dos.” For her troubles… er… I mean, love, Conger received a three-carat diamond ring and more than $100,000 in prizes, which is not a bad take for someone you met about an hour and a half ago. And although they would divorce two months later, Congers still would come out golden, hawking her wedding ring for cash, making the rounds on the talk-show circuit and doing a spread for Playboy magazine.
As sickening as it sounds, maybe Conger and Kardashian have the right idea. Perhaps marrying for the prospect of money isn’t such a bad idea. The reality is that personal finance issues are the leading cause of divorce. And if men can marry for looks and sexual vigor, why can’t women marry based solely on how financially prosperous it will make them?
I mean, we all know the statistic: women by and large still earn only 75 percent on the dollar compared to their male counterparts. And that number decreases if you are a minority and/or a mother, whose careers often stall after motherhood. Marrying a gold-plated Prince Charming could be the salvation needed to ensure one’s financial stability. But the flip side to that coin is that gold digging is often risky business. Daddy Warbucks could die before the sunset clause in the prenuptial agreement legally expires and you would be eligible for a share of his wealth (ahem, Anne Nicole Smith). Or worse, he could be a gambling-addicted drunk, who loses his money and you’re left with a broke drunk man, who you really didn’t love in the first place. Then where would you be? Probably on a Housewives show, peddling cheap costume jewelry and flimsy looking clothing, ala She by Sheree. And you don’t want that, now do you?
As the old saying goes, if you marry for money, you will definitely earn it. And while you may be able to indulge in life’s better rewards for a time being you always have to remember that the man with the money is the one in control. Unless of course, you have the ingenuity to turn your exploits into a brand, just like Kim Kardashian, who has managed to change the gold-digging game all together, ditching the rescue fantasies and opting to take her destiny into her own hands. And thus far, with her own line of makeup, perfume, clothing and even bed sheets, it has been pretty profitable. Oh and did you know that today, she, along with her sisters, are opening a new store today in Las Vegas? Great timing, huh? Heavy sigh.
Charing Ball is the author of the blog People, Places & Things.
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