Socially Awkward Things You Need To Stop Doing On Dates
Nobody’s amazing at first dates (except for sociopaths—they’re great at being charming under the worst conditions). First dates are designed to be uncomfortable. First dates are all, “Hi! Here we are. Both admittedly looking for love and trying to determine if maybe that love can be here…all within a one to three-hour interaction.” The only way to really know if there is a connection is to relax and keep the conversation casual. Of course, nothing about a first date makes you feel relaxed or casual. Now some people have tactics to trick themselves into feeling calm so they can have some semblance of a normal interaction. If you’re not one of those people, then you probably end up saying a lot of things that make you cringe later. If you don’t know what those things are, thank goodness you’re here. Here are socially awkward things you need to stop doing on dates.
The hug/handshake hybrid
Just make a decision before you get there: you’re either decidedly going in for the hug or decidedly going in for the handshake. But, for goodness sake, stop getting so close that it seems like you’re going in for the hug, and then abruptly sticking your hand out.
Guessing if he’s dating anyone else
“Who’s texting you? Another woman. Just kidding. Not that it couldn’t be another woman. It’s totally fine if it is. I wouldn’t presume you’re not seeing other women, all because you had one date scheduled….” Yeah—stop that.
Apologizing for the place you picked
If you love the place then have confidence in it. If it isn’t your date’s scene, and he’s not being too subtle about that fact, then he’s the jerk. You like what you like, and you like this Tiki bar. Your date probably wouldn’t be bothered by the place, but he’ll be bothered by you apologizing for your personal taste.
Telling the server it’s a first date
Your server didn’t ask if this was a first date. She just asked if you’d like to split a bottle of wine. Now you’re explaining to her that neither of you really know if you like each other yet, so maybe you’ll just start with a glass of wine each and if things go well, you’ll get a full bottle.
Explaining your outfit, and the failed outfits
When your date tells you he likes your outfit, you don’t just thank him. You tell him how difficult it was for you to pick out an outfit. You tell him about all the other outfits that didn’t make the cut. You explain, in detail, that you thought it was just sexy enough without coming on too strong.
Asking if that’s his escape call
When your date gets a phone call in the middle of the date, you jokingly ask if that’s his escape phone call. Then you say, “Oh. Imagine how awkward that would be if that was your escape phone call. Oh no. Is that your escape phone call?”
Joking that this is your escape call
When you get a phone call, you joke around and say that’s your escape call. Why do you keep doing this to everyone? You put yourself in the position to say, “I’m joking! I like you!” Yikes.
Saying, “Not that I assume they’re be a second date…”
You can talk about places and events you think your date would like, without him thinking you’re suggesting you’ll do those things together. So next time you mention a restaurant you think your date would like, please don’t add, “Not that I was assuming there was a second date!”
Asking approximately when he might call
Your date says, at the end of the night, that he’ll call you next week. Then you ask, “Around when next week? Like, ballpark? Because I’m usually in yoga during the evenings from 6 to 8 and I don’t get great reception there so, if you do call then, I may never even see the missed call.”
Mentioning he’d like your friend
It’s normal to tell your date about your best friend. It’s not normal to add that you think he’d really like her. What’s going on now? Are you playing matchmaker for your date?
Asking if you’re a good date
“How is this going? Am I doing okay? On a scale of one to you want to leave right now, how bad is this? Hahahahaha!”
Thanking him for not being a serial killer
It’s wonderful that he’s not a serial killer. It’s truly great news. You don’t need to thank him for it. That shows you’ve set the bar pretty low for your dates. Besides, what if he is a serial killer? Awkward! (Also, always bring mace and never let a first date pick you up in his car).
Telling him how much you hate dating
You both hate dating. Everybody hates dating! But in the spirit of trying to have some success in dating, you’re not really supposed to say how much you hate dating. When you say this, you’re subtly saying, “So you better make up for all the terrible dates I’ve been on.”
Telling him he can kiss you if he wants
If he wants to kiss you, you’ll know it. You don’t need to instruct him, at the end of the date, when he was nowhere near kissing you, that he can kiss you if he wants. If you want him to kiss you, you’ve probably been sending those signals all night. It wasn’t just a loud “You can kiss me now!” that was keeping him from making themove.
Asking, “Is that a problem?”
You’re going to tell your date things about yourself. Sometimes, those things may surprise your date. He may even seem a little disappointed. Stop asking if the piece of information you just gave him is a problem. It’s who you are, so it’s not a problem.