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Even soul mates don’t want the same things all of the time. If you don’t believe in soul mates, but do believe you’ve found the person with whom you’re the most compatible in this world, you may still find there are times that what you really want or need is not what’s best for your partner. This is a tricky place to be, and can even make you wonder if you and your partner aren’t meant to be together. But you’re not one joint soul. Every relationship goes through times when each person needs different things ranging from a more active social life, more time spent on their career, or more time spent with family. And it seems like in order for one person to get what they need the other has to make a sacrifice. Here is how to know when to push for what you want in a relationship.
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Who needs a win?
Let’s say you’re arguing over where to vacation, or whose family to spend the holidays with. Maybe you spent the last holidays with your partner’s family but what else is going on in your partner’s life? It’s not as simple as saying, “You had it your way last time so now I should have it my way.” If your partner is going through a particularly hard time—maybe he lost his job or a friend—maybe he needs the win. Maybe your spirit can handle not seeing your family for this holiday, but his spirit can’t. Consider the bigger picture.
