Reasons To At Least Try Get Along With Your Mother-In-Law
If you’re very lucky, you may love your mother-in-law. You may even like her more than you like your own mom (but don’t tell your mom that—it’ll only start a huge fight.) But, like with most family members, you’re bound to have some disputes or differences in perspective with your mother-in-law. Here’s the thing: you can’t quite stand up to your mother-in-law the way you can with your own mom. There is a degree of separation there that makes talking to your mother-in-law the way you often talk to your mom off limits. In fact, talking to her that way could damage the relationship forever, which would be very hard on your spouse. So think twice before telling your mother-in-law what’s been on your mind: that relationship is more valuable than you may understand now. Here are reasons you should get along with your mother-in-law.
She can back you up on your partner’s health
You know how it’s impossible to get your partner to go to the doctor? You know how you have to constantly nag him to eat healthier and exercise? You know how you’d love him to cut back on the cigarettes or the alcohol? He may not listen to you, but he will listen to his mom. You can get her to back you up when it comes to your partner’s health.
She can be a babysitter
Hello! Free babysitters! No babysitter will love and cherish your kids like their grandparents will. And grandparents will take care of them for free. In fact, they’ll look forward to babysitting. If you ruin your relationship with your mother-in-law, you’re going to regret it when you have to pay a babysitter $200 so you and your partner can go away for four days.
She may be your emergency contact
If you no longer have parents, or they’re unavailable, your mother-in-law may be your emergency contact one day. Furthermore, if your partner is ever in the hospital, you’re going to want all the emotional support and help you can get. Your mother-in-law can be a tremendous comfort when her son—the person you both love most in this world—is in poor health.
She can stop your partner’s tantrums
Nobody knows how to get your partner to calm down like his mom. And yes, grown men throw tantrums just like children. If you want to see someone expertly squash your partner’s immature reaction to something then observe the master—his mother.
You both love your partner more than anyone in the world
Two people in this world love your partner more than anyone else: you and your mother-in-law. His dad loves him a lot too but there’s nothing like the bond between a mother and her child. You should have a relationship with the person who feels just as strongly about your husband as you do.
Your kids should know their grandparents
Even if you aren’t particularly fond of your in-laws, think about how nice it was for you to have all the family together for the holidays, birthdays and vacations as a child. If you maintain a good relationship with your mother-in-law then you can give that to your kids.
You may need financial help
Let’s face it: you may need the financial help of your in-laws one day. You could need them to cosign a loan with you and your partner so you can get a home, or send your children to college. You may need them to help you with medical bills for your kids, or for yourself! Do you really want to strain that relationship?
She’s not going anywhere
There’s one little thing people can forget when they stand up to their in-laws or tell them what they really think about them: they’re not going anywhere. Now you all just have to sit through your child’s birthday parties together, for the rest of your lives, knowing you were pretty mean to them at one point. Think about if you really want that awkwardness before laying it all out on the table with your mother-in-law. Even if you get angry with her, you’ll be happy in the long run if you respond with patience and tact.
It’s important for your bond with your partner
If you don’t have a good relationship with your partner’s mother, you’re not going to have a good relationship with your partner. The moment your partner feels he needs to choose between spending time with his family and spending time with you, your bonds will immediately start to weaken.
She made your partner
Your mother-in-law made your partner. The man you love more than anyone on this planet would not exist without her. She raised him. She saw to his mental and emotional development. You probably do see eye-to-eye on many things, you just don’t know it yet.
She knows about your partner’s childhood
Your partner’s childhood will be a big predictor of what sort of parent he is. He may not remember everything because he was, after all, a little kid for most of it. But his mother can give you a lot of insight into his childhood.
There are some things you can’t tell your mom
There are some things on which you’d like insight from an older woman, but you just can’t talk to your mom about them. A mother-in-law can really come in handy for those things. These can be related to feminine health, depression and a lot of other sensitive subjects that would just upset your own mother too much.
You should get along for your children
It’s really hard on children when their parents and grandparents don’t get along. Regardless of what you think of your in-laws, your children should love them and have a strong relationship with them. In order for that to happen, you’ll need to get along with them.
You may not always have your parents
It’s sad to say, but you may not always have your parents. If your parents pass away early, you’ll be so grateful to still have some parental presence in your life. We all need a little guidance, no matter how old we are.
Family is a gift
Family is a gift and you just got more of it. You may not always get along with your mother-in-law, but at the end of the day, she’ll have your back. She’ll treat your problems like her own. She’ll care about your health and your children like they’re her own. Family will be there for you when nobody else will, and now you have a little extra family. Cherish them.