If You Must Social Media Stalk Your Date, Look For This
I can’t say for certain that social media stalking your date is a good idea. Even those with great self-control can often lose control once they’re on their date’s profile and can wind up deep down the rabbit hole of looking up any female that ever commented on a photo or posted on the man’s page. But I’d be naïve to say that there isn’t some tremendous value in the fact that we can now learn a bit about our dates before we meet them. Perhaps we can spot total deal breakers before the first date, so we don’t waste anybody’s time. Perhaps we can discover our date isn’t who he says he is, and that’s something to worry about. If you’re going to look at your date’s social media before meeting him, do it in smart, effective way. If you must social media stalk your date, look for this.
A dozen short-lived relationships
A man’s social media profile can be a great place to identify his relationship habits. Be wary of a man who seems to be in a new relationship every few months, posting photos obsessively of him and his boos, and then moving onto a new one as if the last one never existed. You should also be wary of someone who has been in long-term relationship after long-term relationship for a decade. He may struggle to be alone, and you may just be his next target.
If it seems like your partner only uses social media to promote his business, that can say a few things—it’s all about the nature of the posts. If he doesn’t post often, but the few times he does post a week are to notify the public of something happening in his business, he could just not be that into social media and just using it for professional purposes. If he promotes his work several times a day on social media, he may be a workaholic. He posts constantly, but never anything social or fun? That’s not a good sign.
Be wary of any one who goes on long rants about how rude someone was in a parking lot or how the government should be run. These individuals can be a handful—the type of people who ask to speak to the manager at restaurants a lot and refuse to have a peaceful dinner with someone of varying political views. Ranting to the public about your opinions is also often a sign of feeling insecure about your opinions and ideas.
Short cries for help
Facebook is not really an appropriate place to write, “I’m feeling depressed.” It is strange that that individual A) doesn’t have any close contacts who he can call, or meet for coffee, when he is feeling down and B) that he would want to solicit the attention of strangers during a private and difficult time. Mostly stable individuals usually call a close friend when they are feeling truly depressed.
Tons of blackout photos
It’s fine that the guy goes out, drinks and has fun. But if the majority of his photos contain alcohol, and depict him being belligerently drunk, he may be a bit of an alcoholic. It also shows that he is proud of this lifestyle (he posted the photos, or at least he didn’t untag himself). Keep that in mind.
You want to find a guy who has managed to keep some life-long or at least long-term friendships. If every few months of photos seem to show brand new groups of best friends who disappear suddenly, your date may be someone who regularly burns bridges. When someone can’t keep a friend for more than a year or so, he probably has unstable behavior that pushes people away.
Lots of selfies
Confident, stable, secure men don’t post tons of selfies. They just don’t. I’m sorry if this comment upsets some people but if so, you may be the problem. The truth is that confident, stable and secure people of any gender don’t post a lot of selfies. When I say a lot, I mean more than one a day…perhaps three to five a day. Selfies seek constant affirmation that the person is attractive and that people are paying attention to them.
Has this person had one or a small handful of jobs, all long-term, and in the same industry? Or has he had a different job each six months to a year, often in different industries? The latter is likely lost and irresponsible. It’s tough to date a man who isn’t settled in his career yet, or at least doesnt know what he wants to do.
Beware of angry posts. People who post angry rants online tend to just be angry people in real life. And also know that some of the angriest people are great at appearing happy in real life, because they unleash their wrath on the Internet. But if you see angry rants online, that person will probably unleash his wrath on you one day.
Are there any? Be concerned if a man posts a lot of photos but someone hasn’t managed to post a photo with his family in several years. Also look at posts from around the holidays—does he spend them with family? Is there any mention of time with his family? Dating a man who is estranged from his family can be dangerous territory. Of course, if everything else seems normal, give him a chance. Maybe he just likes to respect his family’s privacy.
No female friends
A grown man should be able to have female friends. If he only hangs out with men, then he probably tries to sleep with every woman he meets, and that’s why he cannot have female friends. At the very least, women can’t stand to be around him for long, so he doesn’t hang out with many on a regular basis. That’s a red flag.
All female friends
There’s nothing wrong with a man who has mostly female friends, but it’s something you should prepare yourself for, and ask yourself if you’re willing to deal with. His female friends will be protective of you, they will judge you and they may even be jealous of you. If this guy has 15 female friends he regularly hangs out with, I guarantee you he at least made out with if not slept with one or two at some point.
It’s never a good sign when someone posts on social media every hour. That means that they aren’t very content with their life, and like to live online instead. At the very least, it means they won’t be present on dates or in your relationship. It could also mean they are insecure and require a lot of attention. None of this is positive.
Photos of luxury items/vacations
If this man can afford nice items and trips, good for him. But if he flaunts them online, that’s repulsive. There is a difference between a man who has money and lets his money define him. Men who post a lot of photos of their nice watches, cars and hotel rooms usually fall into the latter category.
Posts about his success
Everyone deserves a little humble brag from time to time. But watch out for men who regularly go on about how they’re the best, about how they’re proving everyone wrong, about how nobody can take them down and about how they’re throwing their success in the face of “haters.” This guy may have an enormous ego.