Serious Question: Is It Disrespectful Not To Spend Father’s Day With Your Kids?

June 19, 2017  |  

Happy african child and his father isolated on a white background

Every year Father’s Day is a controversial topic, thanks to a plethora of absentee dads and a slew of single mothers and products of single mothers all to anxious to expose the men who weren’t there for them when they needed them. But I recently discovered it’s not only past absenteeism that hurts. What about the men who are somewhat active in their childrens’ lives but decline to spend the one holiday of the year where the country actually gives a damn about fathers with their children? Is that as effed up as it sounds or should men be free to celebrate as they choose?

Yesterday, Joseline posted (and later deleted) the image below, following in the footsteps of many pained men and women who had no one to celebrate yesterday. It was obvious from the post that Stevie was missing from Bonnie Bella’s life on Father’s Day like he had been many other days over the past 10 months, but what made things worse was when the receipts came in today.

#PostAndDelete #JoselineHernandez 👀 #StevieJ

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It appears Stevie was too busy lounging in murky waters filled with half-naked twerking ladies to be with Bonnie, Eva, or his other four children on Father’s Day. And while I was appalled at the scene, reactions on social media and from my own co-worker were mixed, with some asking, what do you expect (which I also agree with)? And others saying, “He is having fun on Father’s Day! Let him do what he wants today.”

Immediately, my mind trailed back to Saturday night when I was hanging with a group of people from my boxing class and one of the guys said he texted his dad to hang out the next day, which was Father’s Day, and his dad told him he already had plans. Since the guy’s siblings don’t live in New York, he knew his dad’s plans involved a woman. And though he acknowledged that was “f-cked up,” he brushed off the incident, at least in front of us, and went on enjoying the night. I, on the other hand, was still on the f-cked up part, which is pretty much how I felt the next day when I called my own dad and he didn’t answer or return my call. Considering we just got cool a couple of years ago and this is maybe one of five Father’s Days I’ve even acknowledged him, I thought he should appreciate my gesture a bit more. Twenty-four hours later, I still have’t heard from him.

I’m all for celebrating how you want to celebrate on a day that’s about you, but Father’s Day is as much for children as it is for dads and denying your children the opportunity to be with you on that day is downright selfish and dismissive. It’s one thing to say, “I don’t feel like going out,” it’s another not to even let your kids come by the house, or to push them aside for a woman — or women — who they can see at any time. If fathers want Father’s Day to be taken more seriously, maybe they should start taking it more serious themselves.

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