Realities Of Being The Much Fitter Partner In The Relationship
You can’t help who you fall in love with, and if you fall in love with someone who is slightly out of shape—or even severely out of shape—well, kudos because you clearly aren’t superficial. But when you start dating someone, you only know what it’s like to see them in short bursts of time. You get together once a week at first, then twice, then you throw in a couple sleepovers every week…but ultimately, you go home to your separate apartments and separate lives. When things are still casual, you may not know how your partner’s health choices could affect your relationship, but once things get serious and you live together, things change. The way you both eat, exercise and tend to your physical bodies plays a big role in the romantic relationship. Here are some realities of being the much fitter partner in the relationship.
Splitting groceries is unfair
You’re expected to split the cost of the groceries but the truth is that you certainly don’t split the eating of the groceries. You probably eat 25 percent of them and your partner eats the other 75 percent. Of course, you can’t say, “I should only have to pay for a quarter of these” because it makes you sound petty.
Splitting groceries doesn’t even work
Another frustrating element of grocery shopping together is that you don’t want to buy the same things. At all. Your partner wants things from the snack isle. You don’t even visit the snack isle. You want things from the fresh produce section, and your partner just stands on the outskirts of it until you’re done picking out lettuce.
People hit on you, assuming you’re single
A lot of people can’t wrap their head around the fact that a fit person and a fat person would be together. So often, when you’re out with your man, other men hit on you, assuming he’s just your friend or a family member. You’ve had to politely put your hand on your partner to show others you’re taken, and you see the shocked looks on their faces.
Your mom gives him health tips
Your parents try to give your partner health tips. They can’t help it—they’re parents! When they see someone making unhealthy choices, they have to say something. But it’s rather embarrassing for you since you, personally, would never be that blatant with your partner.
You can exercise or be together
You can either exercise or hang out with your partner, but you can’t do both at the same time because your partner doesn’t like to work out. It’s a shame because if he got into exercising, you could spend more quality time together. And you’re not going to give up your healthy habits to hang out with him.
You feel odd around your fit male friends
You feel guilty simply hanging out with men who are in good shape. You worry that your partner will get jealous, or wonder if you ever wish he looked like those men. This situation is frustrating because you didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t give the fit guys muscles just like you didn’t give your partner fat.
People assume he’s wealthy
Some vicious people make comments, insinuating the only reason you must be with an overweight person is that he is wealthy or well-connected. They cannot fathom that you just like the guy for who he is.
You have to be delicate
You constantly need to choose your words carefully when giving your partner advice. You often have to bite your tongue when you feel the urge to say, “Don’t do that”, “You shouldn’t do that” or “You’re not allowed to do that.”
Sex positions can be limited
Your partner doesn’t have the stamina to carry out a lot of the sex positions you actually love. You spend a lot of time on top. Oh, and going again within an hour of the first time is out of the question.
Sometimes he seems selfish
You find yourself angry at your partner sometimes because you know his poor health choices might result in health problems down in future. That means he won’t be in good shape to take care of your children, and may even pass away early, leaving you alone.
People make comments
People think it’s okay to say things to your partner like, “How did you land a woman like that?” When they say this, you think, “He landed me because he has a good personality. Unlike you.”
You worry about having children
You worry about what it will be like to discipline your children and teach them about healthy living. You don’t want your partner’s unhealthy habits to rub off on your kids, but you also don’t want to fight with your partner constantly about what to feed your children.
Sometimes, you feel like his mom
Sometimes you feel more like your partner’s mother than his partner. You often ask him what he’s eating and what he’s doing, just to let him know somebody’s watching him so maybe he’ll make healthier choices.
You worry things could get worse with age
Your partner may be able to get away with eating five burgers a week now, but in the future, that could mean heart disease, high cholesterol and a slew of other issues. Your partner’s eating habits have turned from endearing to worrisome.
You hate his self-deprecating comments
It makes you sad when your partner calls himself fat or chubby. But you also cannot honestly say, “You’re not fat” which leaves you in an awkward situation.