What Happens When You Quit Caffeine

June 9, 2017  |  
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You probably didn’t believe there could be such thing as being addicted to caffeine until the day came when you had a terrible, seemingly incurable headache and anxiety creeping in that you realized could only be cured by…dun dun DUN…coffee. Or an energy drink. Or a double bag cup of black tea. And that day scared you a little bit because you thought you could brag about being someone who didn’t rely on anything. You are just all natural, exercise, eat well and have self-made energy, right? Apparently not. So if you are considering cutting out old Joe, here is what happens when you quit caffeine.

You’ll have whiter teeth

Your dentist has been pestering you for years to cut back on the coffee. Your caffeine habit is browning your teeth or destroying them with sugar so if you quit it, you can spend a little less on teeth whitening and fillings.

 

 

 

 

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You’ll have better breath

Coffee breath is not exactly appealing. You can try to cover it up with gum, but most gum has sugar (which is bad for your teeth) or artificial sweetener (which is bad for your stomach).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You’ll cut the pastries

You know, the ones you have with your coffee to cut the bitterness. You can’t possibly have your coffee without your Danish or your muffin. Now you can cut those calories, and save money.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No more coffee dates

Men can’t ask you out for coffee–they’ll need to take you out on real dates at restaurants with food and cocktails. Gone are the BS days of men asking you out for coffee so they can bail early if they aren’t into it. You’ll find the real men now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You could lose weight

The acidity in coffee can irritate your stomach lining, which can feel similar to hunger. That’s another reason you have to eat that muffin with your coffee. Cutting caffeine could help you get a better grasp on your appetite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You’ll spend less on toilet paper

You know what that cup of coffee does to you–it keeps several things moving on the inside. If you quit coffee you could spend a little less on toilet paper.

You could smell better down there

Have you ever noticed that, after drinking a lot of coffee, your urine smells just like a fresh pot of coffee? That means your va-jay-jay smells like it too. And tastes like it. Which may not be something your partner loves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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You’ll sleep better

You’ll make yourself sleep better because you won’t be able to say “I can stay up late tonight and just drink energy drinks tomorrow.” You’ll develop healthier sleeping habits because you cannot rely on caffeine.

 

 

 

 

You’ll lower your blood pressure

Quitting caffeine can lower your blood pressure a small amount according to some studies. You’ll certainly notice that you feel less panicked and your heart beats at a more normal pace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your moods will stabilize

Caffeine can send you on a moody roller coaster. You’ll be positive and perky after your cup of Joe, but cranky, sad and irritable when the caffeine wears off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You could kill your migraines

Many people don’t realize that caffeine triggers their migraines. Cutting the stuff could help you say goodbye to these debilitating headaches.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You’ll create less trash

You’ll throw out fewer energy drink cans, paper coffee cups, sugar packets and ground coffee bean canisters.

 

 

 

 

 

You’ll cut your sugar intake

Unless you’re a total bad*ss who drinks her coffee black, you likely add either real sugar or artificial sweetener to your coffee, neither of which are good for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You’ll lower your tolerance

If you quit caffeine for a while then when you return to it a little will go a long way. If you can restrict yourself to one or two cups of coffee a day, you could set your body up to need less caffeine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Less coffee room talk

You’ll get caught up in fewer meaningless and energy-sucking conversations in the break room at work.

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