Beautiful young women at birthday party with defocused lights on background
“You should go to Colombia for your birthday this year.”
That’s the text my friend Ashley sent a few weeks ago that planted the seed for me to spend my next birthday exploring the streets of Cartagena. I quickly began planning, sharing the idea with my sister and two mutual friends of Ashley and I’s to get the ball rolling. All four ladies were in and I felt good about spending my born day with the women closest to me.
About a week later, Ashley asked if it was okay if she invited two other girls on the trip. I knew one of them but I told her I just wanted my closest girls around to celebrate my b-day and that was the end of the discussion. Fast forward another week later, and one of the women Ashley mentioned to me and some other stranger have purchased tickets to go to Cartagena during my birthday week.
“I know it seems like I did the same thing I always complain about,” Ashley said while explaining why these other women had suddenly become a part of my festivities, despite my wishes to the contrary. Ashley, ironically, is always the one who gets upset when one of the other women in our circle invites randoms on our planned vacations which is why it didn’t just “seem” like she did the same thing she complains about, she actually did.
To make matters worse, Ashley claimed she didn’t know the trip to Cartagena was my birthday trip, despite the fact that the dates coincide with the day I came into this world. Oh, and that text she sent telling me I should go to Colombia for my birthday. (You know I still had the message in my phone so I kindly sent her a screenshot and got to the real heart of the matter.)
“You just don’t care about my feelings,” I told Ashley. At this point, the issue was much bigger than having to accommodate strangers on a trip. It was about Ashley asking me how I felt about something and then going and doing the exact opposite of what I wanted. And, yes, there was still the issue of two more bodies having to be considered for lodging and even activities where, again, I only wanted my closest friends and my sister.
There’s still a little over a month before the trip, but tickets have been purchased so there’s no going back. I told Ashley on my actual birthday her guests aren’t welcome for the activities I have planned. I also let her know she’s welcome to join us, but it would be her responsibility to explain to her friends why they aren’t included. How that will all play out, I have no idea. Any advice for getting through this trip?
