Things Only People Who Hate PDA Understand

April 20, 2017  |  
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Close-up of African American young couple kissing outdoors in summer

How do you explain to someone you love that your unwillingness to be affectionate in public is no way an indication of how much you love them? Since the majority of people in love show their feelings through physical affection, cannot help but touch their partner any time they’re together (whether they’re in a public or private setting) and don’t even notice they’re doing it, it’s very hard for them to understand that your hesitancy toward PDA isn’t personal. Being uncomfortable with physical displays of affection can be a rather lonely feeling—you’re usually one of the only ones in your friend group, and it’s hard to find people who relate to you. But they are out there! So if it’s any consolation, here are things only people who don’t like PDA understand.

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People think you’re cold-hearted

People often mistake your discomfort with PDA as a sign that you suffer from some type of emotional issue or are downright cold and heartless.





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Your partner’s friends are suspicious of you

Your partner’s friends think the only reason you won’t touch your partner in public is because you’re embarrassed to be with the person, or you are also seeing other people.


It can incite jealousy and paranoia

You need to take extra care to “behave yourself” around other men, since the mere fact that you won’t touch your partner in public makes him more prone to jealousy and paranoia.






"Man flirting with woman"

In fact, people often mistake you for single

It’s pretty common that guys openly hit on you in front of your partner. Since you weren’t being affectionate with your partner, men just assume you’re single. It starts quite a few arguments with your boo.


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Photos are awkward

You hate photo time because people don’t generally accept your desire to stand a few inches away from everyone.









Private affection is very important

Since you aren’t big on public displays of affection, it’s very important to you that when you’re alone with your partner, you’re all over each other! This is prime time for snuggling.





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Rare moments of PDA are very important

Should you feel moved to show affection in public from time to time, it’s so important that your partner embraces and encourages that. Yeah—it’s a lot of pressure on your partner.






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Other people’s PDA makes you uncomfortable, too

You’re not just uncomfortable showing PDA—you’re also uncomfortable watching it! If a couple is making out in public, you feel like you accidentally stumbled into their bedroom, or onto some private setting.






You lose your partner in crowds a lot

Since you aren’t big on walking hand-in-hand, you often lose your partner in crowded places. You wish the two of you could just be tied together at the hips.





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You’re extremely aware of your surroundings

You are very empathetic, and you worry about making people jealous, sad or uncomfortable—even people you don’t know. Part of the reason you don’t show a lot of public affection is for fear of making an already sad, lonely person feel sadder and lonelier.




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You hate how it hurts your partner

You aren’t heartless—you do see how it makes your partner sad and it does hurt you to see that.




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Pet names count as PDA

Yes, someone calling you pumpkin, or honey pie, or boo thang, or baby cakes does count as PDA.







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Baby talk also counts as PDA

Your partner speaking to you in a baby voice also counts as PDA and you wish he’d cool it.








No, you don’t want to be converted

When people find out you don’t like PDA, they go on a mission to convert you into someone who does. They try to analyze you and discover what deep-rooted issue has put you off to PDA. It’s exhausting.






You show affection in your own ways

You really wish your partner would recognize that you have your own ways of showing you care. Maybe it’s remembering to pick up his favorite ice cream, or simply being there any time he needs to vent.





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PDA seems like showing off to you

Sometimes, PDA seems like a way couples show off to the world, “I’m hotter than you; somebody wants me; my life is more together than your life.”







You’re private, in general

If you’re private about affection, you’re likely a private person in general. This means you don’t want your partner making jokes about your sex life to his friends.













You feel like a third wheel around PDA

If you’re hanging out with a couple who is being super affectionate, you feel like you should just go home. You almost want to ask, “Am I in the way here?”






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You get a little into it when you’re drunk

Sometimes, when you’ve had a few drinks, you get into PDA. But this does not mean you’ve turned a corner with the issue.

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