Are You Reckless In Relationships?
Do you feel like relationships never work out for you? Do you also feel like every breakup is pretty dramatic, turbulent, disruptive to your life and overall a huge deal? Plenty of people go through a lot of breakups before finding their life partner, but they manage to do them without theatrics, lawsuits, restraining orders, financial complications and so on. In fact, a lot of people—believe it or not—don’t even consider ending things with someone they’ve only been saying for a few months a breakup. Those are just flings that never took off. But if you feel that every fling you’ve had was substantial and every breakup you’ve had rocked your world, it could be because you have—how do we say this—no chill. Here are signs you are reckless in relationships.
You move in very fast
You’ve lived with most people you’ve dated, and you’ve moved in with most of them within half a year of knowing them. So, you give up the apartment you love, and risk the headache of moving out if there is a breakup, for somebody you barely know. Yes—you barely know them. Whether you want to admit that or not.
You travel together almost immediately
For all you know, you could just be a rebound for this person, he could be a sociopath, he could be embezzling money from his company and—oh—he could be (and probably is) just not right for you, but you’re going to drop a grand and give up your precious vacation days for a trip with him? Seems normal…
You fight with someone on one of the first dates
Plenty of people get in a fight on one of their first few dates. Rational people think to themselves, “The first few dates are supposed to be a breeze. If we can’t get along for three brief interactions, then we aren’t compatible and I should just move on.” You, however, give the fight as much importance as if you’ve been dating this person for a year, you have it out—yelling and all—and you plan another date.
Actually, all of your relationships involve a lot of fights
You’ve never been in a relationship in which a day went by without some sort of fight. Relationships, to you, are just series of arguments that you work through to enjoy maybe twenty minutes of peace and affection a day.
You call two-month things “relationships”
That is not a relationship. If your relationship were a statue in the making, it would be a giant blob of clay, from which the artist would have maybe sculpted something that resembles a toe so far.
You’re all in, very fast
You talk to your friends about all the reasons you could see yourself spending your life with this person, and you’ve only known each other for three weeks. Oh, and you start spending nearly every day together after the first day of meeting one another.
And when you’re out, you hate the person
You don’t have peaceful breakups. You don’t even have breakups where the two of you at least pretend to be peaceful. You invest yourself so heavily in baby relationships that when they don’t work out, you hate the person.
You’ve been engaged several times
An engagement isn’t something to be taken lightly! If you’ve been engaged several times (and to men you knew less than half a year) then it sounds like you’re more in those engagements for the theatrics and attention that come with them, than the actual intention to spend your life with that person.
You end up working with all of your partners
You somehow end up starting a business with every partner, or becoming their office manager, or acting as their consultant. You meld your life together with theirs entirely, even if you never had experience in their industry before.
You always have a lifeboat
You’re always in relationships, and you always have other ones lined up should things fail. If the person you’re with right now broke up with you, you know exactly whom you would date next.
You’ve been divorced more than once…and you’re young
If you’ve been divorced more than once before your mid-thirties, you’re probably a bit reckless in relationships. Most people need several years to reassess themselves after their first divorce before getting remarried. And then they choose someone they probably won’t get a divorce from, because they’ve learned so much from their first marriage.
You consider having babies with someone soon
If you get along with a man for a few months, you quickly start thinking about him as being the father of your future child. You even start talking about it…how you’d parent the kid, where you’d raise him…
You’ve tried having babies with someone soon
You have tried to have babies with someone you were with less than a year. The relationship didn’t work out, so you’re quite lucky the pregnancy didn’t occur. But then you tried that again with future men.
You buy property with somebody after a few months
Owning property together is a huge commitment! No matter how much financial sense it makes for the two of you to go in on a condo by the beach, it makes no sense to tie your life so closely to that of someone you barely know.
All your relationships are on-again-off-again
After a certain age (let’s say, 25) there shouldn’t be on-again-off-again relationships. Plenty of couples out there can tell you that they’ve managed to just be on for decades.
Your friends have stopped listening to you
If your friends have started to tune out when you talk about your current relationship, it’s because they know you’re just going to blow it up somehow, so what’s the point in them investing?
Your friends have stopped getting excited for you
When you announce that you’re moving in with someone/engaged/buying property with someone again, your friends can barely pretend to be excited for you. They don’t even all make it to your engagement or housewarming party. Why? Because they’ve spent too much emotional energy and money on the relationships you end up destroying.
Your friends have stopped feeling sorry for you
When you break up with somebody, your friends don’t take your tearful calls as much or come to your rescue. They know that your relationships aren’t really–well–real. You knew the guy for a few months, got way too involved, and (by no surprise to them) it didn’t work out. If your friends dropped everything they were doing every time you went through a breakup, they’d never get anything done.
You lie about your relationship past
You don’t tell new dates or partners much about your relationship past. This is because you know, deep down, that the truth would reveal deep issues on your part.
You see happy couples as “boring”
If you see happy, stable couples as boring then there is a good chance you’re reckless in relationships. You’re still insecure, or not facing some emotional issue, and that leaves you craving drama and problems.