Sex Droughts Every Couple Experiences
If you’re with someone for years, or even decades (we should all be so lucky!) then you’re bound to have some sex droughts in your relationship. You can’t possibly go at it like you did when you first started dating, or on your honeymoon, forever. That’s okay—it happens to everybody. Most people only like to have sex when they feel emotionally connected to their partner, when they feel happy about their other relationships (family, friends), when they feel they’re thriving in their career, and when they don’t have any major stress happening in their life. Most of life does not present that perfect marriage of circumstances, so it’s no surprise that sometimes, as a couple, you won’t do it for months on end, but that doesn’t mean something’s wrong. Here are sex droughts every couple inevitably faces.
When you first move in together
When you first move in with your partner, the dynamic changes and you start having conversations you didn’t used to have. Arguing over who gets which side of the closet and nitpicking over where to hang your photos doesn’t exactly put you in the mood.
When you plan the wedding
Some couples argue more during their wedding planning than any other time in their lives. In fact, planning a wedding drives some couples to break up! There are too many daily logistics and discussions to boost anybody’s libido.
When somebody gets a new job
New jobs usually make people feel insecure—they’re still proving themselves to their coworkers, and are essentially in a trial period. Plus, people tend to work long hours at new jobs, to show they’re committed. None of this leads to much sex.
When somebody puts on a little weight
If you’re together for a long time, you’ll both put on and lose weight several times. But weight gain can make a person feel insecure about getting naked and getting it on.
When somebody hurts their back
Hey, we’re all getting older. You’ll both end up pulling this, dislocating that or straining the other thing at some point, which takes a lot of thrusting and bouncing around off the table.
Cold and flu season
Cold and flu season lasts twice as long for couples! Why? Because one of you gets it, just as you’re getting better, the other person gets it and just as they’re getting better, the healthy person picks up some new strain from a coworker.
When someone gets fired
Men, in particular, can suffer a lot of depression and self-doubt when they lose their jobs—their career is often closely tied to their identity. When someone loses their job, they don’t feel confident anywhere, including in the bedroom.
After having a baby
Take all the time you need. Your lady parts need to recover, your partner’s brain needs to recover from what he saw in the delivery room, and you both aren’t getting enough sleep.
When someone has a sick relative
Even if it isn’t your relative, if your partner’s relative is sick, it can feel insensitive to put on sexy lingerie and try to distract him with sex.
The new puppy
Getting a dog together is so much fun! But they require constant care, and if you leave them alone for even ten minutes, in the beginning, they’ll pee on or eat something. Plus, they’re just so cute that you don’t want to shut them out of the bedroom.
Financial hardship has never been a mood-enhancer for anybody. But when you’re together for a long time, you’ll have periods of financial hardship, and you won’t feel like doing it.
Change of birth control
If you change your form of birth control, it could mess with your hormones, killing your libido for a while. Furthermore, if you go off of the pill and need to use condoms again, this fact alone may make your partner not want to have sex.
When you get a temporary roommate
When a newly-divorced friend or family member needs to move in for a while, you just won’t feel comfortable getting it on in the next room.
Your close friends divorce or break up
Speaking of divorce, if you’re together for decades, you’ll see a few. When your close friends get a divorce, it ends up affect your relationship more than you’d expect. You’re both stunned and sad for your friends, and it feels odd to have sex.
After someone gets hurt during sex
You’ll suffer a few sex injuries in your years together. Not only will the injured need to heel, but the other person will need to get over their fear of accidentally hurting their partner again.