A mother and her teenage son isolated on white
By “too close,” I’m not talking about the heartwarming mother-son bond where your man can’t help but call mama every day, spoil her with lavish gifts and sweet-smelling flowers, and put her on the heavenly high pedestal that she deserves to be on.
Oh no, no. I’m talking about, as a personal example, a situation that plays out like this:
“Hey, I’m hanging out with mom tonight,” he said.
“Aw that’s adorable,” I replied. “Where are you guys going?”
“She invited me to have a few drinks with her co-workers … ”
“Oh that’s … ”
“ … at the club.” he added.
Record scratch.
“You mean a book club?”
“Nope.”
“A water aerobics club?”
“Nuh-uh.”
“The bible study club?”
“No.”
“Hopefully the I-don’t-go-out-for-drinks-with-my-son club?” I asked desperately.
“Nope – a club, club,” he said.
Cringe. You can’t tell me that’s not weird. “Hey, my mom’s my best friend,” he’d often say. That’s nice, and I understand that, but isn’t there an unwritten rule somewhere – a 13th commandment maybe – that says it’s borderline bizarre for sons to go out for drinks with their mothers?
It doesn’t stop there.
What’s bound to happen with a man who’s that close with his mother is that, make no mistake, there will be that dreaded awkward moment when you realize he’s been spilling all your damn business – everything you’ve ever entrusted him with – to his “best friend.”
“Ah, yes. My son told me about your wonky left nipple.”
Screaming internally.
Maybe I’m being insular because of my own strict upbringing, but I can’t even watch a hot and steamy TV make-out session with my parents without growing hot with embarrassment, let alone discuss my sex life with them.
So I just can’t fathom how someone could be so unfiltered with their own mother.
While I love my mother and father incredibly, there are certainly not my best friends. I’m not going to kick it with ‘em at a bar or dance club.
And yet, there I was – with a man who was totally in his element exchanging dirty sex jokes with his mother and not feeling an ounce of shame.
But the more I got to know the mother, the more I realized that there was an underlying, calculative reason behind why she cultivated such an oddly intimate relationship with her son. Psychologically, the more distant a mother is with her son, the less likely he will be to volunteer all that juicy information a mother would secretly want to know. “No, that’s weird,” a typical son would say. “I’m not going to tell you that. You’re my mom!”
But she knew that by being her son’s “best friend” – not much different than the guys her son is buddy-buddy with – he would willingly indulge her curiosities with all the tantalizing details most mothers would never find out in their lifetime.
I mean, I get it, but it’s still weird any way you slice it.
If you ask me, there’s a line you do not cross with your ‘rents – salacious sex talks and bar hopping included.
There’s peculiar feeling of comfort in knowing that your partner has a healthy distance between himself and his mother, a safe space that creates a respectful boundary, but also keeps our private, personal information where it belongs – just between him and I.
What do you think? Can a man be too close to his mom?
Kimberly Gedeon is a content creator with nearly 2,000 professional articles published online about everything from beauty and business to politics and pop culture. You can follow her on Twitter @sweetenedcafe or Instagram @kimmiexsweetie.
