Unpopular Opinion: We Can’t Tell OG Aunt Viv How To Process Her Pain

March 31, 2017  |  

They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and Janet Hubert is no exception! After 20-something years of being fired from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, she still refuses to get jiggy with Will Smith. Janet, Ms. Hubert if you’re savage, has been using her social media presence to tell the world how she really feels. For some odd reason, people feel that she needs to “calm down” and keep it moving. The truth of the matter is she has. Janet didn’t start talking about her disappointment with Will until a few years ago. People act as if she’s been taking shots since the day he terminated her contract. In addition to that criticism, others have suggestions about what she needs to do and how she needs to do it! She needs to focus on reviving her career. She better watch it; nobody will want to work with her and that attitude. She needs to be thankful she’s still getting paid from the re-runs… 

I wish someone would have the audacity to tell me how to navigate through my feelings after being slighted in any way, shape, or form. I wish someone would fix their lips to tell me what I need to do instead of what I’m currently doing to get past the situation. It’s not that I’m beyond receiving advice, but the bigger issue is this: Since when do outsiders have the right to tell a victim how to process their pain? I can’t slam your finger in the door and request that you scream at a level I can tolerate. It doesn’t work like that.

Now let’s think about it a bit deeper in terms of romantic relationships that have gone sour. We have all dated someone who was just the absolute epitome of a jerk. And let’s be honest, at some point in time we were dead serious about letting folks know just how much of a jerk this person was in the relationship. Writing Facebook statuses about breakups has never been my thing, but I can point out a lot women who do it. And let’s not forget those women who block their ex’s number but still send long text messages about how they’ll never find anyone better than them. On most occasions when my ex-boyfriends attempt to get in touch with me, I go off. Some days I ignore them; it just depends on how I feel. But the bottom line is I know what occurred with these people and I have the right to handle it however I see fit in that moment. I will always be honest about my feelings–period. And because I was honest about my truth, I was able to actually become friends with one of my exes. He now understands the severity of how his actions affected me. The rest are still on my hit list and there’s nothing they can do redeem themselves. All they need to do is forget my phone number and they’ll live to see another day.

Like Betty Wright said, “It’s just that you know me and I don’t know you.” We know Aunt Viv’s business because it’s so public, so it’s easy to add our two cents and declare “what she needs to do.” But how would we feel if someone told us how to handle being fired, violated or disrespected?

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