Serious Question: When Is Divorce Acceptable?
I’ve known one of my best friends since freshman year in high school. It was our shared love for running track and the arts that instantly created a bond between us. Although we are alike in many ways, we’re not necessarily like-minded. There have been a few debates that left us questioning how we could be friends, but purely in jest.
Throughout our many in-depth conversations, marriage has often been the common thread. We’ve disagreed on a few topics pertaining to this special union, and we most recently agreed to disagree while discussing divorce. We didn’t have a full-blown discussion about it, but my friend quickly shared a thought as we were closing a casual chat. She is of the opinion that a person should only get divorced if their spouse habitually cheats or if the person has been abused.
I completely disagreed.
Of course, I think that a person should get the hell out of dodge if they are being abused (emotionally or physically) or being regularly cheated on. However, I believe those aren’t the only sensible reasons for a marriage to come to an end.
At the time, I didn’t feel the need to share my thoughts with my friend as I assumed that our opinions would continue to diverge. But I wholeheartedly believe that a marriage is between God and the two people involved, and the same goes for a divorce. With that being said, who are we to debate why a person should make a life-altering decision for themselves regarding their marriage? If we’re not going through something like that, how can we truly say when divorce is right and when it’s wrong?
I have always put in a lot of work in all of my relationships, so I definitely keep my marriage a priority; therefore, I think that people should put forth the effort in keeping their marriage afloat if they can. But I can’t jump on board with a person staying in a marriage if they are unhappy or feeling disrespected.
A close friend of mine was going through a tough time in her marriage and decided to call it quits with her husband recently. When a few of our married friends caught wind of her situation, they instantly talked about how they hope things work out and proceeded to pray for her, praying that the pair would stay together. This was done despite a decision already being made.
I definitely won’t tell anyone how to pray or what to pray for, but I wasn’t down for praying that she would have a change of heart. How would staying with her husband affect her or their child?
Married and not having to go through a divorce makes me no expert, but I offered my insight when she eventually came to me with her explanation of things. I told her that although I would love to see her family stay together and that counseling could help if they chose to work it out, I supported whatever decision she made. Either way, she was going to receive no judgment from me because only she knew what she was feeling when she would go to bed (or stay awake) at night.
Whether you originally married for reasons that you regret, a trust has been violated, or you and your spouse have done all that you both can but things just aren’t working, you should be true to yourself regarding whatever your reason to divorce. You’re not making it work for the people watching from the outside.
At the end of the day, you have to do what’s best for yourself and your family.
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