Some men don’t seem to understand that planning a great date takes a lot more than saying “eenie meenie miney mo,” picking a random place out of a hat, and, bam, you’re all done.
Just listen to the true-life stories from my friends in dealing with the dreaded man who can’t plan:
“I’ve been dying to see this one movie, and so he agrees to take me to go see it. Tell me how, when we get there, the theater’s not even playing the film I wanted to see!”
“This one guy told me to meet him at a laser tag place, only to be told that, because my date didn’t make call to make a reservation in advance, we had to take our a–es back home.”
“This guy, for a first date ‘surprise,’ thought it was a good idea to take my claustrophobic a– to an escape room. You know, where you pay to get locked in some dark, dirty, dingy room and solve puzzles to navigate your way out? I kept sticking my head out the tiny basement window every five minutes to keep myself from passing out!”
The consensus was complete confusion over why their dates didn’t do any research – a quick Google search will tell you whether a place accepts walk-ins or if a theater is playing the movie you want to see. And as for the escape room scenario, probably not a good idea not to trap your date – someone you don’t know from a hole in a wall – into a locked room as a “surprise.” Just a thought!
But here’s where things got heated. Is a man who can’t plan a dealbreaker?
A resounding “hell yeah” was heard from my more conservative, “men should do this and women should do that” friends who won’t even look back after a poorly planned date:
“I think men should take initiative, plan the dates, have enough common sense to do his Yelps and Googles, and make sure that everything goes smoothly from start to finish. It’s not that hard!”
“Yeah, if we’re habitually finding ourselves in sticky situations because he doesn’t care enough to put some effort into doing some research, guess he doesn’t care about me either.”
But my more “new school” friends, myself included, aren’t so quick to write these men off. I mean, what’s not to love about planning for a date, whether it’s for a first date or a relationship? When I pick the place, he’s on my turf now – I know where the closest escape routes are if sh-t goes south. Since I made the plans, I know for a fact all the bases are covered, so I don’t have to worry about my man forgetting to tie up loose ends.
Plus, I don’t have to painfully endure sitting through a snoozefest of a baseball game or an ear-bleeding, cacophonous live band because, you know, “tradition” and “men plan dates.”
I get to stray away from the usual, boring ol’ cafe-bar-movie-restaurant suggestions and do something fresh and original. If everything else is going well, and bad planning is his only hiccup, as someone who’s a strategic master planner, I don’t mind it at all – we’d balance each other out, no?
But of course, for some women, it’s a complete and utter turn off: “Look, if he’s half-a–ing it and can’t take a few minutes to plan a date properly and thoughtfully, and worse, I have to step in and take over his role, I don’t want no parts of it!”
Alright, alright. You’ve got a point.
So what do you think? Is a man who can’t plan a dealbreaker?
Kimberly Gedeon is a content creator with nearly 2,000 professional articles published online about everything from beauty and business to politics and pop culture. You can follow her on Twitter @sweetenedcafe or Instagram @kimmiexsweetie
