Sex Drive Missing? It Just Might Be In a Different Area Code
Maybe you’re like me and anytime you think about sex your toddler decides its tantrum time and your lady bits instantly put on the “away message”. Maybe you’ve been striking out and linking up with dudes who couldn’t find your G-spot if it was twerking on a handstand with a large pizza. Or just maybe the Trey Songz mixtapes and Hennessy Black has ceased to get you in the mood. Well a recent study has revealed that getting your sexy back may only be a room reservation way.
Psychologist Amy Muise revealed in a recent HuffPost Women piece that there’s a reason why mints on the pillow and room service may be the cure for your missing libido. In fact she said there’s scientific evidence why hotel sex is better sex:
“Vacations can provide opportunities for couples to self-expand ― engage in novel, exciting activities… This can promote sexual desire, sexual activity and sexual and relationship satisfaction.”
A professor in the Department of Psychology at York University in Canada, much of Muise’s work is dedicated to helping couples lead more fulfilling sex lives and exploring why some couples are missing the mark when it comes to romance. She said hotel room sex tends to be better than your normal bedroom routine because of a concept known as “self-expansion”.
“…it’s more than just having a good time. It’s about doing things that are novel, exciting, arousing, challenging and broaden your perspective of your partner or the world.”
“Often it is about doing things outside the bedroom that enhance desire and closeness ― which tends to lead to a greater likelihood of (and better) sex.”
Because how often are you really going to be able to put it on your man on a cruise ship sailing the blackness of the Atlantic Ocean in the middle of the night? There’s a reason Stella was getting those frequent flyer miles and it wasn’t just because of Taye Diggs’ six pack. It’s because becoming a braided beach goddess frolicking the Jamaican sands was a departure from her daily routine which is as arousing as it is adventurous.
As someone who regularly goes through travel withdrawal, I can attest to the fact that a passport and a plane ticket is the way to my heart (and other parts of my anatomy). I like to call it “music video sex”. Getting away from familiar surroundings may encourage you to pull out all of the stops like rose petals in the tub or getting your back blown on the balcony. Seriously, you might not have the courage to do that kind of thing in your own backyard without fearing the neighborhood block captain may catch you mid O-face. Another advantage to hotel rooms are that they allow you to be catered to as a couple. No one has to put the time into going to the farmer’s market for fresh strawberries or sweating over glazed salmon when you can just order room service.
But what about if the way your account is set up, getting your freak on in different area codes isn’t an option? Muise says simply changing your mind state can lead to hotter sex and studies show that when women are in a better mood they’re more likely to get “in the mood”. Ian Kerner, a licensed psychotherapist, sex counselor agrees:
“For sexual arousal to occur, especially in women, parts of the brain associated with anxiety and stress need to turn off.”
You don’t necessarily need to make love on the shores of the Maldive Islands to be sexually satisfied, sometimes it can be just as simple as taking a few days off from work or dropping the kids off at Grandma’s for the weekend.
Who knew that you don’t need a Boris Kodjoe bae to get your sex drive back. All you actually need is an Airbnb account.
Where’s the most exotic place you’ve gotten your bae-cation on?
Images via Bigstock
Toya Sharee is a Health Resource Specialist who has a passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.