Are You Emotionally Intelligent?
Emotional intelligence is arguably one of the most important types of intelligence you could have. One might have business savvy but, if they can’t read the emotions of the people with whom they’re doing business, that savvy becomes a moot point since they may just upset their colleague. People with emotional intelligence also tend to have deeper, more meaningful friendships and far less drama in every type of relationship they have. Really, having emotional intelligence can make everything in life a bit easier. Emotional intelligence can also help you feel happier because you understand the motives of people around you, and realize that very little is personal in life. Do you have high emotional intelligence? Here are the signs.
You take little personally
We already mentioned it, but it’s a big one! Emotionally intelligent people can interpret the actions of others, including the mean actions of others, and recognize when someone is just mean because they are insecure, or projecting.
You get into few arguments
Not that there aren’t plenty of people in your life who piss you off, but you’re emotionally intelligent enough to recognize the people who it’s worth calling out on their sh*t, and the ones who would just drag you down to their level if you did so.
You are empathetic
If someone is a bit rude to you—like a cashier or server—you can quickly assess their situation and realize that their life is harder than yours, and you can’t say for certain that you too wouldn’t be rude if you were in their shoes. After that, you let it go—you don’t get mad at them for being rude.
You don’t have many failed relationships
Like most people, you’ve had plenty of mini relationships that lasted a couple of months before you realized it wasn’t working out. But you do not have several serious relationships, ones in which you lived with the person and considered marrying the person that didn’t work out. You’re too emotionally intelligent to let things get that far with the wrong person.
You’re excited by change!
Rather than change terrifying you, it excites you! People with low emotional intelligence are afraid of change because they don’t know how to adapt; they’ve trained themselves in dealing with things the way they are now, but they don’t have the wits to work with the curve balls that come with change.
You would say you’re pretty happy
Emotionally intelligent people are usually pretty happy! Being unhappy is often a result of being confused and surprised by human behavior. But when you’re emotionally intelligent, the world isn’t confusing to you, and so it isn’t scary, and so, you are happy.
You’ve written off people
You have blatantly told plenty of people, “I don’t think you belong in my life.” You recognize the freedom that comes with that, and you know that nothing truly bad can come of being honest. People who aren’t emotionally intelligent usually don’t even recognize when someone needs to be removed from their life.
You love new people
If you’re around new people, you light up. You ask questions about new people and want to get to know them. Your emotional intelligence allows you to deduce a lot about somebody when they give you a little information. Meanwhile, people who aren’t emotionally intelligent can be afraid of new acquaintances, because people can easily pull a blindfold over them and they don’t know it.
You know what to avoid
You know what situations and people irritate you, and make you behave in a way that you don’t like. But furthermore, you avoid those. Emotionally intelligent people know the situations in which they cannot control their actions well and avoid them. Emotionally unintelligent people walk into those situations over and over again.
You lead few people on
You know when you don’t want someone getting too close to you, and you consciously do things to keep them at a distance. Rarely does someone think you’re their best friend when you do not think so—you send out the right signals.
You’re often right about people
Your intuition is also just a log of details you’ve accumulated about human behavior over the years. You’re very in-tune with that log of information, and you can figure out people rather quickly.
You tease yourself!
Emotionally intelligent people have such a firm grasp on their strengths and weaknesses that they can tease themselves. It doesn’t frighten them to wear their flaws on their sleeve.
You like to learn and grow
You like taking classes and learning what you don’t know. Finding out how in the dark you were about something doesn’t scare you but rather empowers you. People who aren’t emotionally intelligent are usually frightened of scenarios where they may learn just how limited their knowledge was.
You’re not afraid to fail
If you fail at something you really care about, you don’t shy away from it. You recognize that nothing truly bad happened—you didn’t die. You just didn’t get the job/win the race/make it to the top yet.
You’re not mad at anybody
You learned long ago that if somebody makes you angry on a regular basis, you probably just shouldn’t be friends with them and you release them from your life. So you rarely have someone in your life with whom you’re angry.
You love to be generous
People who aren’t emotionally intelligent can be afraid to be generous, whether that’s with physical objects, or their time or their emotions. You, however, like to be generous, give gifts, and help people out. You’re not afraid that they won’t receive it well and it will destroy you—you’re just glad you did it.
You know when to be private
You recognize people who will use personal information against you, and you don’t tell them much about yourself.
You love the people you spend time with
You’ve curated a wonderful circle of friends through your emotional intelligence! When you’re with your friends, it’s very rare that somebody says something that offends you or insults you. They wouldn’t, because they’re emotionally intelligent, too.
People talk to you
People, including strangers, often tell you personal information. They can just sense that you’ll accurately assess it.
You like your life
You like your apartment, your job, your roommate (if you have one) and the way you spend your weekends. You’ve done a great job at finding things that nourish your mind and emotions, and weeding out things that don’t.